Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hi, curious to know if any of you are experiencing the same kind of anxiety as I...
I have fully grasped that if we live, everyone will be old and likely ill in some kind of way. I have also fully grasped that in a relatively short time, considering that the universe is billions of years old, death for us all is right around the corner, that we truly are here for only a brief amount of time. I tend to think that most everyone only abstractly views their death because fully graspiing that you will one day be in a coffin and food for the insects no matter how well sealed the coffin is the Reality of life. That means, one's children even, parents. friends are all going to die and their bodies a corpse and food for the insects. In a relatively short amount of time. And in, say a 100 years, no one is going to know who you were. Yeah, they might know your name found in a census record but no one is going to Know you, you the person, and more than likely they won't care just as we don't really care about the people we find in a census record or doing a genealogy search.
Most think I'm being morbid. Reality can be morbid and to not face and fully confront the above is living in denial to some degree.
Many will say they have fully grasped what I'm talking about t, and so, they say they just live everyday to the fullest. But have they really grasped it all?
Imo, I can see why different religions with their philosophy that life continues after the grave with a God, even angels on clouds, may be man's way of dealing with the thought that they may no longer exist, their children, parents, friends, etc. no longer exist in ANY form.
This, really looking at reality, is causing me much anxiety. Perhaps I should go on an AD which in many cases just helps us to not fully grasp reality or not just care. I want the courage, though, to accept the possibility that I will never see my children again, never see my parents again...that the possibility exists they all, and you and me, may have truly a final resting place in the grave, our dead bodies just food for the insects.
Celie878
I thought your post was very insightful. All the best to you!
I can see why religions of various kinds have developed. Many of these religions involve an afterlife, seeing ones again, etc. Everyone believes his/her religion is the "right" one...because some men said it was, that they were the ones hooked up to God and so inspired by "Him"? How nice.
Not saying that there isn't the possibility of an afterlife. Just saying that there may be no afterlife, either. After all, not a one of the billions--grasp it Billions--of people who have died have come back to tell us differently
I don't want to cling to a religion or belief system because I can't handle that mine, our kids, your life, that of your kids will be over in a brief amount of time, and the grave (and insects) is it...no afterlife, nothing. I want the courage to accept that this may be it, that this life may be it, nothing to follow.
I think most people live their lives in some kind of denial about what death may fully be, We have to or else there would be one too many suicides, little to no progress, etc. So it's probably hardwired in the human brain to have some kind of Creator and afterlife. But I think to myself, if one can take the huge, HUGE leap that God always was and is, didn't have a Creator, just was...why can't people consider that the universe always was and is...the human mind has to have a creator., it's just the way most people's brains operate.
Thanks for writing. And by the way, who said death is an adventure? Thinking so sure makes life down here on planet earth more palatable.
Celie
A possibility and a strong one at that.
Celie878
I just believe full heartedly that there is life after death. When I was little, I had a dog, Dakota, that was like a sister to me. I grew up an only child so I considered my dog a sister. When we put her down was the hardest thing ever, I cried so hard that when I calmed down I was so emotionally drained I took a nap. During this I had a dream that Dakota had come to visit me, she spoke to me and told me that it was her time to go and that everything was okay. She told me how much she loved me and to take care of mom and dad for her. I gave her a hug and a kiss then woke up. I woke up to dog hair in my mouth and under my nails. Rationally, you can say that my subconscious portrayed my grief and a gave me a way to cope in my dream but I believe that she came to visit me. For me it gave me the comfort that there is a life after death. It's okay to have faith in something so unsure.
I also don't think any one person knows exactly what death truly is. You only know when you die. I also think that people created religion to explain the things they didn't know and to take comfort that there is somethings you just can't explain.
For your point on billions of people died and haven't reported back if there is an afterlife or not, some people have. Like the boy who wrote the book "heaven is for real". Some said that they saw heaven others said they saw nothing. Who do you believe? All? None? The ones who prove you're right? Maybe Heaven is so grand that they don't want to or maybe they can't since their bodies are inhabitable. Who knows for sure, no one can scientifically say so that's where faith comes in again. I personally believe that Heaven is so wonderful that they don't want to leave and are egarly preparing for loved ones to join.
And for the quote I believe paraphrasing J.K. Rowling "Death is just life's next big adventure".
I hope I could help a bit :)
Victor, you said something about not having the luxury to think on what I posted about. Very similar to what my friend said...
Think of the woman in Africa. Her belly distended from her lack of food....that of her child even more distended. She is trying to survive and wants with all her being for that child in her arms to survive. Trust me, she doesn't have the luxury to think about the things you're thinking about so GET OVER YOURSELF.
Get Over Yourself...wasn't offended in the least. She says this to everyone, and I believe it's very profound. She has said...we humans complain about our problems, etc.--what, do we think we are special or something? We are one of Billions, one of billions, walking this planet...many of them crawling, they have no legs, many living in poverty so so heinous we can't even imagine, etc.
Yes, I know her words are profound and while wrestling with these issues troubling me so (I used to be called the secular nun because I had such great, enormous faith in a God, seeing your loved ones again...this agnostic thing came on quite suddenly, and for a person who used to have intense faith, this new road has been hell--Hell).
Trying hard to get over myself.
Thank you, Victor.
Celie
Ty for what you do for these people. I have to wonder, though, how many of these people believe that they will soon see heaven, that they serve a living God, etc.? I hope they will and do, but the strong possibility exist that we won't and don't.
Just so no one thinks I'm a slackard...
For decades I've taken care of my handicapped sibling--had an infection at birth which damaged his brain and eyes. For the last 20 years, I've been the only caregiver...have never had a vacation from it all except when I was in the hospital for the removal of a benign ovarian cyst. Before that, every kind of volunteer work you can think of....also acquired the secular nun for such things. Did them because I cared, not for faith or belief reasons. Simply because I cared and felt greatly for these, all, people.
