I am sorry you are having such a rough night. I have been where you are. I do know what it is like to not have any support and to feel so horrible about myself. Just remembering those days makes me sad. But I did break out of that and I learned to love myself and appreciate who I was inside and out. I hope you are one day able to see that you are a very worthy person and that you are likable and lovable by everyone, but especially by you.

As for 'letting it go'... It would be so nice if it were that easy but it is not. I also could not let things go but, with lots of therapy and hard work, I have learned how to 'let things go'. I will say that a big part of learning to 'let it go' was learning to appreciate myself, my time and my boundaries...and honoring them all the time.

Take care. I do hope things improve for you very soon.

Thanks... It's encouraging to know its possible to get past this. I can't see how to not feel like this. I'm a people pleaser that is really bad at pleasing people
I can keep myself from letting little things turn to panic but after a week or two it blows up and I panic. I have made progress. I used to panic at least 3 times a week. I just wish I could stay strong and not let stuff get to me.

The only person you are responsible to please, is you. Once you put yourself first and learn to value yourself, you will begin to see big changes in you life, your attitude and your anxiety.

It's hard if someone is mad at me. Even if it's over something stupid or if they arnt actually mad I just think they are mad. For example I have a sleeping disorder so I am tired ALL the time. I don't keep up with housework as much as I should because I'd rather use my energy for something I enjoy not dishes. If I only did housework that's all I'd ever be able to do in my free awake time. I just spread chores out through out the week. (I have never been a tidy person though). So if my husband makes a comment about the dishes I feel like a failure as a wife. So if a few small things like that happen it builds and I feel like a huge failure and thinks I'm a failure. In reality he knew about the sleeping disorder before we were married and we lived together before we were married too. It just got hard when we moved into our own home not renting. Also we have been married for a year and a half and been in our home for a year and it was in renovations for most of the year.

I just have this picture of what a wife should be and the sleeping disorder makes that hard. I don't work full time because I can't so I feel like I should have a clean home and meals cooked everyday. It's just too hard. This is mostly in my head. My husband is pretty understanding. Once in awhile he mentions things but the negative thoughts are all coming from me.

I totally understand . I have the same racing thoughts that you have about all the things I am not doing and all the things I "feel" like I should be doing because it is expected. I have no idea how to get past that or how to work on letting things go. It is refreshing to hear that there are ways to get through these rough times... I am having a rough day too.. I just want to cry, scream, laugh smile, and yell all at the same time and I can't describe why. I just want this feeling to leave me and it never does it is in the pit of my stomach creating anguish and daily frustration... I don't truly think my family understands these feelings either. My husband tells me to take my crazy pills (celexa) so I don't become crazy... he says I am irrational without them but I feel irrational with them... I am sorry I just vented on your post. I get you. I get the feeling you have... I have it daily...

Thanks for sharing kellie... It is a really crappy place to be. It helps to know I'm not alone. Sorry your having a bad day too. :(
I don't like admitting my husband isn't the most supportive. I know he cares it must be hard for him to know what to do and he is a man on top of that. I have it in my head that he needs to fix it and make things better for me. I know this isn't his job but it's hard not to expect that. I guess I always pictured having a husband that picked up the pieces and comforted me when I'm upset. Then I realized men don't understand why your upset and when they try to help it usually makes it worse. Ugh. I'm just so sad I don't have anyone to cry to. Even my sister thinks I should let things go but I don't know how. After it builds I have no idea how to let it go.

I've been getting better at letting things go. I've been working on a lot of cognitive therapy techniques over the past few months and it's helping. I think it forces you to slow down your racing thoughts and identify all the negative thinking, which has become automatic. Then you formulate more balanced, realistic thoughts. Sometimes I'm able to identify the underlying fear and let it go just by doing that. Other times, it's harder and you have to engage everyday to try to change a message you are sending to yourself.

I know how you feel. I am an artist and I work at home. Because I am at home, I take on more of the housework. I beat myself up a lot if I don't have a good day in the studio or the laundry goes undone because I was too tired or had appointments or errands. It's tough, but I think you can learn to be gentler with yourself.

Perhaps you should look for a good therapist?

I agree therapy is helpful. I need to get back into it.