You aren't being punished for anything. It doesn't work like that. :) However, we do punish ourselves, and perhaps that's what's going on. If you keep thinking about all that's going on you are going to continue to put undue pressure on yourself. Pick 1 or 2 things each day that you truly have control over and deal with them. Just get through each day without trying to think too much about tomorrow. It can be too overwhelming. We need to slow ourselves down, slow our minds down. Don't be afraid to call your counselor, that's what they are there for. It's not a sign of weakness - it takes a strong person to admit they need help with something. Trust me, because I don't feel weak and I have to ask for help sometimes. :)

You should talk to your counselor.

Just remember, all the things you are concerned with and anxious about right now ($, test results, etc.) do not have quick fixes.

These are things that take time, well, the money situation anyway.

I know exactly how you feel with waiting for test results...recently I had a CT scan on a cyst on my right ovary. It is not a normal cyst and they wanted to check it out.

By accident, something else showed up...a 5 cm tumor inside my right pelvic bone. I have had 2 MRI's only to find out that it is benign (thank God), but that waiting period to get those results back was pure torture...

I hoped for the best and prepared for the worst, because that's all you can do. When will you get your results back by the way?

i hope to here in a day or two about the tests. i called my counsoler and she may be to busy to see me. have not seen her for 6 mos. she may be to full.

Is there anyone you can call to help talk you through this lazer? Sometimes we just need that extra push to get us out of the "funk" we are feeling.

Can you maybe plan some activities with your wife or kids? You know, something to take your mind off of things and keep you distracted?

When will you know if your counselor is available or not?

Hang in there. The growth could be PKD. It might not be anything to overconcern yourself. You need to keep busy with yourself even take a walk around the block. Sitting and thinking all the time is just going to fester.

WHAT IS PKD?
HAVE NOT HEARD BACK FROM COUNSOLER.

Hi Lazer, Hope by now you heard from your councillor and don't ever feel like she may be too busy to talk to you. Remember youre a very important person too and God loves you very much as well as he does me. Try to think the positivly and say to yourself I know my results are going to come back ok because what we focus on we attrack so make it good. Have you read the book " The secret". Awesome stuff to make us think about and it just shows us how many wasted hours we use up thinking about things that never happen and if it does worrying can't change it. I know whay youre saying man I'm not cured myself yet but I'm looking forward to the day that I'm going to be delivered from this hell of anxiety. Hang in there bud, we're pulling for you, you can do it!!!!