Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Rexy 02/05/2017

It feels like a light has been switched off inside me. I miss the girl that was so happy all the time - now I am just filled with sadness, thoughts that make no sense or have not truth and anxiety than stresses me out and makes me have panic attacks and cry for hours on end.

This is has got increasingly bad over the last couple of weeks but has been slowely getting worse since Octover2016 when my boyfriend and I realised we didn't have a same view on kids and needed to break up.

My grief started from that day - I could just cry at the drop of a hat with the thought we wouldn't have to give up on our love soon. We decided to stay together for a little while longer while we sort a house for each other to move into and then transition out from there. We are in love and although we see the stress it has put in us mentally, I don't regret it.

I didn't think anything would get to this - for the most part, I have still maintained some happyness but Also such deep sadness. It consumes me.

Over last few weeks the anixiety I have had for a while has just jumped up a notch - small thoughts and insecurities will race through my mind until I'm finding it hard to breath or crying my eyes out. I try tell myself it's not really the way I am thinking but then I'm like, well what if it is. Doesn't he really love you, did he really like that food he just said he liked, was he really annoyed when you spilt that pasta on the floor, was dinner too cold.... all stuff I think now and don't believe it's true (although now I'm rethinking it again) - he is the most loving and supportive boyfriend I have ever had and it all isn't true, I'm sure of it. it so stressful and it becomes an unbearable feeling. I end up feeling so alone because who do I tell- I don't want to worry my parents anymore and my boyfriend has seen me upset so much I'm starting to think he will be happier once I am gone because I'm not even the same girl anymore. I have been replaced with a weak, crying, crazy girl who can't deal with the smallest criticism.

Yesterday wasn't a good day - has a few panic attacks that I kept secret. And another one that my boyfriend helped me through. I tried to explain the feelings and why they happen but it just sounds so stupid. I mentioned about the thought he would be happy without me and he said that was an awful thing to say. He will always love me and miss me :) I need to remember that.

Today I feel sad and just drained and like nothing - I miss my happy self and don't know what to do..

i booked in with a counsellor and she upset me on my second session so booking in with a new lady soon.

i need to get a handle on this... I can't be this person anymore..

cachetteen1 02/06/2017

I think its perfectly understandable why u r upset all the time, going through a break up/ is like mourning the loss of a living thing, because it is/was. So its natural to want to fix it or figure it out or drive yourself crazy- because u are defining how u feel, based on what u perceive he thinks or feels about u, so u will never have certainty- a foundation that u need, and u only get that when u take your power out of his hands and back in your own. Think back to when u were happier, what was the difference between then and now? u had a belief. And that belief has just been taken away from u, so now u don't trust what u want to believe or don't believe, this is a temporary transitional phase- this does not have to be permanent, u can be happy again. Its smart that u are going to therapy and they can help give u some coping skills or better ways of adjusting then I can..Im just speaking rom my own personal experience. I wish u happiness

Rexy 02/06/2017

Thanks for your advice - Really helpful! :) I'm looking forward to getting more clarity on my feelings and more coping mechanisms - it's so hard having a physical feeling that you want to stop and can't. Thanks for your support :)

SBMutz 02/09/2017

Hi Rexy, My heart goes out to you! Reading your post reminded me of own breakup that made me so physically sick I couldn’t do much of anything for weeks. It was one of the hardest seasons of my life. I’m not sure if I misunderstood or what but it sounds like you and your boyfriend are still currently together is that right? From what you wrote it sounds like the two of you really care for one another. I hope the new lady you plan on meeting with works out. It sounds like if you had someone to help you process and work through everything you’re feeling you might be able to find some clarity.

Rexy 02/09/2017

Hi BBMutz, Yes we are still together! Its very hard for us to make the final decision to go our seperate ways because we love each other and have setup a little life together - but its eating us alive a little. Will come to a head soon so working on preparing myself for that - Anxiety has been awful with all the stress so going on anti-depressants to try and manage everything, have a new appointment with a counsellor, and trying to be positive, which is quite hard.

I know what you mean about breakups - I have been through a rough one after a 10 year relationship and it took me ages to bounce back. That pain was so intense and i sometimes feel it now when i think about the up and coming break up. This one feels different because i will still be in love - so hard! But like anything, it takes time, just that pain of heart break.......There is nothing like it. :(

Thanks for your support. xx

ellomalley 02/18/2017

You are not alone. Breakups are hard. I have recently had one and it's so hard not to get past the pain, heartache, and thoughts that come with it. I miss my happy self too and get upset that I'm not feeling that way right now. But i know that I have also been thru breakups before and I know I can do it again.

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