Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Does anyone have anxiety linked with shame over how they reacted in certain situations?
I'm 1 1/2 months post-breakup and I still get anxiety every day. It's mostly related to the way I handled the breakup. Things online trigger me - especially posts or "how-to-get-over-a-breakup" articles - because they say what you shouldn't do after a breakup and it's stuff I did. Never anything too crazy, just being over-emotional to my ex, begging, sending stupidly emotional emails. Looking back, I have no clue who I was for that month. I feel like it wasn't even me who acted that way because it was so out of character. It was a shock to my system because so suddenly I lost my long term bf, job, and had to move out of my apartment...and it really messed up my brain.
I know it doesn't matter anymore...I went NC, then my ex still apologized, spilled out his regrets, and said he could never see me in a bad light. I'm sure he's way more focused on how he screwed up our lives than how I reacted. Yet I still get severely ashamed and it makes me so sick I can't even eat. The anxiety comes from worrying that if I had reacted differently, the outcome would have been better. "If only I had given him space to cool down, he might have wanted to get back together" is a common thought.
I don't know how to shake the shame in order to shake the anxiety. It's destroying my life and my self image. I've apologized & cleared the air. I've gotten myself back to a stable mental state. I'm on anti-depressants. I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions?
I'm 1 1/2 months post-breakup and I still get anxiety every day. It's mostly related to the way I handled the breakup. Things online trigger me - especially posts or "how-to-get-over-a-breakup" articles - because they say what you shouldn't do after a breakup and it's stuff I did. Never anything too crazy, just being over-emotional to my ex, begging, sending stupidly emotional emails. Looking back, I have no clue who I was for that month. I feel like it wasn't even me who acted that way because it was so out of character. It was a shock to my system because so suddenly I lost my long term bf, job, and had to move out of my apartment...and it really messed up my brain.
I know it doesn't matter anymore...I went NC, then my ex still apologized, spilled out his regrets, and said he could never see me in a bad light. I'm sure he's way more focused on how he screwed up our lives than how I reacted. Yet I still get severely ashamed and it makes me so sick I can't even eat. The anxiety comes from worrying that if I had reacted differently, the outcome would have been better. "If only I had given him space to cool down, he might have wanted to get back together" is a common thought.
I don't know how to shake the shame in order to shake the anxiety. It's destroying my life and my self image. I've apologized & cleared the air. I've gotten myself back to a stable mental state. I'm on anti-depressants. I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions?
I think it's important to realize that you do not ever need to explain yourself to anyone. Choose who to confide in. Forgive yourself. You did the best you could at the time with what you have. Today, you are a different person and you clearly are honest with yourself. Be good to yourself and stop worrying over your mistakes.
...especially if you know you have the strength now to never repeat the same mistakes again...