Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
My husband and I have been married for 3 years. I'm white and he is black. He will not open up to me about anything because he assumes that I don't get it because I'm white. First of all, I've known I was white my whole life but I didn't know that made me blind to all of the injustices that have taken place. I personally did not keep slaves so why should there be a grudge held against me?
So last night, we we both voted Obama and watched as he made his acceptance speech. But we had to watch in separate rooms because I'm white and I didn't get the relevance of this occasion. Then when my husband came to bed saying he felt vindicated I asked for an explanation. I wouldn't get it, he said. He was raised as an upper class spoiled rotten child who to this day has no respect for anyone regardless of the color of their skin. If I try to take issue up with that I'm automatically a racist. How does one deal with the stigma of inter-raciality? I love my husband dearly for all the good and bad but I'm tired of trying to convince him that I'm not a racist and not everyone who is white has these racially charged feelings!!! What can I do to ease this stress?
So last night, we we both voted Obama and watched as he made his acceptance speech. But we had to watch in separate rooms because I'm white and I didn't get the relevance of this occasion. Then when my husband came to bed saying he felt vindicated I asked for an explanation. I wouldn't get it, he said. He was raised as an upper class spoiled rotten child who to this day has no respect for anyone regardless of the color of their skin. If I try to take issue up with that I'm automatically a racist. How does one deal with the stigma of inter-raciality? I love my husband dearly for all the good and bad but I'm tired of trying to convince him that I'm not a racist and not everyone who is white has these racially charged feelings!!! What can I do to ease this stress?
He is shutting you out and has built a wall round himself.
It sounds like therapy would be a good idea, im sorry but it sounds like he is being predujist because your white, he knew that when he married you and should be treating you with more love and respect.
Maybe you can both learn about his culture together and he will get that chip off his shoulder.
This behaviour is baffling to me, we are all the same Black or White.
I hope you can work things out with your hubby and i hope i dont sound like im being to harsh on him.
Good Luck And Warmest Wishes xx.
I would suggest you try and find a support site that deals with biracial issues. I am almost sure your husband will have nothing to do with marital counseling.
You can also simply let him be and stay away from emotionally charged situations that involve race. Don't try to prove you're not a racist anymore. Just walk away from it. It will always be this way. Having black skin and being in a white man's world has caused deep seated feeling in every black person and rightfully so. On "The View" the other day Elizabeth was talking about race and Sherri said "you don't know what it is like being black". You see, it is a universal experience shared by all blackz in America, almost like an exclusive club and whites aren't invited.
Your statement concerning your husband has no respect for anyone no matter what the color of their skin seems to paint a picture of a man struggling with anger issues. That part doesn't seem like a bi racial struggle within your relationship but a personal struggle within himself. He has a chip on his shoulder and he wants it to stay there. Human beings are very complex. I hope things work out for you.