I've been having a lot of difficult uncomfortable emotions lately and situations that have been everyday situations in the past are beginning to make me uneasy... my sister, who was given a lot more than I growing up lives in a big house, has three beautiful healthy kids, expensive things, basically the "perfect" life. I'm on the verge of poverty. She was given a college education my parents couldn't afford for me, so now I still don't have a degree, swimming in student loan debts, shitty job with no benefits... I just see no way out. I nanny for a few families on the side for extra money in the wealthy neighborhood my sister lives in and lately I've noticed my tolerance for the kids just being kids, talking back, loud, bossy, etc has made me on edge. I don't know if its a combination of numerous current stressors including a boyfriend I barely see anymore, or a job were I feel like my best doesn't matter, but the fact these kids are given everything they want and still cry or complain or have the nerve to talk back to me really ticks me off. I am at my most emotional time of the month, and have a ton going on but now I don't even want to nanny because I'm afraid I'm taking out repressed childhood anger out on these spoiled kids. And my crappy boyfriend is out with his brother and random friend drinking while I'm home alone again after Long day at work watching movie and writing this. Depressing.