Sorry to hear that. Family bonds should be the strongest bonds between humans on Earth. My parents and I are tight. Then again, I never cut the cord. I am 47 and still live at home (don't laugh) lol.

I wanted to be a photographer long agon. professional photographer. My dad urged me to get my degree. I earned my BS in Industrial Technology. (Occupational Safety) To be an OSHA man at a job site. I never used the piece of paper. It looks nice hanging on the spare bed room wall.

So I had ideas of "making it big" back in the day. However it's just not practical. You either have to be very talented, and also very lucky. Yes, it may help to know the "right people".

I think the people who "make it big" in Califorina or wherever, movies films, music...etc.. have a vision and do what they do for the love of it. If other people like it, then they make it big. Dunno

Instagram, I feel he will get lost with the billions of others. Jobs are a more practical thing. Sorry that your son feels entitled. I hope they some how come back to you. Moms are important and the best.

I am qualified to address one part of this -

I live in that area of CA that I suspect he is looking to move to.... and I'm sure he won't believe me (I am born and raised here), but living in California does NOTHING to help any social media following. He can do it right where he is! So that idea of his is not even logical. He is not thinking straight at all. I don't know where you two are located, but living in "Hollywood" or one of the beach cities (where most transplants like to move to) is VERY expensive (I'm talking rent of $3000 a month for a 400 square foot broken down apartment with slum lords everywhere, only if you want a safe area). So throw this accurate and up to date information at him, see what happens, he won't make it here without a hefty hefty income that he BRINGS with him first. Also, making it here, even modestly, as an actor or musician or whatever people come here for.... it's all about the right connections. You need a darn good contact person that will set you up with the right company, the right people, the right agency..... then you pay your dues and prove yourself. Not an easy living to make here as any kind of star. There are literally MILLIONS of other people moving here with the exact same idea he has.... only to be tossed aside, can't afford rent, or our high taxes, and end up moving back to where they came from. It is VERY difficult to be discovered.

In other words.... I am trying to say don't worry about him moving to CA. Ain't gonna happen!

Personally my dream is to live in Calif. However like GirlinCalif said, that place is spendy. I do like the nature there. It's an amazing state. You have the mountains to the North, the the Desert to the South.

The one think that freaks me out is the fires. That is very scary stuff. I imagine people living in California are very intune with mother nature and what she is doing.

I visited there a few times, people drive aggressively. I am in the Chicago area...people drive like jerks here. But in California the can really drive aggressive. Long ago I had a job transporting cars cross country. I drove the actual car that was to be delivered to the company. It was a shit company, with mean people that actually yelled at me on the phone. I had to take the Greyhound bus after I dropped off a company car at a company.

Anyway, I found myself at the Hollywood bus stop. I was walking on the Hollywood stars. I stood on Andy Griffiths star. I was a little scared (and I am from Chicago). There were was one guy, flailing his arms all over the place. I am not sure what was going on with him. I was a tad concerned about my safety.

Then I walked along the star walk, saw, gallery, lambo, porsche, bum, lambo, lambo, bum. It was an interesting visit.

I liked the hills, and Hollywood sign. I was not there very long (a few hours).

I feel a person needs some sort of real talent still IMHO. But maybe not? If I was in my twenties, I would love to be in front of the cameras. Now I am bald, fat and 47, so nope. I don't even like my family taking my photos.

The fires freak me out though.

@Deckard
You know that saying, "It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there". That describes Southern California to a tee. We are a huge tourist trap, and that's great for our economy. Like you said, you were here a short while, saw some new things, and sure, that's fun.... for about a week.... But living here?? Bring lots of money! Housing prices out of this world, even rent is too much, we have one of the highest gas prices in the country, 9.5% sales tax..... And hey, I am a native, so you would think I would like it here, lol. It is rapidly declining since the 1990s, so I am not sure when you were in CA. If you are in Chicago, in the City, then you know a bit or two about living in a large city already. Except you have mass transit there, correct? Yeah, we're kind of lacking in the public transportation department. You have to drive. Everywhere. Thus the traffic we're so known for....

Fires, yes, fires everywhere.... no place in L.A. is immune. If you're not right smack dab in a fire, people literally running for their lives in the middle of the night.... you will smell smoke for weeks (no rain to clean the air) and can't open your windows at home or go outside without wearing a face mask. For weeks. We don't get rain here, so the brush is extremely dry and goes up in a split second. This is a desert, after all. Insurance companies refuse to sell fire insurance anymore, they went bankrupt from the years of fires.

