Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
My son took his own life while on vacation in Cancun last August 18th, he was bipolar I and since that time I've been touched by him on three different occasions.
The first time he touched me I was at work on the sidewalk in front of our building having a cigarette at 1am when I had a stroke. I'm sure it was a stroke because my arms and finders started to tingle, I was dizzy and nauseous and I had a really bad headache.
So...I went outside to get some fresh air. Big mistake that's when the stoke really hit me my heart started racing and I fell down after lighting a cigarette. It was a calm night with no wind. I reached in my pocket for my cell phone to call my co-worker to tell her to call 911 when a huge gust of wind came out of no where and in a few seconds I completely recovered. This was in early October of last year.
More recently..On July 15th of last year my son Bobby and I went to a local pet store and bought a baby Oscar, Bobby picked it out. He loved these fish and we hadn't had one for a few years, and I figured it would cheer him up, so we bought one. During the week before Bobby went to Cancun, never to return, he would ask me several times a day "will you take care of my fish when I'm gone" I would always say sure I will, and you know I will. During the last year the fish lived happily in his huge tank in Bobby's old bedroom. I cared for it daily as I promised I would. Over the course of the last year the fish was healthy and happy and he grew about 5 times the size he was when we first purchased him.
On July 15th of this year which was the one year anniversary of his purchase, the fish suddenly refused to eat. Three days later he appeared near death, at the bottom of the tank. This means that on the one year anniversary of his purchase he started dying. On July 18th I knew the fish was near death. So I told myself I would give the fish a proper burial in the woods next to my condo, when the time came. When I left for work at 7:30 pm on the 18th the fish was near death, and just laying in the bottom of his tank in the exact same spot he's been in for a few day's without moving.
On the morning of the 19th at 6:00 am I returned home from work and the fish was GONE from the tank. I haven't been able to find the fish anywhere, and I've spent several hours over the course of the last few weeks looking. Obviously the fish did not walk or swim away. There is no smell of rotting fish in the bedroom, and the morning of the 19th was my birthday. Its now August 2nd and I still can't find the fish. This is the third time since Bobby's death I've had an unusual or unexplainable experience.
I also had another contact with my son since his death, but I'll keep that one private.
Apparently my son has become a very powerful entity, and I think I need to talk to a priest, to get a professional opinion as it were. Trust me, my sons power is far removed from what modern Psychiatry can deal with.
The first time he touched me I was at work on the sidewalk in front of our building having a cigarette at 1am when I had a stroke. I'm sure it was a stroke because my arms and finders started to tingle, I was dizzy and nauseous and I had a really bad headache.
So...I went outside to get some fresh air. Big mistake that's when the stoke really hit me my heart started racing and I fell down after lighting a cigarette. It was a calm night with no wind. I reached in my pocket for my cell phone to call my co-worker to tell her to call 911 when a huge gust of wind came out of no where and in a few seconds I completely recovered. This was in early October of last year.
More recently..On July 15th of last year my son Bobby and I went to a local pet store and bought a baby Oscar, Bobby picked it out. He loved these fish and we hadn't had one for a few years, and I figured it would cheer him up, so we bought one. During the week before Bobby went to Cancun, never to return, he would ask me several times a day "will you take care of my fish when I'm gone" I would always say sure I will, and you know I will. During the last year the fish lived happily in his huge tank in Bobby's old bedroom. I cared for it daily as I promised I would. Over the course of the last year the fish was healthy and happy and he grew about 5 times the size he was when we first purchased him.
On July 15th of this year which was the one year anniversary of his purchase, the fish suddenly refused to eat. Three days later he appeared near death, at the bottom of the tank. This means that on the one year anniversary of his purchase he started dying. On July 18th I knew the fish was near death. So I told myself I would give the fish a proper burial in the woods next to my condo, when the time came. When I left for work at 7:30 pm on the 18th the fish was near death, and just laying in the bottom of his tank in the exact same spot he's been in for a few day's without moving.
On the morning of the 19th at 6:00 am I returned home from work and the fish was GONE from the tank. I haven't been able to find the fish anywhere, and I've spent several hours over the course of the last few weeks looking. Obviously the fish did not walk or swim away. There is no smell of rotting fish in the bedroom, and the morning of the 19th was my birthday. Its now August 2nd and I still can't find the fish. This is the third time since Bobby's death I've had an unusual or unexplainable experience.
I also had another contact with my son since his death, but I'll keep that one private.
Apparently my son has become a very powerful entity, and I think I need to talk to a priest, to get a professional opinion as it were. Trust me, my sons power is far removed from what modern Psychiatry can deal with.
My dad died 10 years ago, a full life at 84. however, I see him in the butterflies that usually come around when I'm sad or why my granddaughters visit or more so, when I'm trying to fix something and doing it the wrong way. I swear he is behind me....all of a sudden I can do it correctly.
I'd say enjoy his being near you, taking care of things. Look forward to hearing what happens.
One of my sisters says the same thing when she is wresting with a decision.'
As for the wind and fish also maybe the other not spoken, that may be Bobby now stronger letting you he is better, caring for you and his fish. I would say if you haven't already sought help in therapy go ahead and search for a therapist. Losing a child the way you did leaves so many feelings besides just grief. For you the unanswered questions of "was he trying to tell me something" in asking for you to take care of his fish. May be a trigger. A priest may help on giving you some insights, but the trust has to be there with them, even though they receive training in counseling.
I lost a brother to such an indecent. He was to come home from the Marines. All the prep done sending things ahead, but never walking through the door. I convinced myself that he didn't die, but was on a road trip. His was a closed casket, so no visual proof in my mind. It was actually a dream communication, from my uncle that had also passed, telling me that he was okay now and with him. You know I have gone on.
In my family and culture this is not unusual.
General symptoms of a stroke include:
Sudden numbness, tingling, weakness, or loss of movement in your face, arm, or leg, especially on only one side of your body.
Sudden vision changes.
Sudden trouble speaking.
Sudden confusion or trouble understanding simple statements.
Sudden problems with walking or balance.
A sudden, severe headache that is different from past headaches.
http://www.webmd.com/stroke/tc/stroke-symptoms
Thanks to all who have relied, so far. I believe my son has become an entity, or Dark Angel if you will. I say this because my son has also given me knowledge of this, in the form of beliefs. And he's backed it up with showing his hand on three occasions.
What he's allowed me to know so far is: Dark Angels differentiate from other spirit beings, like ghosts, or Angels in that they can penetrate the auric field, which is the electromagnetic field that surrounds our bodies, time, space and distance have no meaning to them.
Dark Angels are able to influence and even change occurrences in the real world. This I have experienced first hand, starting about a month after he passed away, 40 days at most.
If you had asked me at this time last year if this were possible, I would have said no, now I know better.