Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I do not think it is possible for me to deal with my panic disorder and extreme anxiety anymore. I just do not have the strength to handle all this pain. I think I am delusional. I know I sound so crazy. But I am afraid to go out in public because I think I will faint or die or embarrass myself. I also frequently fear that someone will get me in trouble for feeling sick or out of it in public. I frequently feel very out of it and surreal. I understand that this is a delusional thought but I can't understand why people are allowed to do whatever they want in life - that there is no higher force or power that dictates everything they do. I just cannot believe that the world is the way it is. I see things differently. I know for a fact that I'm fxcked up because of this and it's the most depressing and painful thing ever to know that you are mentally delusional. I am afraid that this nonexistant force will punish me or get me in trouble for living, or for being as out of it as I am. I also think this is PTSD from the panic attacks I used to get from smoking marijuana and fearing that everyone would know I was so "out of it" and would get in trouble by someone higher than me, at the time my parents. Bottom line, I can't go to a single place without being worried sick about being in public and when I'm at home I'm constantly tortured with anxiety and horrible, untrue thoughts. My parents are very worried about me. I'm home from winter break from university but have to move back onto campus soon and am extremely worried about it. I only want to be alone. I am only safe when I am alone. Relaxation is simply not a possibility for me. My best friend was with me out in public a few times when I had these panic attacks and now I associate her with the panic and avoid her at all costs, costing me one of my best friendships. I can't ever picture myself with a job the way I am. Anxiety rules and ruins my entire life. Taking Xanex tricks me into thinking I am high and worsens my panic disorder considerably. I'm too fearful of gaining weight, sexual side effects and acne to take the lexapro I am on. I just want to die. I can't even read over this since it's too painful to really know how crazy I am and sound. I just want my agoraphobia, derealization, panic disorder, anxiety and depression to leave me alone so I can go back to being who I used to be a few months ago. Anyone have any hope for me?
So I figure we are going through very similar things. What if I reassured you that you would never hurt your daughters, it would be the last thing on earth you'd do, you've never hurt anyone before, this belief you have is so stupid and irrational? I bet all my money that you will never harm anyone in your family!! You and them will both be just fine!!! Never in a million years would you even be a risk to harm your family. You are very kind and gentle and would never harm anyone!!!! It'll never ever happen and is ridiculous. Me as a complete stranger being able to tell you this has to mean something! :)
I believe this. I know it will be harder for you to believe it however. I know because I am the same way. If you tried to reassure me that I wouldn't get sick in public ever id have a hard time believing you but of course you'd be correct. I meant what I said above!!!! Read it over ten times and you should feel better. Hope this helps :)))
First of all, you do not sound crazy at all, none, nada, zilch! I believe most of us, have had all the thoughts and ideas you are sharing. It's actually quite brave of you to spill it all out like this. I cannot say I would've done that at such a young age.
Look honey, life at your age can be scary, tough, demanding. It's no wonder your on emotional overload.
I personally do not believe in a higher power, nor any type of rewards or punishments! I hate that you feel that some unseen being is going to punish you. I wonder if it's just you being extremely hard on you.
I have tons and tons of hope for you. You were wise enough to find this site, and then brave enough to share. That is an excellent start!
Keep reading and posting here. It really helps.