Typo...kids are aged 16 and 11
Thinking about applying for FMLA and taking some time off work. Thinking about going to work scares me :(

If anyone's out there it would help to hear a friendly voice :(

I'm sorry that you're going through this.

It sounds like you've been dealing with anxiety for a while, but recently some things have happened in your life -- like your husband being away, kids growing older, getting a new job -- that would stress anyone out.

You mentioned several meds...I'm certainly not against meds, but I also think that it helps to look outward at the circumstances of your life (and not just inward at the chemical in your brain). You're going through a very rough patch, and a tricky thing about anxiety is that knowing you have it can generate more. Have you tried things to help you settle your thoughts about all that you're going through, a technique like writing in a journal? Also, trying to get a few things done in your life, even simple chores, might direct your attention outward more.

I think you'll feel better soon...please keep us up to date on this board.

I bought two books...the anxiety and phobia workbook and when panic attacks. I felt hope when first reading, but I'm feeling very hopeless and have no energy. Im scared of everything...what if I lose my job, what if my husband leaves, what if I screw up kids...am I going to have to take Ativan forever. Then I read about the scare talk with taking Ativan daily and that freaks me out more. I can start to tell myself I'm okay, then the physical symptoms start. Just thinking about going to work is keeping me up. I took 3mg of Ativan throughout day, I mg right before bed, and still only slept 4-5 hours. Woke up with anxiety. I was doing so well for so long, I'm really pissed off at myself

Hang in there! It sounds like you are going through a really hard time. You are doing a great job, expressing how you feel and asking for exactly what you need.

I had a sudden descent into extreme anxiety earlier this year, in response to various things happening in my life. It felt like the anxiety would never improve or go away. But it has improved immensely, and the struggle has left me feeling like a stronger person mentally and emotionally.

My thoughts:

I would first tell my doctor what you wrote here. A medication change may be all you need to feel better.

In the mean time, you could tell yourself: "This may just be a temporary reaction to new medicine. I will handle the discomfort the best I can for now, until I talk to my doctor."

I tried this with the "What ifs," and it really helped me: For every "What if," immediately think of, and write down, a positive ending to the sentence, something you'd look forward to with anticipation instead of anxiety:

What if I lose my job? becomes:
What if I don't lose my job? What if I do really well at it, and find that I absolutely love it? Or: What if I do adequately at the new job, and that is enough? Or: What if it takes me a while to learn the new job, but everyone is okay with that? Or: What if I am only average at the new job, but nobody cares, because I am doing it better than anyone else they had available?

What if my husband leaves me? becomes:
What if my husband is totally understanding of my hard time, and he comforts and supports me? Or: What if he doesn't understand, but he values our marriage enough that he wants to be with me even when I feel terrible? Or: What if he is not understanding at first, but as we deal with this difficult situation, something good comes out of it, and our relationship endures? Or: What if he eventually leaves me, and I find out I can handle that?

What if this never goes away? becomes:
What if this turns out to be a very short lived reaction to a change in medicine, and then I feel fine? or
What if I tell my doctor how I'm feeling, and he/she changes my medication, and then I feel fine?
Or: What if my doctor doesn't understand, and I continue to feel bad, but I find a new doctor who is a better match for me, and I feel good about standing up for myself?


Not finding comfort in the usual things, being scared to drive...those could just be temporary symptoms, kind of like fever and nausea when you have the flu. After talking to your doctor, you could try to think of them as possibly temporary, and maybe schedule a date in the future to see if there has been any improvement. That way you are taking care of the concern, and assigning the anxiety about those issues as something to be dealt with later. (But if you really feel bad, talk to your doctor!)

Something else I just read, that helped me:
It is not the content of our worry that we need to address. It is the mental habit of worrying. It doesn't matter whether you are worrying about work or husband or driving or symptoms or heights or spiders or anything else. Those are just subjects your mind grabs onto when it wants to do its habit of worrying. So...first just try to notice when your mind starts to worry, and tell yourself, "Oh, okay, there my mind goes, worrying again. Same old habit. No big deal." More about this here:

http://www.anxieties.com/97/ocd-four#.Vf0v8hFViko

You sound like a very smart and capable person who has too much to deal with at the moment. You don't have to do everything at once or solve everything at once.

Feeling anxious is just feeling anxious. Like a migraine headache. It feels awful, it feels all consuming, it is exhausting, but it does end.

I hope something I said helps a little. If not, I hope you'll continue to post here, because there are lots of good people here who are much better than me at giving support and encouragement.

