I have extended family like this. For years I spent time with them to make my dad happy, because he wants us all to be close, but this particular side of the family is really of no use to me. They don't treat me, my mother and my brother like family so why should I waste any time on them? It just makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious and I don't need that in my life.

I've learned in life that blood is NOT thicker than water. You get to choose the people you want in your life and hopefully they are the people who make you feel loved and supported, whether they are family members or friends.

You can choose your friends, but you are stuck with the family you get. I was raised with the ideal that family stuck together. Some family members would never have had my friendship.

After being hurt, used and belittled by family members, I cut them out of my life. Dealing with them stressed me out and made me anxious. Other members tried to lay a guilt trip on me over it.

As I have said, this is a person I would never be friends with as they lied to me , intimidated and bullied me, and have used me.

Good call Terriffico. Get rid of toxic people, even if they are family members.

Congrats for recognizing this and taking decisive action! Your happiness comes first. If you find that seeing them at all causes too much tension, perhaps consider going a step further. I have had to write off pretty much everyone in my family. Life is easier without them. Also, chances are that the people you find hard to deal with have had the same affect on other people, so you have nothing to feel guilty about. It's them, not you.

Once my parents passed, I dropped contact with siblings. It was always awkward and uncomfortable. Too much drama and stressing for me. I live a much more calmer life.

My experience has made me realize that just becuz there is shared DNA does not necessarily mean I am obligated to have a relationship with them. I have friends who treat me better and love me unconditionally more so than some of my own family members.

I do not spend time or allow anyone in my life who treats me horrible, lacks respect, and only uses me (no reciprocation)......DNA or otherwise!

terrifico, so pleased you shared! Thank you! I can totally relate and understand the self-knowledge you gained, to say the least. Two years ago I had two major triggers associated with PTSD around my siblings and their families, the first time in the summer and then during Christmas dinner the second time that same year. It hasn't been the same around them since, as last summer and at Christmas I returned home very upset, and knew this year I would have to distanced myself from them now, and that's okay! I know a lot of my triggers are related to childhood and take me back to feeling the emotions of an abused child, however, I also learned I can go back to any age emotionally and relive a trauma.

I'm without support from anyone, though I do so much better on my own then with anybody. People, Places and Things easily stress me out, but I've learned so much about these Anxiety Disorder and the My Healing Journey Never Ends. Wishing you and others here the same : ).

oh yes! my family is a big trigger for me too--they are all about the drama and love to fight and bicker. they lie so much no one knows when they are telling the truth any more--I moved away asap--because I knew I would never survive being around them...my brother and aunt/uncle are the only ones I can be around--but depending on their mood and my mood--because they still trigger me sometimes. I think it is great that you have set boundaries for yourself! once a therapist told me that the healthier I get -the more angry my family will be with me, because I am not playing into the role they expect of me...so every time they give you grief just know that you are getting healthier by the minute!

I can definitely relate. Having a family member that causes drama and stress for you can be overwhelming. You don't owe them anything. For me, I have decided to go no contact with them and it has helped quite a bit. It was also a huge step for me as I have trouble with letting people know how I feel. I'm happy for you and have a feeling that you will be more at peace now. :)