Oh Boy.....I'm sure we are related!!!!!
This has been a problem in the past, but it was so exhausting to be thinking AND caring how others see or think about me. However, as I have gotten older, I care less....plus....I read something when I was in patient 22 years ago....
"The way you are now....a third of the world will love you. A third of the world will hate you, and a third of the world could care less.
YOU CHANGE AND BECOME DIFFERENT.
A third of the world will love you. A third of the world will hate you, and a third of the world could care less."

It helped me to see that not everyone will love/like me, but to just hang with those that do love and care about me.
I have found out that most ppl don't think about me at all.....especially those that I USE to give too much power to.

I have found that SOME ppl only liked me when they could get money, time, or free hair styles from me.....who needs them anyways? Right? I've dropped a lot of peeps from my life in the past few years.....tired of the drama and fake friendships. However, if you are my true friend, then I will walk through fire for you.....very loyal.

I'm trying to think....or should I say over think people and situations these days.....I'm just gettin too old...lol.
Hope you reach the point of not caring so much. I know it's hard to stop it, but when you've had enough and you learn to enjoy and love yourself....you won't care what others think about you as much....only those that care and love you just the way you are :)

I meant I'm TIRED....not TRYING.....

oh yup--I do that--when my stress/anxiety is high I get a wee bit (lol) paranoid and suspect everyone of plotting/planning/persecuting me...last yr this girl at work was giving me snotty looks for about a week and I had all manner of theories about it....I realized whilst I was talking to my friend that I sounded like a complete nut job...so I try to keep it at bay....but it still pops up....a few weeks ago I was exhausted and stressed and started in on something and my therapist said, "I know this is going to be hard to hear...but you sound like your mother....." that scared me so bad I have vowed to just let it go next time......

I like your post. Intelligent people don't look for conflict. Intelligent people look for discussions and solutions.

I despise people who thrive on conflict, even attempt to sabotage just to create conflict. Those are the sick ones in our society.

Anyone that acts like that literally proves their own stupidity.

YES! I was doing this just today when I went to get a pizza. It is crazy how automatic our minds are. I read anxiety articles and books all the time, trying to figure myself out I suppose and this is called mind reading. It is a delusion that we feel we know exactly what another person is thinking.

I usually think that people are thinking that I am stupid or annoying or a bad person. Are your thoughts usually negative like that too?

I am still trying to figure out how to handle these thoughts, besides just experiencing them and letting them fade away. I guess maybe the thought that we really are not as important as we make ourselves out to be in our minds. I do not think that in reality the whole world is thinking about us as much as we feel they are.

I have been using coping statements or balancing statements and those are so helpful. Something like:

Most people will like me and I can cope with those that don't.

Anyways, good luck and know you are not alone.


xoxoxox,
JoEtta

Thanks for your comments, everyone. It's good to know I'm not alone. MsBlank, I have noticed it has gotten better as I've gotten older, but it still happens. For example, there was a friend we had in Florida who just suddenly started to blow me off and then eventually unfriended me on FB. She wasn't someone I was really close to or even liked all that much (our husband's worked together), but I obsessed for months over why she did that. Later on I learned she was just kind of an unstable person who had done that kind of thing to other people, but I took it really personally for awhile.

I also obsess a little too much about my relationship with my stepdaughter, which I hardly have at all. She has definitely taken her mother's side in everything. We've heard from everyone in the family that her mom bad-mouths her dad nonstop. She seems to only want to hang out with her dad as long as he will buy things for her. Then she's done with him. It gives me fits of anxiety and stress, but I keep my mouth shut and just hope and pray she will warm up to me and repair her relationship with her dad eventually. She's seventeen and in the throes of all the self-absorption of that age, anyway... When I think about all of it, I realize so little of it has anything to do with me.

If a third of the world hates me, I would hate for that to include my husband's daughter. :(

JoEtta, yes, I'm totally like that. I mind-read. If someone is just kind of cold or snotty, I start thinking of all the ways they could be judging me and then I internalize it - or I guess it just reinforces some of the negative thoughts I have about myself. I think that's a good idea, to just say to your self most people like me and i can cope with those who don't. I mean that's proven... I've made it this far in life, right?