Wow congrats to u doing better. I tend to do the same thing i think a lot of people over do it when things r great and its normal.but i dont blameu for worrying bout it and wanting a stable life. In my opinion i would probably still pace myself cuz i can think that taking care of ourselves is a big part of it,and it seems u do have a lot of wonderful things going on also. I wish u the best of luck..or part time work maybe?

OMGosh...I could have written this word for word myself.

I too am just getting back into the swing of things as of recent, but I now know my limits. I know my priorites and am not going out there into this whole wide world without some type of plan and I believe that is what you are looking for too.
(by the way, I have asked my therapist a few times if I'm bipolar and she says no...lol).
I feel the best thing to do is write down all the things you WANT to do. Put them in the order of importance and I know they all seem important now, but try make one a priority over another.

I make lists of what I need to do each day (Planners are great for this. I even put when I need to mail/pay a bill). College taught me the importance of time management and I was never late in handing in an assignment.
Know that you are going to have deadlines which always stressed me out becuz I am the queen of procrastination. The thing is.....knowing what you can do to relieve the stress and then actually doing it (exercising, deep breathing or yoga, etc).

Know that your schedule is going to get messed up as things do pop up. I just flip the day. If my morning is messed up do to someone missing/canceling their appointment.....sometimes I will do what I was going to do later in the day in the morning so that I can have some down time or clear my schedule becuz someone else wants an afternoon appointment. This way I'm not sitting around moping.

Now that I am diabetic, I have to plan my days around eating at the right times. This is foreign to me as I could go several hours between meals of skip meals altogether. That is a big no no for me. However, with my ever changing schedule. I make my meals ahead of time and write my meals on my planner. I have found that regular meals are just as important as work. I work better and it relieves fatigue as well as it does keep my anxiety in check. I have eliminated fast food (nothing fried....gave up nuggets and fries and absolutely NO soda). I not only feel a thousand times better.....I've lost 70 pounds, my blood sugar is now under control, and so is my blood pressure :) (My goal is to be med free by summer).

These are just a few things I am doing different this time. I'm also scheduling some fun things......like a vacation later this Fall after my daughters wedding.

Know that not everything is going to go smoothly.....I found this out in my new business endeavor the other day. However, I didn't let it fester. I confronted the ppl that were "holding up progress," but in a nice way. So communication and delegation are key. Keep in mind that nobody can read your mind....keep EVERYONE afloat on your plans so you are on the same page. Don't be afraid to ask for help especially when you start feeling overwhelmed or like you are in over your head. You'd be surprised how eager most ppl are to help out. Remember, you are only one person and can only do so much in a day....so don't over schedule yourself. Prioritize what HAS to be done and if you can slide something else into another day (the only exception to this is having a baby).

If I think of any other tidbits, I will be sure to let you know.
I wish you the best and don't sweat it......You will do great.
Keep positive and don't worry about if anxiety comes back or not. I'm sure it will raise it's ugly head.....but just keep busy....however, if it does start to come back.....check out your thinking....is it negative? You know what to do if it is becuz you know you have the tools to combat it...right?
I have confidence in you Judy......just believe in yourself. Give your dreams wings!

Wow....I am seeing some MAJOR positives on this post page.

Judy....getting back into your art? That is fantastic...am am so excited for you. You will have to let us know if you are ever on Etsy...I love that site!

Ms Blank...you lost 70 lbs....wow...that is amazing!!! Also a new business venture, a wedding and a vacation. Wonderful things to look forward to!

Keep bring on the positive....the more positives the less anxiety!

BRAVO!

I have wondered too if I am bipolar (but I dont really think so), because I can be depressed and then feel like a million bucks.

I tend to overdo it when I am feeling good. Then I feel that I am ready to take on the whole world and that I have to be positive, energetic, motivated, strong and in charge 24/7. This is a lot of pressure. Nobody can function perfectly 100% of the time. Then something unplanned or negative happens and I beat myself up about it and this then starts me on a downward spiral. How could I let this happen again? I thought from now on I was just going to be strong and powerful. Yeah right.

Now, I take things a lot slower. I dont go all out, but try to keep a balance in my life. The things that help me manage my anxiety are daily exercise, limiting caffeine, eating regular healthy meals, being on DS and giving myself enough quiet time every day to reflect on my experiences.

Especially exercise is very important to me. If I dont exercise every day, preferably outside, I get sluggish and dont feel good. Then I get depressed and negative. Then I start thinking about everything bad that ever happened in my life and all the things that went wrong. And then all the negative thoughts jump start my anxiety.

So, I guess my suggestion would be: try not to take on the whole world at once, but try to integrate changes and goals into your daily life one by one and at a pace that allows you to keep a balance in your life.

It is wonderful that you are planning on having children. Children are a true blessing. My daughter is the love of my life.

Thank you for your responses and support, everyone. MsBlank, congratulations on all of your progress. Busy Bee, your advice is golden - integrating things into my daily life one by one. I will try to do that.

I have been through this before when my struggle was more with depression. I would feel better and I couldn't even be happy about that because I felt like I had to make up for lost time before I felt bad again. I'd worry about crashing and that fear and negativity would make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I also have Big Plans Syndrome. I want to do everything I can think of and when I can't accomplish even half of it, I get discouraged and down on myself. I am going to try to adjust my sense of accomplishment this time around. And I'm not going to feel bad if some of this doesn't pan out or work out exactly the way I want it to.

