God bless you. This sounds like the perfect thing to bring
to a therapist with your husband and then come back here to report. I don 't want to put you off. And there are many wonderful people
here. It's just that, in our circle, what you're saying is very common...but, it's better if you go and travel. I hope some of the other people on the board will chime in because I feel inadequate. Peace.

Back when I first was put in the position of needing to relocate for work, I never drove farther than an hour away from home, with bruises on my arm and thinking I was pregnant (bad ex boyfriend), knowing I had very little support at home I went to the computer, I was able to land 2 jobs in WI before I left home, I had one hell of a good friend who was my moral support but I was all by myself. I totally do not know how I gathered the strength to leave wv but I did, as of May 19th that was 14 yrs ago. A lot has happened since then but you will be surprised what strength you have in you. I definitely do not disagree with the therapist concept, I have only used support groups ds over the years but talking to someone and setting goals is always a good start.

Jen,

This sounds almost like what my mom is going through. Since 2010, when my mom was diagnosed with leukemia (now she is told that she does not have cancer, it is an autoimmune disorder), mom had been very depressed and suffer with anxiety. I've seen her have it since I was a kid but not this extreme. What made mom even more depressed was how the doctor came into the room and told her that she has cancer (she asked him where and he said "I don't know but I'm willing to give you medication for it). When mom was told that, it seem like she became upset about it, and just wanted to give up on life plus there were other issues that came along, like family issues and the death of two neighbors. The prime doctor we used to have told my mom that she won't make it to the age of 80 years old (she is now in her late seventies). The Christmas of 2010 was awful, there was no smiles, or pictures taken of ourselves with our presants.

Jen, I learned what depression and anxiety can do to one's body. When some else said to me during the 1990s that stress can really kill a person and make them sick, I did not take it serious but now I believe them and I know that it wasn't just a saying, it's doggone truth. I believe that the extreme stress my mom had been under had really made her immune system surpressed, at first doctors did not believe her but I had to speak up and discuss myself.

Dang it hurts so bad!

You are not alone. I have always had anxiety but it got so much worse after I had complications from surgery and almost died. Now I feel like I can drop dead at any moment and panic at every body sensation that I perceive as not normal. I can travel a little bit but I do think about if there are hospitals or doctors I can get to. :/

We do need to keep trying. Life is too short. I decided I don't want to be a prisoner of this malady, and it sounds like you don't either.