I'm struggling with alot of anxiety right now. There are a number of things going on. First, I live in a personal care home for almost 3 years. I hate it. They control every aspect of my life: when to get up in the morning (6 AM every day), meal times, what is served (I had my upper teeth extracted so I buy my own food but I still have to pay rent which includes the food they serve, most of which I can't chew, and no, I don't want to eat pureed food), and when to go to bed (8 PM every night). They told me my room is designed to be a double, with a roommate. I want a single, due to having PTSD, I can't tolerate a roommate. The admin told me he'd call to see if any other personal carehomes in the area have a single available. But I'm pretty sure he hasn't done it. And I'm wondering if I'd rather have my own apt again, that way I could control my life. Problem is, I no longer have my car nor can I afford one, since I'm now on Social Security Disability. Transportation would be difficult. I just had a session with my therapist yesterday. I don't feel like she's helping me with my anxiety and maybe I should find another therapist. I'd really like group therapy, it helped me in the past but there are no groups in the area where I live now. I wonder if there are groups via telehealth. Also, I have a dr's appt on Friday and I'm scared because I have to take public transportation. I'm dreading it. I did arrange to have my psych meds prescribed via telehealth, which starts next week.
We are still in lockdown even though parts of our state is beginning to open.The weather is good today. What else is positive?
I have had a parent who is a habitual liar and I have adopted the habit in my life and I want to stop. Even small things. I struggle with real and not real because of my schizophrenia too. My wife can't be with someone who has this issue because her dad had it too. I would understand if she wants to leave because I am still working on this issue but I wish we could solve it without her leaving...