Sorry to hear this and thanks for sharing...when I'm in a similar condition, I try to do one helpful thing at a time. This gets the momentum going in the right direct. Things I like to do include walks, being in nature, talking on this site, and mindfulness.

What have you done in the past that has helped? (It's often hard to remember what's worked in the past, because the present can feel so hard, but looking back like this can often be good.)

Please keep us up to date on how you're doing!

allgoodman: I've been trying to stay on this site when I'm really out of it because the support I get is almost instant and keeps me grounded. I was actually thinking about investing in a Service Dog to perform DPT when my breathing gets out of control and to prevent self harming behaviors (I'm borderline Autistic and frequently go into spells of uncontrollable self harm such as head banging and pulling my hair out). I also try to walk it off sometimes but I have a new job that's at a security desk and can't always get up and take frequent breaks. I also might not be able to have a SD at my job either since I work in a sterile environment :( It's one of the very few places I could be denied access

Hi Trichster,

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. It sounds like something I used to go through. For me, the problem was fear. It sounds simple, but fear can be aggressive, unrelenting and physically paralyzing. Today, for instance, I was climbing a log that rose to about 4 feet off the ground. I'm not afraid of heights, but all of a sudden, my legs started shaking and felt weak. I kept telling myself that I wasn't afraid, but I didn't trust myself not to fall. So I sat, a bit miffed that I had that experience. Sometimes fear keeps us out of trouble. I was by myself in the forest, and it probably wasn't the smartest idea doing that alone. Sometimes, when we face change or challenge our comfort zones, fear creeps in. When you make plans and cancel them...who are those plans with? Are they people you really want/need to be spending your time with? I used to do that too. Turns out I was just outgrowing people who I learned really weren't friends. What you're going through is normal...it isn't easy...but it is normal. It sounds like you're navigating new waters. Can you tell us more about what's going on prior to these 'attacks?'