So, I dont really need any advice here. I just need to vent for a minute. And though maybe my post could help others struggling. 

Early on in my marriage, a friend of my husband was incredibly rude to me and tried to meddle in our marriage and she did cause a lot of pain for both of us. My husband was faithful and there were no wrong-doings on his part. But she was incredibly manipulative, lying unnecessarily and was playing a lot of mind games with both of us. Her behavior was obvious, yet disturbing.  I am not usually one to cut things off without reslove, but I was clearly dealing with a pathological liar and a narcissist. I did make attempts to resolve the issue, but she just blew it off time after time of making plans to get together to resolve the issue. She would express that she wanted to talk it out when my husband was around then cancel at the last minute.  So I decided to just let it be, live my life, and my husband and I cut off contact. She however proceded to approach friends, including my best friend (oops) who came back to me with her stories of self pity and whoa with me as the wrong-doer. This was embarrassing, because I did not share the details with anyone outside of my husband. And she continues to do so and it has been a year.  This had caused me a great deal of anxiety social and otherwise that I did not have to the extent that it grew to.  I have worked through a lot of the anxiety on my own and in therapy and am in a much better place with it. However, she is amping up again. Recently, she showed up at an event at the gallery I work at, she also showed up at the bookstore that I work at on a day I was off and was rude to another employee and has again talked to people untruthfully about what has occurred and shared with people that are my friends. (BTW: She knows that I work at both places). At the gallery, I just acted as if she was invisible and that worked out pretty well. She left soon after. While I will never understand her intentions or what her personal insecurities are, or why she feels the need to treat people the way that she does, I have decided to take the higher road. Her behavior is her problem (my mantra lol).

1. I refuse to react to her behavior. That is what she wants. She wants me to feel the disruption and she wants that disruption to spread to the important areas of my life. She wants my life to be disrupted so, if I dont react and keep business as usual, her behavior will be highlighted. 

2. I keep the peace in my relationship by not allowing her behavior to interfere with the peace and calm in my relationship. She is responsible for her behavior. Not myself or my husband.  

3. When I feel anxiety because she is crossing a boundary, I picture the Buddah in The Burning House. This is a classic story where he remains at peace in choosing his response to the environment. 

4. I know that, since I am manager of the bookstore, should she come in, since she did treat one of my employees rude, I can calmly tell her never to return. And I will should she step in when I am there without a moments hesitation. But I will do so with a polite manner and and let her know where there are other bookstores. ;) 

5. I continue to not talk badly about her and I am positive with people around me. If you cant say something nice yadda yadda yadda...

While she may be spinning out of control trying to hurt others, I am going to do my thing. I am going to stand up tall and be myself. I am going to continue to do the things I love. I have my back. I know that my friends love me and will stand up for me too. I can be calm and let her be responsible for her behavior. I dont need it. And I dont have the time for it. 

Thank you for letting me vent and for reading!