Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
When I start feeling anxious, I tend to be able to keep it under control and keep up the front of being fine, normal, until I get alone, and then suddenly I'll crumple to the floor, or couch or chair if there is one available, start hyperventilating, and often feel paralyzed and experience dissociation. However, if I hear someone coming, suddenly I have the strength and ability to get up and pull myself together so that they won't think anything is wrong. Or if I'm on a couch, control my breathing enough to appear peacefully asleep.
Anyway, I've recognized that my anxiety is suppressed emotions. When they've built up too much I have a panic attack and/or dissociate. I'm working towards learning to express my emotions without fear, but it is difficult. I realize that I don't want someone to see me 'out of control' because I don't want to deal with someone else's emotional reaction to my seeming state of crisis. My own emotions are enough, too much! Oh, I see the red flag for codependency here - I'm worrying about the other persons emotions which are theirs, not mine. Well, I may be able to see these things, but to change my reactions is another matter.
There are a few people that I will let see me in that state of anxiety, I guess it's people who I know will remain calm and not react.
When I'm having an attack, my mind is racing and trying to decide what to do. I've had so many for so long, that I know I'm not in any danger so I tend to not call for help and decide to just wait it out, though it almost always gets worse before it gets better. When someone is there, that I'm comfortable with, it does generally pass more quickly.
I'm wondering if calling for help during an attack may be better in the long run - somehow it might help break the cycle. Part of the whole thing is that I'm hiding - I don't want anyone to know the pain I'm in. If I decide ahead of time that I will call for help, maybe that will help keep me from hiding and to face the emotions I'm dissociating from.
Does anyone else experience this ability to pull yourself together as soon as someone else walks in the room?
Do you think trying not to hide my anxiety may be helpful in the long run?
Anyway, I've recognized that my anxiety is suppressed emotions. When they've built up too much I have a panic attack and/or dissociate. I'm working towards learning to express my emotions without fear, but it is difficult. I realize that I don't want someone to see me 'out of control' because I don't want to deal with someone else's emotional reaction to my seeming state of crisis. My own emotions are enough, too much! Oh, I see the red flag for codependency here - I'm worrying about the other persons emotions which are theirs, not mine. Well, I may be able to see these things, but to change my reactions is another matter.
There are a few people that I will let see me in that state of anxiety, I guess it's people who I know will remain calm and not react.
When I'm having an attack, my mind is racing and trying to decide what to do. I've had so many for so long, that I know I'm not in any danger so I tend to not call for help and decide to just wait it out, though it almost always gets worse before it gets better. When someone is there, that I'm comfortable with, it does generally pass more quickly.
I'm wondering if calling for help during an attack may be better in the long run - somehow it might help break the cycle. Part of the whole thing is that I'm hiding - I don't want anyone to know the pain I'm in. If I decide ahead of time that I will call for help, maybe that will help keep me from hiding and to face the emotions I'm dissociating from.
Does anyone else experience this ability to pull yourself together as soon as someone else walks in the room?
Do you think trying not to hide my anxiety may be helpful in the long run?
i understand not wanting people to know what you are going through. i am very embarrased when i have a major freak out at work and often instead i miss a lot of days trying to pull myself together at home. try calling an anxiety hotline! they are familiar with anxiety, can help talk you through the worst of it, and they are never in a rush to get you off the phone. And best of all, no one has to know its you calling.
Hope you find your post to lean on, we all need one.
First of all, well said, you gave a great definition of your anxiety! I think you are right on. I can always pull myself together for the sake of others and I can really relate to not wanting to be seen out of control. You sound very wise! I do think that being able to put yourself out there and be vulnerable is healthy, especially with close friends and family.
Thank you for helping me to understand my anxiety better, you really worded this well.
Best of luck!
As far as being self conscious about an attack I totally get that. I no longer have attacks but I become self conscious about a host of other things. Try focusing on the other person when you are with someone. Thinking about how they will react to you is really thinking about you. When you focus on someone (or something) outside yourself I find it helps distract you from the worrying.
But for me, the tension builds up when I'm around other people and can only be released when I am alone. So, I prefer getting alone so I can have an attack, otherwise it just keeps building inside. When I'm alone I can let go.
Also, I can spend hours and hours alone and be fine, then I go out to some social event, and have the attack afterwards when I get home and am alone.