Your comments did help. I started taking the Effexor after the anxiety started. I'm trying to stay positive.
I saw my therapist for the first time in years today. We focused on deep breathing and making a worry spot...somewhere to go and sit when the worry kicks in. I'm supposed to time myself and allow myself 10 minutes to worry, then get up and splash water on my face or something else to bring me in the moment. I'm supposed to yell "stop" three times to myself before I go to the worry spot. Sounds goofy, but doesn't hurt to try

Hey Trying... Nice to meet you I'm Jared.

So it sounds like your having a little of a rough patch, but things will be alright I promise. I say this because I have sat where you have been today, not knowing what to do because the heavy weight of anxiety feels like it has its own gravitation force lol. Listen you can do it i promise. I did this with the help of this community, family, friends, and god.

It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life and when things are hectic you find less time in things that YOU NEED to keep a stable life style. you see we live in a world we are constantly moving and have little rest but this is bad for the soul....

Okay this is what you can do... I learned these throughout the years and have been keeping them with me ever since...

The biggest tools we have to fight anxiety is writing and I mean this... with a pen and paper. You see i want you to write down your negative thoughts for a day and counter then with a positive... it might sound simple, but it is the simple things that go a long way....

EXAMPLE

Negative: I thought my anxiety went away its back for good...
Positive: Though i have anxiety and I lost it for a while, I know the tools to help me get of this for anxiety will not control my life I will.

Negative: anxiety ruined my comfort in music
Positive: Music is my salvation for me the melody reminds me of places i been that bring me peace of mind...

and so on.

To have setbacks you must have made progress REMEMBER THAT

other things you can do is exercise. exercise 30 minutes a day this releases serotonin (happy) and other hormones that are beneficial for a healthy life style and also will help with self esteem

get involved with the community join a team, book club, walk to the park, stay busy with people. Human contact goes a long way no matter what you do.

Give back... there is nothing more satisfying than giving back... best feeling in the world is going to a lemonade stand and tipping the little kids 10 bucks... to us its nothing for them it goes a long way.

talk... talking is key for this don't feel like you are alone FOR i guarantee there are thousands of others that are going through the same thing.

Prayer/mediation- this took a while for me for i wasn't that religious before my anxiety, but when i needed help the most i went to church and the sermon that was preach felt like it was made for me (it actually included my name "jared" lol)

if you feel a panic attack coming on...visualization is a great way to help... I live in rhode island so my peaceful place is the water. I always remember this one time at the beach where everything was just right... sunset, waves, temp, everything and this brings me peace

you can deep breathe which triggers your parasympathetic system turning off your fight or flight system.

say out loud objects that are in the room... etc.

Visualize anxiety as a rope bridge one side is peace and happiness the other is chaos and sadness each day you can move forward or back... it ever changing, but i hope you find peace I'll be praying for you :)

Good luck if you need to talk just type away

If you can't name some triggering event in your life, something that freaked you out, made you feel vulnerable, shocked you - then I'd go google the interactions of your medications and if that's an issue?

also diet, and sleep.

Taking time off work sounds fantastic. Do you think you can get 2 - 4 weeks? Enough to settle you down. You've had a hectic time. :)

I 'm new to this website. I hope that you are feeling better. There is a group called Recovery International. You can google it. There are meetings you can attend. Or chat online. Developed by dr Lowe for nervous patients. Gives you tools to cope with nervous symptoms. Has saved my life! Try it,

I think it's important to add too: you can't be in an anxiety attack indefinitely. You think you can, you feel you can. When you're in it you can't imagine a world where it's not happening.

But it cycles down to die. Like a wind-up watch, it slowly runs out of power. Your job is to accept the process, and let it run out of power. Don't believe everything your head is telling you. also I don't think getting yourself addicted to psychoactive drugs is a good response to an anxiety episode. Don't go backwards. Take a couple of weeks off for the 'flu' or something - stay in bed, and let your body calm down naturally.

JMHO of course. :D

Sorry that you're feeling this way Hun. I can relate to all your "what ifs" and have dealt with a feeling of constant anxiety for weeks now after being much better for years. I'm So worried I won't be able to pull myself out of it again and scared to take meds but may have to. I've been journaling trying to do as the others say and put a positive spin on all the what ifs. Wish I knew how to make you feel better instantly but you're not alone . One thing that helped me recover last time is the book "a life at last" by Paul David. He has a helpful blog u can read also. I've also been trying to learn the EFT technique. Look it up on YouTube. Seems a bit weird but do feel that I may feel better after it. When I had anxiety years ago I came across an old lady who used to be a psychologist and she would see me for free and do this for me and others as she felt in her years of psychology this helped people so much. It's easy to learn, good luck