Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Tonight I feel extremely guilty about my dad being in the hospital, I feel like I'm not spending enough time with him in the room and my mother and him both made comments about it, I feel really awful about it and I feel like i'm just being a horrible daughter.. I hate being in the room too long though because it's emotionally painful for me to see my dad like that, I don't want to start crying.. I just feel so guilty and ashamed.. Am i horrible?
But if I may give you some advice.....if I were you, I would do everything I could to muster up the strength to go there and spend time with your dad. I don't know anything about your dad's situation or about how sick he is or isn't.....but I know that I live with regret every single day of my life that I didn't go see my mom more. I would gladly suffer through terrifying fear if I could only see her one more time.
this is exactly what anxiety wants you to believe. What is happening is anxiety is doing a number on you. Making you doubt yourself loath yourself and so keep the cycle of dread anxiety adrenalin dread anxiety adrenalin going.
Anxietys best weapon is you. It makes you do its bidding for you and that is exactly what is happening. You KNOW you are a good person, that is why you are here because anxiety doesnt affect arseholes because they dont care and so are immune and because you care because you are sensetive anxiety is using those "gifts" you have against you.
Dont beat yourself up you dont need to anxiety will happily do that for you. If you want to beat it the only way is to have faith in yourself believe in yourself and be kind to yourself ok.
If you didnt have anxiety issues being in that room watching your dad would not be so harsh. Because you are who you are it is and sadly because mom and dad dont know enough about anxiety they are making a judgement call without all the facts ok.
Ask yourself this....if it didnt hurt so much would i be in there like 24/7
Answer: yes you bloody would.
This is just anxiety doing a number on you and making you hate yourself because that is EXACTLY how it works ok.
Its not your Mom or Dads fault, NO ONE on this planet who hasnt dealt with this would understand NO WAY its not going to happen. So if anything walk away thinking ok i get where you are coming from but i am sorry you dont know what is really going on here.
It is a very common reaction for a person with no knowledge of anxiety and the massive effect on your life it can have to dismiss it as twoddle but i gaurentee you if Mom and Dad came down with what has happened to you within a very short period of time they would be saying darling i am sorry i didnt realise. That doesnt make them bad people they just do not know and therein is anxietys other massive weapon....isolation. Thas how it works it wants to keep you down to keep the cycle going and it does that by isolating you from the ones you love.
Do yourself a favour, read all this and let it sink in and you will start to realise just what you are up against.
steve