I've been having a lot of difficult uncomfortable emotions lately and situations that have been everyday situations in the past are beginning to make me uneasy... my sister, who was given a lot more than I growing up lives in a big house, has three beautiful healthy kids, expensive things, basically the "perfect" life. I'm on the verge of poverty. She was given a college education my parents couldn't afford for me, so now I still don't have a degree, swimming in student loan debts, shitty job with no benefits... I just see no way out. I nanny for a few families on the side for extra money in the wealthy neighborhood my sister lives in and lately I've noticed my tolerance for the kids just being kids, talking back, loud, bossy, etc has made me on edge. I don't know if its a combination of numerous current stressors including a boyfriend I barely see anymore, or a job were I feel like my best doesn't matter, but the fact these kids are given everything they want and still cry or complain or have the nerve to talk back to me really ticks me off. I am at my most emotional time of the month, and have a ton going on but now I don't even want to nanny because I'm afraid I'm taking out repressed childhood anger out on these spoiled kids. And my crappy boyfriend is out with his brother and random friend drinking while I'm home alone again after Long day at work watching movie and writing this. Depressing.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...