Hey Prov,

I feel your pain man, my anxiety has taken a toll on me. I am a cub scout leader and I think about hiking and camping and dying. I am scared because I don't want to die. My kids are 10 and 5 and I want to be here for them, but in the end I know I have no control.

In late 2007 when I was dealing with bad panic attacks think I was having a heart attack all the time I was hoping I would just have one and "get it over with". Ultimately I fear the way I will die, and don't believe I have the "courage" to take my own life.

It is a selfish act and I do not want my kids to grow up w/o me for cause I ended it, how selfish to them.

Each day is a struggle. I had a great day yesterday, today, dealing with anxiety again, I am at work. Nothing strenough, Desk job, answer the phone, support a network, but anxious none-the-less. My only difference is I suffer chest pain from Costochodritis or so the doctors say. When I they cannot find anything wrong, this is what they tell me it is, they say you have this diagnoses and that must be it.

Most days are a struggle, but I try to occupy my mind and keep on chugging along, it is not easy though. Keep the faith, don't do anything horrible. Try to be strong.

I just recently had a setback in my fight against anxiety. what was you doing to fight it before that isn't working now? Did you have a trigger? all things to look at. Maybe if you can find the source you can go back to square one and address that issue. I am a christian as well and I was at a point where I felt like there was no other way out. But like you I thought about my family and faith, and knew that was not even an option. I poured my heart out God and pleaded with him to help me understand. And even though I still don't fully understand, But do know it has brought me closer to him when for so long I kept him at a distance. Not saying that is you but I feel like now I went through this for a reason. I know God is using me for something. But other than that I take zoloft and it helps me. I know alot of people are against meds but they help me cope. I hope and pray that you getto feeling better. Just stop and breathe. Or you can work out. I also liked played basketball bouncing the ball literally put me in a trance and made me forget my anxiety lol. I wore that basketball out:)

@mrsmanwarren.One of my friends is having problems with his girlfriend and has been drinking excessively so Ive been worrying about getting a call soon that he is dead.This is by the way another problem I have I think too much about death or dying.This is the only thing I can think of that could have triggered the extra anxiety other than exposing myself to crowded areas recently.
As far as my faith God is the only thing that keeps me sane but I do wonder why doesnt he take this away,he has taken away other bad things in my life..My medical doctor saw how my tremors were worse so he started me on lexapro which worked for me in the past but it is very expensive.Before this I was only taking xanax when needed

This stuff is terrible. I know. Hang in there and keep on posting here. Mine has been starting to let up some. it is not perfect, but at least I am starting to suffer less.

I am starting to actually get a handle on it.

I have been suffering with panic attacks and anxiety for years and years and I am still here.

I used to have over a dozen panic attacks a day and was really bad off. Now, I just suffer from daily anxiety which sometimes lets up and I can be calm for hours and maybe five or six panic attacks in a week.

It does get better and I figure by the end of this year it will be mainly just a memory with an occasional flare up.

Hang in there!

I obsessed about death as well. My girls got really sick, I thought I was gonna lose both of them. That was my last and final grip on a normal reality, that just pushed me over the edge. after that any little sneeze, cough, or abnormal behavior threw me into a full blown panic attack. I thought it was only a matter of time before the next bad thing happened. I couldn't let my kids out of my sight for fear of something terrible happening. I completely broke down and couldn't leave my room. I made it through it though. I t was not easy. I know that, but I don't consider myself a really strong person and if I can do it you can too. I had a rough week last week but I just took it one sec at a time and made it. And even though God hasn't taken this away from you he is there helping you through this.

Yes I constantly think something is going to happen to my kids especially my daughter.What did you do mrsmanwarrren to relieve this?As I said I just started lexapro and I plan on joining a gym and see a psychotherapist when my income is better

I just kept telling myself that God pulled them through. If he wanted them he would have taken them. I kept telling myself that they are normal. It's normal for kids to get sick. I know when to worry and when not to. I also realized that if I kept obsessing and overprotecting them we were all going to miss out on their childhood and I didn't want that. I still stress over them but not nearly as bad. It took a bunch of moments of talking myself down and doing things to distract myself to help me get to this point. The main thing I did when I found myself stressing over them is playing with them. Which I still do, but I get down on the floor and just play with them and listen to them laugh. I then realize that God gave them to me to raise and love and cherish not to make my life stressful even though it is. I live every moment in gratitude. I don't know if this helps you but i hope it does.

My kids have no idea I feel this way and if I let anxiety take over.They would never go out unless I am with them.It doesnt hep when I hear about horrible stories about things happening to other people's kids.I feel like you I dont want my problems effect there lives.I want to live life to the fullest.
Yes you have helped mrsmanwarren with what you have said and most importantly all of you have made me feel like Im alone and some kind of freak

It's not easy. You read the paper, watch the news, ride the ambulance and fire trucks like I do and horrible things are happening to people all day long.

You have to put it in God's hands I suppose, no matter the outcome and know (hope) there is a reason for how it all works.

Today is the first day back at work for a co-worker who coded at the gym in January. He is laughing and joking, talking about his new diet and people say "Great to see you", he's like "Great being scene!!" I mean, I am not sure how I would react to that.

Here one minute, gone the next, you never know. I am trying to live each day to the fulliest. I have no control in some ways, what will be will be!!

My high school quote was "Live life, don't analyze it" after having multiple bouts with it, apparently I have not done well living by that. I keep trying though!

proverb1412, this no way to live, and sometimes it seems that it's better to be gone and to have it all end. Ask for help, if you can tolerate meds try those. Look in yellow pages, ask around , maybe there is a program that would help you. Call a hotline near you? Tell them how you feel, or a trusted friend? Your wife sounds like she really wants to help you, with her support maybe you can find some help. I wish you the best

I'm really sorry to hear you are in so much pain. It has to be horrible to be dealing with this daily. Do you just experience anxiety when your out in public and around people. If so one technique that could be used that has helped me is small exposures to the stressful situation. Starting out small and experiencing people in smaller does then leading up to a bigger event such as dinner out may help. It is like baby steps. Being exposed to a less stressful situation then growing to a more stressful one may make the experience better. Hope this helps.

I can completely relate to this..and I absolutely GET IT! I will be doing fine or (fine for me)...I don't think I'm ever as calm as most people..Anyway...then BAM!! consumed with anxiety. I go from being my version of OK to this worrying, trembling, anxious ball of nerves. I don't take meds...been there done that...they played out on me and honestly I'm not interested in taking them anymore. I'm 40 and have ebbed and flowed out of anxiety my entire life. I can't comfortably go many places at all...and just when I start spreading my wings and can stretch out a little further..something (I'm creating) will come up and send me 10 steps back. I hate anxiety....and honestly..I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I get so tired of it...I just want to be normal...and normal to me...would be not freaking out all the time...keeping things in perspective and learning to breathe. I am wound tighter than tick. I hate it for you and I hate it for me and I hate it for all anxiety sufferers..it is a curse for sure. And..what makes it even harder to accept is that (not bragging here)..but I'm a really good person and I know everyone else here is to. I have a conscience, I have feelings, I am kind and sympathetic ....but maybe all that is the problem...maybe I feel to much...care to much....I don't know. I hate it.