Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
First thing first, I am grateful that sites such as this exist and good people are out there. I need to vent a bit this morning.
This week I became "old". I'm only going to be 65 this year but I have come to realize the physical and financial difficulties that come with age. Fixed income with pressures about housing, transportation, food and medical expenses has become more of a challenge. Had to replace my non-repairable 15 YO car with one that will last another 15 years. I have buyers anxiety over the fact that I will be paying on it. Food cost has become an issue in assuring I can make the payments. I tried to go without a car but the pain in my feet from chemo 35 years ago is a pain that I no longer deal with. I also live where winters are real and have a hard time with feeling isolated. My diabetes has become such that I needed 2 types of insulin. Good news though, eating less is one of the better ways of controlling blood sugar. Doing well on the AD meds front too. I have gone back to one that was expensive 35 years ago and is now free with Medicare. Elder loneliness is has become real to me too. Dealing with that, I volunteer at a local hospital to talk to ICU step down patients.
Still the anxiety/depression remains and i trudge on. Have become a fan of the Library as it is free. Reading gives me a vacation from my emotions and borrowing DVDs partially solves the problem of lonely evenings.
I realize that I have not mentioned family yet. My ex of 20 YA could not have children. Some things were just not "in the cards" for my life. Still I am alive and have recently believe in the strategy "if someone does not have a smile, give 'em one of yours". People will never see or know your (my) pain so why not be positive. It is not easy being positive when anxiety is eating away at you inside but I have come to look at people who smile back at me as the currency of daily life that will get me through till tomorrow.
If you have gotten this far, thanks for reading, comment and send me a hug.
Thank you.
I have downsized to nearly nothing, with myself, my son and my daughter living in a tiny flat at one point that was only about 480 square feet, and a good quarter of that was stairwell to the upstsairs. My kids are rather large teenagers so that was hard work, but I loved the little 4 yards square kitchen, who knew you could get a kitchen that small to pack that much of a punch? I could store anything in there!
I have moved on from there though, and have a back yard big enough for a vege garden. Have been looking at how to get fruit trees into it and have found out about a thing called 'cordonning' - it's really stunting a tree but you can plant them 1 metre apart on angles and make living walls of fruit out of them that are easy to pick!
I accept the challenge of poverty. I see it as a kind of minimalism, the kind Thoureau would approve of. As an environmentalist I like to make no waste; and that means going back to simple ingredients and growing my garden. Chickens are a favourite, turning wasted veges into eggs and compost; and there are a lot of nice egg meals you can have, especially now that cholesterol isn't bad for you any more.
I really admire your way of going to the hospital to volunteer. I think that's the right thing to do and I hope you take pride in the fact that you are refusing to let life bow you. You're courageous and I really like it.