Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I always attempt to visualize everything I want to say and ask before I start writing, but my mind usually goes blank the moment my fingers touch my keyboard, so bear with me.
I would really like to know where you stand on letting other people touch you. Regardless of how or whom, does it make you feel uncomfortable?
I've grown up in a family where physical contact just didnt happen very often. Affection was very much spread vocally rather than physically. I also have claustrophobia, but I don't think that either is where this developed from.
I never really thought about it as often as I have up until earlier this year, but I've really begun to realize just how anxious it makes me. I've had anxiety since my late teens but as far as I can recall the aversion to being touched only developed about two years ago.
It may seem as harmless as a light touch but it brings on this unsettling feeling which lasts for quite some time afterwards. Someone might shake my hand and I'm left rubbing my hands on my clothing trying to get rid of this feeling. The feeling itself is a bit difficult to describe. It's like feeling panicked and restricted, with an unsettling crawly feeling under my skin. I'll tense up at the touch, and I feel as though something is squeezing or crawling under the skin me in that one spot long after they've let go.
How uncomfortable I become seems to vary from person to person. I've noticed that I'm more uncomfortable around men, but either gender doesn't matter. It still leaves that feeling all the same. Subconsciously, I usually stand just apart from others so that I'm obviously included in what's going on but far enough no one might brush against me. I'll always choose the single seat rather than a couch, sitting more comfortably with my legs pulled up to my chest, hugging my knees.
The less familiar I am with the person in my personal bubble does make a difference, but there are people I've known for years who I'll still avoid physical contact with.
These are people I've been friends with for years, or who my mum has known for most of her life. Family members. People I love dearly. I can't hug my mum without arching my back, or shifting backwards. If I catch it in time, I'll just try to stand still for a couple of seconds and then step away as soon as I can. I'll hug my sister from time to time, I don't mind that as much. Hugging my brother feels obligatory and stiff. I have another friend who is very affectionate. She loves to tell you how much she loves you, hugs you, and I adore that about her. I still get that crawly unsettled feeling, but I think it's because of her charming personality I find myself at least trying to ignore that feeling, and do it for her. And it upsets me that despite how much I care about these people, I still don't want any of them to touch me.
I've tried to ignore it, I'll shake someones hand and I'll try not to shrink away at subtle touches but it hasn't been one of those things that gets easier the more you do it. This is the first time I've ever admitted this, and I really just want to know if there are any other people in this group who get that same feeling as I do.
Be well,
Amy
I would really like to know where you stand on letting other people touch you. Regardless of how or whom, does it make you feel uncomfortable?
I've grown up in a family where physical contact just didnt happen very often. Affection was very much spread vocally rather than physically. I also have claustrophobia, but I don't think that either is where this developed from.
I never really thought about it as often as I have up until earlier this year, but I've really begun to realize just how anxious it makes me. I've had anxiety since my late teens but as far as I can recall the aversion to being touched only developed about two years ago.
It may seem as harmless as a light touch but it brings on this unsettling feeling which lasts for quite some time afterwards. Someone might shake my hand and I'm left rubbing my hands on my clothing trying to get rid of this feeling. The feeling itself is a bit difficult to describe. It's like feeling panicked and restricted, with an unsettling crawly feeling under my skin. I'll tense up at the touch, and I feel as though something is squeezing or crawling under the skin me in that one spot long after they've let go.
How uncomfortable I become seems to vary from person to person. I've noticed that I'm more uncomfortable around men, but either gender doesn't matter. It still leaves that feeling all the same. Subconsciously, I usually stand just apart from others so that I'm obviously included in what's going on but far enough no one might brush against me. I'll always choose the single seat rather than a couch, sitting more comfortably with my legs pulled up to my chest, hugging my knees.
The less familiar I am with the person in my personal bubble does make a difference, but there are people I've known for years who I'll still avoid physical contact with.
These are people I've been friends with for years, or who my mum has known for most of her life. Family members. People I love dearly. I can't hug my mum without arching my back, or shifting backwards. If I catch it in time, I'll just try to stand still for a couple of seconds and then step away as soon as I can. I'll hug my sister from time to time, I don't mind that as much. Hugging my brother feels obligatory and stiff. I have another friend who is very affectionate. She loves to tell you how much she loves you, hugs you, and I adore that about her. I still get that crawly unsettled feeling, but I think it's because of her charming personality I find myself at least trying to ignore that feeling, and do it for her. And it upsets me that despite how much I care about these people, I still don't want any of them to touch me.
I've tried to ignore it, I'll shake someones hand and I'll try not to shrink away at subtle touches but it hasn't been one of those things that gets easier the more you do it. This is the first time I've ever admitted this, and I really just want to know if there are any other people in this group who get that same feeling as I do.
Be well,
Amy
I fake it though. If i see somebody I haven't seen in a while, I will hug them but in my mind I am thinking "Get off me!" lol. I just like my space. I have a lot of psychological reasons that are behind my not liking to be touched, but I think the most basic one is that I just don't like it. I am very sensitive...it feels very intrusive...i feel like my body is my own and I don't want people to be that close to me. Especially if I don't know them.
I'm certainly with you there. I tell close ones that although I'm not one to show affection in a physical manner, I do try to be sure to express it in small, subtle gestures, like buying my mum chocolate (her guilty pleasure), or getting my sister something she needs for my niece. I'll buy cheap wine for friends. That sort of thing.
Do you let people know that you don't like being touched? If you do, how do you go about it? As in a blunt honest manner or polite?
What I don't like is being hugged by someone I just met. it's so weird that some people do that.
That sound hard. It must be based on something very deep-rooted. Perhaps something to bring up in therapy if you have a therapist.
Monael, that's a good way of putting it! It does feels like something unwelcome was left behind. I definitely don't like how it must make me sound, because it has nothing do with my opinion of the person personally, but yeah, skin to skin contact makes my skin crawl. Like I'd mentioned earlier I can absolutely love the person. It makes little difference.
it isn't an easy thing to deal with, no. I'm organising a therapist, but it's also nice being able to discuss it with people who are there themselves too. I really appreciate everyone's replies. Thank you! :)