If I were you, I would keep it as a "dream". :)

I have no idea where I will end up quite honestly. I feel for people in California. Those fires are scary. It would be nice if they could somehow control them.

I hope they can get those fires under control.

I think he will figure it out eventually. Some take a different schooling, as in the school of hard knocks. He could actually do what he's talking about, but he would have to work as much as a full time job or school to get anywhere with it. Which I suspect he isn't interested in putting any time in his entrepreneurial endeavor.

Gentle empathy, Kennedi. How to manage inter-generational relationships among adults remains the sorest topic in my family. Ouch upon yeowch to the toxic grouch. . . "Adult Children" still hits my senses like an oxymoron, but here we are. I was estranged from my own parents and my hubby never did get past acting like a child with his parents. Why am I surprised that the people I loved when they were young and cute are acting like middle aged brats around me these days?

Sigh. . . Is ^it^ a cultural tradition?

Dunno, but I'm coping by working on my own life and trusting other adults to do likewise, even the adults who call me, "Mom."

Have you tried directly speaking to your daughter about spending tome in the house? Direct communications are best. She may have reasons but if you don’t ask, how will you know?

Here's a different view from an older person.

Take a HUGE step back. Write out all your feelings like you have here, and continue to write them out as you process the changes and your desires.

Your children's choices belong to them. Not your problem, nor should you make it yours. It's not about what you taught them, either.

Dreams, are what we aim for. Whether they are realistic or otherwise, let them share them. If you disagree, silence is golden.

If they aim blame at you, do NOT engage in that conversation. It's NOT your problem. You are only responsible for what you say, do, and how you react.

You wanting your daughter to come inside is your feeling. How important is it going to be a long time from now to your relationship? Choose your battle wisely, because you'll be facing choices made from this decision for a LONG time to come.

When you ask your daughter, be sure you are calm, and ready to LISTEN to her words in full, and do not rush your response, Consider her perspective as a person.

Once I allowed the adult children to speak their minds openly and without judgement, we shared a whole lot that never came out earlier because of the parent-child connection. Cleared up a lot of issues in a calm and peaceful conversation.

I still get hurt feelings. I do NOT share them in the moment. I am positive and caring for them sharing their feelings.

You have to choose what works for you. Not everyone else.

Best wishes.

You are not alone in this!

Just adding my two cents on the topic of California. Since I do like the state very much.

They should go solar. I hear the electric companies are mostly to cause for those fires. From the high powered lines.

Start building solar station's, get all subdivisions off the grid. This retrofitting would also creat good jobs and careers.

I'll also admit, I am an adult child. It's one of my faults. I do admit my faults.

With your son, can you encourage him by taking an interest in the music industry? Is there a school where he can learn the technical skills that will get him into that industry? It is difficult starting out and I can understand your fears. As adults they are making their way in the world and it is difficult watching them make choices we don't agree with. As a parent it is important to provide guidance when asked but we need to also take a step back and let them make their own decisions. When it's clear the choice could be dangerous for them we need to provide guidance and help them find ways to achieve goals in another way. Many states provide great training in the industry he is interested in. Taking an interest in what interests our adult children is the greatest gift we can give them.

Thanks sooo much for this feedback. I just got back from a great Caribbean vacay. It was awesome! It gave me an opportunity to just relax and let things take it course. My son now wants to possibly join the air force. He’s interested in music as well. I think he’s trying to find his way. So illl be gentle with him and won’t push him one way or the other. I have assisted him in funding studio time so he can make some tracks, etc. and I’m also gathering info on the Air Force recruitment process. But yes I agree the best thing we can do as parents is be a support mechanism for our children. It is probably a lil scary for him to determine his path now that high school is done.

For my daughter we talk almost every day if not by phone we talk by text. She just visited and spent the night but I was out of town but at least she came in the house. Lol. And we are spending New Year’s Together. So I won’t be a stickler just because she chooses to sometimes not come inside the house. I would love to be much closer to her but by today’s standards We are close. When she really needs to talk to me about something personal she does share her feelings and thoughts with me. Perhaps I’m just over sensitive. Ugh.