Sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time. I hope this passes soon. You are not alone. What is going on in your life? Try writing about it. This will pass. Drink lots of water: that is important.

If you wake up tomorrow with a panic attack, you need to look up at the ceiling and shout "I don't care! Do your worst. If you are going to kill me, then go ahead and do it and get it over with. I am not going to spend my life fearing you anymore!" And then lay on that bed and completely surrender to it. If you surrender to it and give yourself permission to completely LOSE IT, you find it very hard to do so. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Yeah i have done that too in the past. Go on do your worst!

Thats the thing with anxiety, when it kicks in you end up in a heartbeat thinking all sorts of crazy bizarre stuff. Fear induces fear and before you know where you are you are purposefully hammering yourself with nightmare scenarios its effing harsh.
But...you get over it, you have too, you got no choice really. Its just about how long your rope is and how long it takes you to get to the end and finally let go.
Personally for me, i get by just living one day at a time. What the hell is the point stressing about tomorrow when tomorrow may not even come??

I have tried to ride the wave as you call it now I'm just sick to my stomach. They have never been this bad. I don't know what to do. Thank you all. I feel like jumping off a bridge right now...figuratively speaking. It's just too much for me and my body to handle. I have no support anywhere else. My family isn't around to help. I'm crying rivers as we speak.

Seriously I just can't do this anymore. I have been doing so much for 3 years regarding the divorce, living still with my ex bc of the house needing to sell, now we have an offer and I have no place to go. My kids are a mess and do young that they don't get it. They are acting out. My work used to be ok but my super dislikes me and makes it known. Jobs are scarce esp dayshift jobs doing what I do. I'm getting primary custody, I think, and it's so much in them. I'm trying to avoid court for their sake and mine. It's all too much. There is more but the biggest thing is a home for me and my children. What u. An afford is not in safe areas. He can say I'm not a fit mother if I don't get my shit together. I love my boys more than anything and they are my glue. I never asked for this, not the affair, no the fallout but I'm left to pick up the pieces. I'm not talking about fairness in life...life isn't fair. I'm just talking about a break. CRIES!

I can't pretend to know what it's like to be in such a situation (my ex was in a similar one though so I know a bit about how terrible it can be) but maybe you can take a little comfort in my strategy for getting past bad situations. Just know that no matter how bad things are, it is always, always temporary. Life always moved on and past and gets better. Might be a month or a year or a decade, but at some point you will be looking back having conquered this time. Other have also been through it and past it, you will too. Easier said than done I know, but I wish you the best and hope things go as well as possible! Hang in there and know there are things and people there to help.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. It really sounds like an anxiety attack, and you are dealing with so much right now,you are overwhelmed. Worse case is you go to the emergency room.

You are having anxiety attacks as you are not comfortable in your current situation much less living situation and needing to find a place. You knew this was coming and now you can just do what you have to do and find a place. It's like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. You are trying to "keep it all together". There is nothing to keep together. You have to just be ok with the situation as it is and you are not "stuck". If you want to leave, leave. Your health and children are more important than staying somewhere because of money. I understand the panic attacks as I have had them nightly for years. I found out my thyroid and hormones were a big culprit as hyperthyroid causes anxiety. Even though I grew up in an abusive environment this felt beyond my control at times. Best to you! Things will fall into place once you get settled. This is just another opportunity for growth. Best to you!

Summer, thank you. I appreciate the support. I'm falling asleep at work bc I haven't slept. I just called my doctor to see if he could prescribe something. I just can't let go of the panicked fearful feeling. I thought my kids would be better off with me, but in the end maybe they are better off with their dad who can hold it together, even though I have done 90% of most of the stuff to date. I can't seem to shake this, today. Hugs to you all. I feel horrible for venting like this, I feel desperate and it's hard with nobody or nobody who understands and then putting on a brave face.

First Google and become familiar with the term Allostatic Load - this is the path to anxiety. Next break up the requirements of change into small pieces and focus only on those most important RIGHT NOW. Then prioritize what you have control over and what you dont and dont worry of work on what you cant control.

I hear that you feel alone in this and the feeling of the weight on you is breaking you. First you have a birthright of an inner Spirit that is strong enough for any task if we get out of its way with worry and over concern. Then know that people on this forum are here to support you until the light shines again.

I also want to share this: People with anxiety fear falling apart - often the fear of falling apart is what keeps us stuck.

When we hold on to what we think HAS to happen or occur we are not in alignment with Spirit or the true plan for us.

The TRUTH is that falling apart often is a path to Falling Together into our true self and healing.

Dont stand in the river and curse the current - relax and allow!!

Other than Googling, since I think I Google all the wrong things anyway, I think that is great advice Mystic.

After my first therapy appt, I felt like I was a little more aware of reality. That I knew where I was, that I was me. Yeah, it scared the hell out of me and then I felt overwhelmed. This was only 2 weeks ago or so, maybe 3.

Now I just try and look at the list of things I have to do and take them one at a time. Cannot worry about something at 6pm when the day is in front of me. I will coach the baseball team at 6pm (maybe build the lineup at lunch and wait).

One thing at a time. When I felt I was returning to reality, I felt I had to get EVERYTHING DONE NOW!!! That is not how it works. Sure, life throws curveballs at us all the time, but, still, we can only do one thing at a time. That was advice from my son's aftercare instructor when we talked about being overwhelmed. She said, "One thing at at time, it's all we can do"

To think I got some of my best advice from someone I just happen to discuss the stresses of the day with once.

I agree. Me being a perfectionist, I had to get everything done NOW. All we have it right now and nothing more. The impending overwhelm of the future is what keeps us anxious warriors stuck. I stay "warriors" as we are just that we persevere, but it can be to our detriment.
For, LLMT, you will be ok. This too shall pass. Sleep will come when it comes. For me meds made things worse and find that natural things like magnesium, gaba, etc. are really calming and help me sleep. Just sharing suggestions to help you with this day. Just keep saying STOP IT! All you have is right now. You will make it through.....

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Do you have a church you are connected with? or a friend you can talk to? I find when I can talk it out with someone that it really helps.
One thing to remember is that the irrational thoughts and untruths are the anxiety talking and are untrue even though they feel very real at the time. Try not to make any important decisions while feeling like this.
I am reading the best book right now. It's called "The Anxiety and Phobia" workbook. It has really helped me feel that what I am feeling is not "crazy" It's normal for people with anxiety and it 's also helping me get some tools on how to do with it.
Does your work have and EAP(employee assistance program)? They are a great resource to call for help when you are in the thick of your axiety.
Sorry to ramble. I hope some of this is helpful.

Sorry to hear what you are going through, you are a good mum, remember that. The great advice here of taking things one step at a time should help you. (It's helping me, I was a mess earlier today!)

Just remember to breathe, slowly and let your shoulders go down!