Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hello, sorry to start a new post, but I am really in a bad state of mind and do not want to wake up my husband, or worse end up in the ER. I also now have a bad headache too. But, headaches are not a new symptom, I have had them for years too.
If you are aware of my situation from my other post, I worked today 8 hours at a new job, then did go out with my husband and friends for dinner.
I was ok for a bit when I got home from work, but still did not feel "right"
Sadly, I felt terrible the entire time we were out, trying to fight off my darn anxiety. My friends asking about my new job, trying to socialize, it was just not easy, or fun for that matter. I even drank a small glass of wine, (I don't drink) hoping it would reduce my uneasy mind, but it only made me feel tired, with an uneasy feeling mind.
I came home and was so so tired, but just could not settle down. I dozed off, only to wake up with great panic, not the racing heart type, but mind racing type.
My surroundings that I see day in and day out, even looked strange to me when I first woke up for a bit, that lead me to even worse panic.
So, I have been pacing, put dishes away, sorted, paced some more, I run myself ragged when I am in this state of mind.
Honestly, even though I have had anxiety like this before in my life, this present anxiety seems to be worse. It's hard to recall, just what I felt on and off through the years sort of like "Out of sight out of Mind" type of thing for me, if I may put it in those words.
I have great fears that I will never feel "right again" fears that maybe it's not anxiety, but if it is not anxiety what would it be?
I don't have any other symptoms such as a racing heart, not tonight anyway.
With my anxiety, I become extremely aware of my being and thoughts, and my mind just feels so chemically off balance, like I am having a drastic sugar low, or took a medication that is altering my sense of well being.
Logically, I can say, I am under stress and overtired causing me to feel this way.
But then I question why many other times in my life when I have been very overtired, or under great stress, I do not experience this severe anxiety.
But, truly I am always a anxious person at a low level, obsess, and have slight depression on and off, but not overwhelming to the point I can't function or am constantly thinking about it like now.
I usually am fairly content and enjoy life most of the time even with mild depression and mild anxiety.
My mind is so tired now, I feel like just giving into it, but don't know what I am really giving into. I have tremendous fear of what might happen if I just sit and let what ever is going to happen, happen.
It appears that one panic attack I had last week, started this scenario of fear, and I am not able to stop worrying about how I am going to feel from moment to moment. I am so very in tuned of my thoughts and feelings, is this common with severe anxiety?
Thanks for listening.
Any input or support is so appreciated.
Pattylyn
If you are aware of my situation from my other post, I worked today 8 hours at a new job, then did go out with my husband and friends for dinner.
I was ok for a bit when I got home from work, but still did not feel "right"
Sadly, I felt terrible the entire time we were out, trying to fight off my darn anxiety. My friends asking about my new job, trying to socialize, it was just not easy, or fun for that matter. I even drank a small glass of wine, (I don't drink) hoping it would reduce my uneasy mind, but it only made me feel tired, with an uneasy feeling mind.
I came home and was so so tired, but just could not settle down. I dozed off, only to wake up with great panic, not the racing heart type, but mind racing type.
My surroundings that I see day in and day out, even looked strange to me when I first woke up for a bit, that lead me to even worse panic.
So, I have been pacing, put dishes away, sorted, paced some more, I run myself ragged when I am in this state of mind.
Honestly, even though I have had anxiety like this before in my life, this present anxiety seems to be worse. It's hard to recall, just what I felt on and off through the years sort of like "Out of sight out of Mind" type of thing for me, if I may put it in those words.
I have great fears that I will never feel "right again" fears that maybe it's not anxiety, but if it is not anxiety what would it be?
I don't have any other symptoms such as a racing heart, not tonight anyway.
With my anxiety, I become extremely aware of my being and thoughts, and my mind just feels so chemically off balance, like I am having a drastic sugar low, or took a medication that is altering my sense of well being.
Logically, I can say, I am under stress and overtired causing me to feel this way.
But then I question why many other times in my life when I have been very overtired, or under great stress, I do not experience this severe anxiety.
But, truly I am always a anxious person at a low level, obsess, and have slight depression on and off, but not overwhelming to the point I can't function or am constantly thinking about it like now.
I usually am fairly content and enjoy life most of the time even with mild depression and mild anxiety.
My mind is so tired now, I feel like just giving into it, but don't know what I am really giving into. I have tremendous fear of what might happen if I just sit and let what ever is going to happen, happen.
It appears that one panic attack I had last week, started this scenario of fear, and I am not able to stop worrying about how I am going to feel from moment to moment. I am so very in tuned of my thoughts and feelings, is this common with severe anxiety?
Thanks for listening.
Any input or support is so appreciated.
Pattylyn
I do have a therapist, I saw her last week, I have not seen her since my mom died a year ago, but after I had that bad panic a week ago, I went to see her.
She feels I need to try a medication. But said trying to wait it out, like I have done in the past, or trying a relax tech. are still options.
I have tried many relax tech, through my life, such as slow breathing, music, preoccupying myself, with busy work, walking, taking a warm bath, reading, seeing a therapist, and probably more.
I am embarrassed to say, I have worked in the mental health field for years, even facilitating anxiety depression support groups. I started subbing at an alternative school for troubled teens as a secretary a few years ago after leaving that position. I was offered this job, working at the residential home, since it is in my field, thinking I could work both, but it is a bit tougher than my last mental health position.
I guess anxiety/depression can strike anyone I suppose no matter how much you know about it.
With the anxiety I am experiencing lately, only preoccupying myself to the point where I am so exhausted I fall asleep for a short period of time late at night, is my only brake from it. My anxiety does reduce a bit at times during the day, coming in waves.
Since I am already tired, from working so much and not eating much either I think my chemistry is really just messed up now, and it is close to impossible for me to just Poof, get back to normal.
And I defiantly fear feeling this way! You are correct there. Thanks for your suggestion.
Pattylyn
But it took a combination of every trick I could find to do it.
Meditation
Exercise (swimming in my case)
One on one therapy
Group therapy
Medications (Celexa)
The medication was tricky. I went through two bad SSRIs before I got to Celexa. Since these meds react differently depending on our personal brain chemistry, what works for me doesn't necessarily work for others, and vice-versa. Paxil gave me killer headaches and Zoloft gave me hot flashes. But Celexa was the ticket. I honestly believe I would not be where I am today without it.
So in my mind, the best way out of anxiety hell is to use every tool you can find.
I did go all the way to my daughters yesterday with my husband, then church, (her church is long too) then we took her, her husband and our two grandkids to a animal farm, with a fancy lodge for brunch. It was really a nice day.
Well, to my surprise, I was fine during the entire day, and so much enjoyed being with my family, especially my grand boys. To bad I can't be in church or at a animal farm, day in and out right?
I still had slight "off" feelings. But no extreme anxiety. Of course my husband was with me all day, he is one of my "safe" people when I am very anxious. Oddly enough, because when I am not anxious at times, he can be the one that would appear to make me anxious. We have been married 30 years though, so I am comfortable with him it seems good or bad times.
After getting home I was ok too, really tired, fearing sleeping then, because I would not sleep then at night. But I did sleep ok too.
Today, I had to get up at 5:30 AM, work and am working again at the residential home 8 hours, then a funeral, (husbands uncle) directly after. I am feeling, slightly nervous about going to work.
Thanks again for reading, hope you have a good day.
Pattylyn.
PS I plan to post a photo from yesterday, I love to take pictures!