No...you do not have to be alone!!! It may be more difficult to find someone who can put up with all that comes along with our wonderful disorder, and even when you find that person, he may still have his days where it is hard for him to deal with it!! I have the best and most supportive man when it comes to my attacks, but there are times where he gets frustrated with them, and has indeed said some things that have hurt me because of it.

Panic and anxiety aren't easy on us...and it isn't easy on those that love us!

That is for sure! I do not choose to have this disorder and I do get hurt when I feel I can not have understanding from the man who I am in a relationship with. It's so painful sometimes. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone, I know he loves me but there are those times where he can not be helpful to my anxiety.

Your not alone and also I suffer from the same as you just hard to always talk about it when it hits me bad. On here its easy to talk about it in person with people nope so now staying on here getting it all out! And it's working for once!

Hugsss!

You shouldn't give up and no one should ever be alone. I for one thought I was alone, until I met someone who had the same anxiety for me. Though I have it a lil more worse then he does. Most of us been through it all of feeling helpless.

Though, what I think you should try do since it worked for me and hopefully for you too. Is to keep on going and develop a plan of what you want him to do when you do go through the attacks. Do you want him to be there for you? Since, going through the attack your mind goes places and you cant hear whats going on at times by what people tell you. So you can have him just there, if it what makes you feel better. What do you want him to do after the anxiety attacks. Have a plan, to try things out of what makes you get through it and also minimizing your attacks can also help. Questions to consider.

I talked with my man, about it of what to expect and what you do not want him to do for each other. It worked for me since, I told him I want him to be there as I am for him. He supportive by giving me what I need to get through it. As I do for him like giving water after the attack since it can be dehydrating and cooling off with cold water helps.

Relationships, can sometimes have rough journeys but you and your man can do it together. It may be hard at times, though both can do it. Just have to come over that obstacle and get through it. Be there for each other, and fight the anxiety along the way. I know its hard, but please do not give up.

Hope this helps,
Hugs*

No! Do not give up. My husband married me knowing I had severe anxiety and always told me he could see the real me. There are great men out there!

I have the same kind of issues with my relationship and it does suffer sometimes and I know it's been a challenge for her! I go through all the same feelings you do and I ask myself all kinds of questions and think all kinds of scenerios and work myself up in to a heck of a state until I'm worn out. Nope you are not alone and I think the old saying"Take one day at a time" is something we both should say over and over and over and realize theres nothing we can do about tomorrow and live today and be happy with each moment. Trying to learn how to do this myself! Good luck!

Of course anxiety can ruin relationships. It depends on two things, I think, one being the strength of your relationship. If there is real love going on, I would think that compassion would play into a relationship and actually strengthen it. Secondly, a lot depends on you alone and has to do with understanding where your relationship fits in your 'environmental consciousness':

We have in this life, environment we experience (distant), environment we interact with (close), dynamic environment (family and lovers), and critical environment (our inner space). We often allow our "dynamic" environment into our "critical" environment and we do so with love for family and/or our intimate partners. But when our "dynamic" becomes an unwelcome intrusion into our "critical", it is there where we must draw the line for our own well-being and for the benefit of the intruders. If situations with our "dynamic" get too dramatic and intense, it would help to imagine that you are watching the situation on TV. In this way you distance yourself enough that you are able to be more objective and less emotional (and vulnerable) to the actions of those closest to you. And remember that the problem isn't yours, it is their's. It doesn't become your problem until you allow it into your critical environment which robs you of your own peace of mind.

Sometimes we allow our "close" environment such as friends and co-workers, bosses, etc, into our "critical" environment. This not advisable. Close friends and all others in our "close" environment need to stay "close". You cannot be a good friend or empoyee or anything else if you allow those close to you to enter even into the "dynamic" sphere and certainly not into the "critical" realm. If you allow "close" environment into your "dynamic" environment you allow an intrusion into the lives of those in your family and partner who make up your "dynamic" environment which is not fair to your family and/or your partner.

