Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Dealing with a person that won't get help.

VERDELLA91
VERDELLA91

Hi all, I'm on anti depressants for the past several years. I come from a family history of people that take the same kinds of meds.  I had to teach myself not to sweat the small stuff and accept what I can not control. On the other hand, my husband has anxiety, I believe. He sweats everything!  He wants me to get off my meds cause I am  "numbed out."  He takes Xanax, which I feel, does nothing for him.  He talks a lot while I just listen. I guess I AM numb to a certain degree, but I don't think I can handle him if I wasnt!  I NEVER get to voice my opinions on anything and I'm tired of bottling them all up! 

scarysanity
scarysanity
Hi Verdella. It's definitely hard to live with someone who does all of the talking. I know. My husband is similar. He's got anxiety too but is only on BuSpar for it. It seems to help, but he still doesn't let me get a word in edgewise. I feel you could be numb from not getting to talk and always having to listen. It might not be your meds at all!

I wish you all the best!
bridgie101
bridgie101
I recomend making the effort to acknowledge him when he speaks. He's probably lonely, and misses you. When people talk and get no real response they often keep talking in the hope they will come across. So basically no response means you train him to talk more.

If you want him to talk less, you have to engage more. And certainly demand to be heard when you speak. :)
djchurn
djchurn
"Don't sweat the petty stuff, don't pet the sweaty stuff" - Geo. Carlin
Some humor helps, always
Your lack of communication with your mate is not uncommon. I was married 21 years and am now divorced 21 years. Toward the end of our marriage I was not communicating and she left me. I am not advocating you break up but will recommend that you both work on "listening". Now at 65 and as a volunteer I visit infirmed patients in their rooms twice weekly. After 4 years I have become better at doing this and it is all because I have and continue to learn how to listen. Release yourself from the standard responses to what you here and only talk to what you hear. For me this is transformative and makes the difference between a good visit and a so-so one. I feel a communion of spirit when I do this well. Just sayin'.
VERDELLA91
VERDELLA91
Good points! Thanks for the input.
angelheart077
angelheart077
It is hard to always be expected to listen and not be allowed to speak. Everyone wants their voice and opinions heard and be able to share them in the safe confines of our homes and marriages. What others have suggested as far as trying to change your standard responses or "tuning out" if you will might accomplish more. Or is he perhaps open to a counseling session where each person learns how to really listen and allows the other a chance to be heard. I applaud you're reaching out and being willing to try and find something that will hep you both continue to grow. Keep looking for answers. I'll be praying for y'all.