hi. im 24 years old i was diagnosed with major depression 2 and a half years ago. Im already a licensed nurse here in our country.After getting my license, i went into a one month training in the cvu, icu and ward in a local hospital.When i was a trainee, i can hardly follow the instructions (such as operating the infusion pump), i also find it hard to concentrate and to focus.. and i get so panicky and overwhelmed by anxiety.I just think that it was too stressful.My anxiety is so strong that i cud not fulfill the job as being a nurse.Even the other nurses were seeing me like that and I felt really ashamed. I feel so powerless. I studied hard for my career, passed the exam and everything. I just could not accept that this is happening to me right now. I even cancelled my exam although i paid 50% of its price because its useless, Its actually a borad exam of America. (the nclex) . NOw,. im jobless, my pdoc told me to let go of nursing and find another job. But i couldn't let go just like that. I am thinking about my future and everything. Many suggested that, "why dont you focus on ur healing first and decide later if u still wanted to continue?":My answer to that is, i know myself. What if im already ok, then i returned on being not so okay. In nursing there should be no mistakes right? It's just so frustrating because i wanted to pursue hemodialysis nursing. I just dont know what to do. The fact that i cudnt do nursing is killing me. Should i take my examination which is the NCLEX (board exam of nurses in the USA) now or not?
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