I read an article yesterday that said you can't even imagine what your life will look like in five years so don't bother planning it. There is so much you can't control.

Why is it so hard to just go with the flow and embrace uncertainty?

I am an over achiever, I get an idea I go great guns!! I have been like this all my life, had to do stuff perfect, plan everything, very independent... then I finally crashed and burned.... got to the point I couldn't function, had to quit my job, change anti depressant after being on Zoloft for 13 years. Off work for 4 months. I see a counselor once a week, and have learned that I have to have a NEW normal life flow. New Pace, slow down and enjoy the process not just getting the end result. This has lightened my mood, not so serious. Less stressful on me and my family. I know I can be very efficient, and overly efficient to the point of unhealthy but at who's expense?? MINE, and then that effects my whole family and my over all well being. I had to put myself first, slow down, make time to relax, break my normal routine, instead of starting dinner the minute I walk in the door.. I take 15 mins have some decaf tea and relax, and ask everyone how there day was and then make dinner... this breaks the rush, rush get it done cycle. I make a list of stuff I want to do, I cross off a few things that are easily done, and the rest of the list is for another day and cross off a few more. I can visual see my progress without the burn out. I also feel more present for my daughter, I need that time to connect with her. She won't care how fast I get dinner on the table, but she will remember me being present and slowing down and enjoy the connecting/bonding because in a few years she'll be in college and on her own. Now these changes didn't come over night, it took time to adjust and sometimes I fall back into the overly efficient/stressed self, then I have to recognize and make the change to slow things down again. I have to be more in tune with my stress level/moods/ and pay close attention to my habits/routines as it is so easy to slip back. So I take one day at a time, and know I can handle anything that comes my way as long as I take care of me first (mental/emotional/physically) This has helped for me, I wish you strength and I'm sure in time you will make adjustments in your life to slow down so you don't have to suffer burn out, I understand how you feel. Hang in there my friend :-)

Thank you so much @missymisjen. Your experience is very helpful. I think you and I are a lot alike. I tend to want to cram as much as I can into the day and I'm sure if I go back to work, I will be right back where I started at the pace that burned me out and left me a nervous wreck. I like your idea about coming home and just pausing for 15 minutes. It takes effort to do less, but I think it's worth it. You could even make it a daily practice - to identify three things on your "to do" list that aren't imperative and force yourself to let them slide.

You are an artist; therefore, wired differently than others. Your emotions are amplified and you find inspiration and it drives you, even at odd hours. The byproduct of creativity is suffering and self-doubt.

Bipolar? Hardly. You are an artist. Such dichotomy comes with the territory. Western society praises pragmatists and shuns those of your disposition, putting you on a guilt trip as if something is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you; only, artists ask the why questions rather than the how ones, which is a threat to the establishment.

Create your art and put it out there. Your art is not an excuse and your previous job was stressful for a reason: it wasn't who you are. Your art is who you are. Society, the media and Madison Avenue, fool you to be pragmatic and work a job you hate. Be free and dream. Put your hard work into yourself and your art. Promote both.

You are worth it.

Thank you, McBri. I really needed to hear that. It's true that I had a very hard time dealing with the 9-to-5 world and it took me awhile to figure out what was wrong and why it drained me so much. I never thought it was where I was supposed to end up. I really just fell into the field, unlike many of my colleagues who had known what they wanted to do since high school and had tailored their lives for that career.

I am still trying to find what works best for me and certainly feel happier with a more free schedule that allows me to do creative work when the inspiration strikes (and to show up every day until it does). It's true I've internalized society's message about what is worthwhile and valuable and it takes constant strength on my part to resist it. One of the hardest things is the drop in income and not feeling like I'm contributing to my household finances (although my husband and parents are constantly reminding me that I contribute in other ways, just not as an earner).

Glad to hear you are doing better. In order not to stress too much or get anxiety as bad I try to stay in the present. If I think too much or fret too much about the future I get anxiety so bad, I almost make myself sick (naseau and headache). I also try not to ponder on bad things from the past. By staying focused on the present I don't get as depressed about the past nor do I get as anxious about the future.
This usually works for me I hope I have helped. :)

Forgot...one way to stay in the present...keep busy with a hobby or something that makes you happy and I also use breathing techniques and meditation.

Is it a part of anxiety when we get those big productive spurts?

I always did have those spurts, but they have increased into high drive ever since I got PTSD and anxiety.

Is it a part of anxiety when we get those big productive spurts?

I always did have those spurts, but they have increased into high drive ever since I got PTSD and anxiety.

McBri: very good answer, people expect you to act in certain ways and usually those are very close minded people to begin with.

You know, the ones that always want to draw within the lines?

@stlaries, I totally agree. I do yoga and that has taught me to try to stay in the present moment. Lately, I'm also trying to take things not just one day at a time, but one hour at a time. I have a habit of constantly planning and thinking through my future goals while also analyzing the past. I think THAT'S where anxiety comes from.

Pampasgrass, I think you are right about anxiety. I can be a hard charger, and I think i've paid the price for it with anxiety, which took me out of the race altogether. I'm seeking balance at this point in my life.