Finally, sometimes we allow "distant" environment into our "critical" environment. This is one definition of mental illness. An example of this might be watching our favorite football team lose the Superbowl. If we allow our excitement and our subsequent disappointment to completely ruin our day and change our mood from cheering to gloom and depression, we are caught in an unhealthy trap and become anxious. Our "distant" environment has no place in our "critical" and we have a responsibility to our own mental health to keep all of our environments in their proper place. Keeping all your relationships in their proper environment protects you and keeps your perspective of all environments objective. This is a good way to keep your relationships in their proper perspective. This is what YOU can do to keep good relationships good. The rest is up to all those in your outer environments.

Well my anxiety, and OCD split my marriage. I have since reunited with my ex husband, but we did split up and even got a divorce.
He just didn't know how to help me. He kept telling me "to go see a doctor" which I eventually did. This wasn't enough for me though. I felt that he should have been there for me more. That he should have just listened more. Looking back I realise that it would have been extremely difficult for him to have to put up with me almost constantly going on about my problems. My mood swings were also shocking. This was before my medication. I take Lexapro and that has been an enormous help to me though I still have my bad days.

Don't give up on your relationship. Perhaps you can both go to counselling together so he can learn and understand more of what it is you actually have to deal with. On the other hand you will gain more of an insight into what he has to deal with too. It can't be easy dealing with people like us after all can it?
The fact that this guy is still around after years of being off and on with you means something. I think he does love you and the relationship is worth fighting for. Take care..xx

thanks for all the input! My relationship is difficult and often causes my anxiety to get out of control and my ex would get angry instead of having any sort of empathy or showing me any compassion his actions which usually included cutting me off emotionally and physically caused my anxiety to worsen to the point where I couldn't take it. That is why we broke up because I felt his responses were emotionally abusive and not at all helpful. I haven't given up but maybe he will never have any understanding for my disorders which include bi-polar and depression, along with anxiety. I find I have a lot less anxiety when we are not together. I have told him the problem upteen times, I can't count how many times. He says I am using it as an excuse for my behavior which really says to me he totally does not grasp the disorders because they are not physical ones!

No need to give up on relationships. It sounds hard, what you're going through. I have Social Phobia, depression, gad and AVPD. Plus I have a boyfriend who has panic attacks about 2 to 4 times a year. I am always ruminating, worrying and getting all tensed up because of my anxiety and wondering if my bf will leave me because of my anxiety and fears. Plus I am 9 years older than him so I am always worrying if he'll want someone else prettier and younger. That's our problem! People with anxiety problems tend to worry and catastraphrise about everything and it is no fun. We just need to try as hard as we can to help ourselves and each other.

I usually get anxiety if I bring up something that I feel hurt about and he won't acknoledge my feelings or validate them at all in fact he gets angry and says I shouldn't feel that way and that it's not the way I think it is. I think my anxiety is coming from him and the way he treats me when I have a concern or one of his family members (grown kids, x-wife) messes with me and i tell him I don't like what they did or said to me or about me. He will never defend me. For example, I found out from his 5 year old grandson who likes me very much that his X-wife (common knowledge to all his kids and grandkids) calls me He Man. So I told my BF did you hear what your grandson said to me about your x? she calls me He Man. He does not reply at all. I feel hurt and I told him you know I never say anything about her around or to the kids and I feel it is wrong. He says nothing to me. I feel like I am talking to a wall. Not until we had this two day drawn out bullcrap about it did he say it is wrong for her to do that. If he could just say something up front and admit she does things like this that are wrong but it is so hard for him to acknowledge my feelings and to me it seems more like he is acknowledging hers! That is why I get the anxiety so bad. It is like that for any problem or issue that comes up. I don't believe it is my disorder I believe he tries to make it my fault. He even says I am the one making it a big deal when I should just ignore it. I feel like what he is saying is I should take all the crap like I deserve it and shut up because he doensn't care.