I've heard before that the thought of us living on "forever" via molecules (matter can't be taken away, as someone once said) in spring flowers, a new star, etc. and not because we have some eternal spirit which goes on even though the "shell" has died (and rotting away literally and food for the insects :)--gives atheists and agnostics a contentment. I wish that were true for me. Not enough for me and I guess I'm having a reaction to the possibility of the latter being true. For a former secular nun (for 50 years), my reaction is a existential crisis from hell. From hell (have momentarily thought about getting priest to do an exorcism :).
Again, ty for all you do and ty for responding. I appreciate both.
Celie
Celie
mariazzzz, in a way I don't fully understand, I hate that you, too, have similar feelings. It is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...true. But comforting in the fact that you know where I'm coming from, that I'm not alone in my "existential" angst.
I know that many will often say that they have had such an existential angst but have they really? I think of the book, Denial of Death, by Ernest Becker. He says that if one really truly grasps what I'm saying the idea that life ends at the grave is so horrific that those that do grasp it must go a little mad. That's me :). I smile, but some of you know I'm not really smiling. How does one smile in hell? As I said, it has been pure hell for me. To have always been a person of great faith...I was known for saying to folks, "Look up, then within...there is much more to life than what we see or hear or feel with our eyes. Much more."
Maria, I keep reminding myself of the times when it certainly appeared "God" was around. To name only one example...only one and a "small" one at that...
The first cat I ever had was Winona. She didn't come to me until I was in my 30s. She was seven yo and belonged to a friend. I didn't want her...I was in survival mode, my mother had been killed in a car accident--driver side impact and I was in the passenger seat, she behind the wheel.
Often the very thing we think we don't need is exactly what we need. I didn't want her, didn't want a cat, but I adopted her and soon, very soon, found that for me it was so easy to see Divinity in the eyes and essence of an animal.
I could go on and on about how this cat helped me to survive a grief that knocked the breathe out of me. In fact, I called her, my Joy Girl, and as I clung to Isaiah 61:3 (this was back in the days when I believed, when I knew in my "spirit" that there was indeed a "God", that the universe was indeed founded on Love, Mercy, and Grace despite, despite, how this world may appear at times...and that these three things, in ways we don't see or understand, are reigning supreme).
Winona was seven as I said. I had her for ten years, and the day of her cremation was the exact 10th anniversary of my mother's death. How fitting I thought that this animal would return to ashes, end her mission, me, on that fateful day.
The "message" became louder when I was leaving the house to carry her body one last time, for her cremation. I opened the car door, heard a cat scream out, and there trapped in the wheel well of the car was a semi-feral kitten. I had never found a cat or kitten in my life. Never.
Ten days later after I realized I was no fun for a kitten, I found his littermate behind some unused siding.
That's Isaac and Joe-Sweetness. I call them, Winona's Gifts.
I walked away from all that thinking that "God" really does have compassion for the human heart. I believed He responds to all with this compassion....we just simply don't see it in some many cases.
That story is nothing compared to the other "divine" experiences I've had. Nothing. My life reads like a novel. Truly.
All I know is that we must hold hands, even across the internet, in our struggles. I extend my hand to you.
Are you on antidepressants? I read just last night how acetaminophen, Tylenol, has shown in the research to help with existential angst. I took two last night and coincidence or whatever I am better today. Tylenol does increase serotonin....perhaps this is the mechanism, I don't know. I will say that if I have to take ADs or tylenol to get out of this hell, I will. I am not of the agnostic or atheist mettle...different strokes for different folks and bottom line I see that it's whatever gets you through the night (life).
Email me any time. And...this is what I've been doing since all of this started....
I go to Mass (my way...other religion may be someone else's way), and I pray continually. I persevere. Also I think of what Christ said that the kingdom of God is within. Imo, that means to not look up but look within. And so, I'm looking. I'm looking hard.
All the while reminding myself constantly of what a profound universe this is. Universes composed of universes for goodness sakes, Stephen Hawkings and black holes, string theory, and on and on. So profound that the human animal mind can't even begin to grasp it. That "life" is not QVC or Hiliary Clinton, Donald Trump, etc., etc. Much more than what we can see with our eyes and feel with our hands. Much more. I'm enlarging the borders of my tent as the Scripture says...I am trying to look beyond, far beyond this earth that we humans have made such a crazy arse place.
Look beyond it all with me.
Love,
Celie
Celie
Certainly seize the day. Live now. Nobody alive in 100 years will know who you were unless you do something timeless that means they remember you. Like write a great novel.
Even so, it won't do you any good to be remembered. You're gone.
I'm thinking I want to be turned into a sapphire. They can do that you know. Make you into a synthetic jewel, and get you set in a nice ring or something. A brooch maybe.
Then you can "live" on. But otherwise i recommend living while you're alive. :)
When I think like that I look up at the sky and remind myself of...universes within universes, string theory, etc....how vast and unfathomable it all is, especially to think that the "universe", our planet, the planets, probably "aliens"/life in some universe way out there probably exists, etc. are even here (and why). I start looking at the world that way and I then see that it's the human animal--many in this species can't even balance their checkbooks, what a animal we are with our huge brain...ha!--human animal mind which only sees life and then decaying, dis-inter-grating in the ground. But when I look up and remind myself of how truly profound it all is that's when I can feel the touch of Something/Someone much larger than the oh-so-smart :) human animal. Much larger. There is I believe so much more to the story that decaying in a grave.
If that's the case, we may "live" a lot longer than we think.
Ty for responding, Bridgie. You are one of the great people in the group here. I love how we can all express our thoughts without somebody going mean and crazy on us.
Love,
Celie