Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
My twelve-year-old stepson is staying with us for the summer. It's the longest visit we've had with him. Until now, we've only had my husband's kids for short visits (he also has a stepdaughter who is almost 18). My wonderful husband is very overindulgent with the kids when they are with us, buying them everything they want and not imposing many rules or structure.
I'm slowly realizing that it is going to come down to me to keep my SS entertained, as my husband works during the day. I keep trying to suggest activities, but SS doesn't seem interested. He seems to want to stay in the house all day sleeping and playing video games, but then he complains about being bored. It's also murder to try to get him out of bed to go anywhere.
So, it's a catch 22. WIthout my husband's support, I can't be the disciplinarian and I also can't be the one to get the kid up and active. But without other outlets, I think he's going to have a pretty boring summer.
My anxiety is ratcheting up. I have control issues to begin with and I'm afraid this summer I'm just going to be steamrolled and my ss will be a little monster by the time he leaves. I have to admit, I might also be feeling a little jealous of the attention and feeling lost in the shuffle. I'm used to being the center of my husband's world when it is just the two of us. Now I feel like I'm on the margins.
Help! What should I do!?
I'm slowly realizing that it is going to come down to me to keep my SS entertained, as my husband works during the day. I keep trying to suggest activities, but SS doesn't seem interested. He seems to want to stay in the house all day sleeping and playing video games, but then he complains about being bored. It's also murder to try to get him out of bed to go anywhere.
So, it's a catch 22. WIthout my husband's support, I can't be the disciplinarian and I also can't be the one to get the kid up and active. But without other outlets, I think he's going to have a pretty boring summer.
My anxiety is ratcheting up. I have control issues to begin with and I'm afraid this summer I'm just going to be steamrolled and my ss will be a little monster by the time he leaves. I have to admit, I might also be feeling a little jealous of the attention and feeling lost in the shuffle. I'm used to being the center of my husband's world when it is just the two of us. Now I feel like I'm on the margins.
Help! What should I do!?
As for entertaining him, he is twelve. He is old enough to entertain himself to many degrees. Ask him to look at some internet searches of what to do around you and/or pamphlets etc. Hopefully you can find something interesting that you will both like. Maybe even some types of activities with other kids that meet regularly during the summer. If he refuses to do anything, then when he starts complaining about boredom simply say that you offered to do... such and such and He didn't want to. That way he knows that it is up to him to be responsible as much as you. Hopefully this will help.
*My kids like when I play the video games with them and so does my nephews who are older. If he just isn't comfortable around you yet try to engage him. He may be more agreeable if he is more comfortable. Just a suggestion since I do not know your relationship with him.,
I do get along pretty well with my stepson and I have a good idea what he likes. Don't get me wrong. He's a good kid overall, just stubborn and like most kids wants to see how much he can get away with. His dad finally laid down the law yesterday about staying up all night and trying to sleep all day. I guess he finally had enough, too! But I need to talk to him about creating a consistent set of rules.
Of course, with my anxiety, I tend to take everything on myself and blame myself if things go wrong. It's true, a twelve-year-old should be equipped to entertain themselves. (I certainly knew how to at that age). I've tried repeatedly to get him interested in activities around here. What else can I do?
I am glad that your husband put down the rules. Hopefully something will come up that ss likes to do.