Anxiety Disorders in Children Support Group
Childhood","This community is for parents and caregivers of children who exhibit signs of anxiety. Anxiety refers to a complex combination of negative emotions that includes fear, apprehension and worry, and is often accompanied by physical sensations such as palpitations, nausea, chest pain and/or shortness of breath."
Hello. I'm new here. Just a big of background - my husband (and father to my two boys - age 13 and 15) passed away 2 months very suddenly at age 50. He had a massive stroke.
My 13 year old son seems to be handling it okay, but my 15 year old is having lots of problems. He basically decided to stop going to school right after Thanksgiving. I immediately got him into a counselor and he's been going twice a week now for a month, but to no avail. I got him in with a psychiatrist who started anti-depressants. He tried Zoloft which gives him terrible insomnia. Then he tried Lexapro which made him sleepy day and night. Now he's back on a low doze of Zoloft with a low dose of sleep aid.
Nothing is helping. He only wants to sleep all day and stay up all night. Today is the first day of school after the winter break. He got all his makeup work done over the break that he missed from being absent for 3 weeks. He acted like he was going to try to go to school today, but he wouldn't even budge when I tried to get him out of bed.
I sent the school counselor an email telling her to get paperwork started on homebound instruction (where they send a teacher to the house). Last year my 15 year old was diagnosed with a heart condition called POTS. He went on homebound instruction for about 6 weeks until the end of the first semester. Then I pulled him out and homeschooled him for the 2nd semester. He went back to school this fall and seemed to be doing okay until his dad passed away. Then he just cratered.
He has lost all desire to try to go to school. I'm so sad for him. This is really the last thing I want to deal with considering my husband just passed away 2 months ago and there is so much else to deal with.
I just want to throw in the towel where my 15 year old is concerned. However, I know I can't do that. I just don't know what else I can do? I'd appreciate any thoughts/guidance. thank you. Thanks.
Cathy
My 13 year old son seems to be handling it okay, but my 15 year old is having lots of problems. He basically decided to stop going to school right after Thanksgiving. I immediately got him into a counselor and he's been going twice a week now for a month, but to no avail. I got him in with a psychiatrist who started anti-depressants. He tried Zoloft which gives him terrible insomnia. Then he tried Lexapro which made him sleepy day and night. Now he's back on a low doze of Zoloft with a low dose of sleep aid.
Nothing is helping. He only wants to sleep all day and stay up all night. Today is the first day of school after the winter break. He got all his makeup work done over the break that he missed from being absent for 3 weeks. He acted like he was going to try to go to school today, but he wouldn't even budge when I tried to get him out of bed.
I sent the school counselor an email telling her to get paperwork started on homebound instruction (where they send a teacher to the house). Last year my 15 year old was diagnosed with a heart condition called POTS. He went on homebound instruction for about 6 weeks until the end of the first semester. Then I pulled him out and homeschooled him for the 2nd semester. He went back to school this fall and seemed to be doing okay until his dad passed away. Then he just cratered.
He has lost all desire to try to go to school. I'm so sad for him. This is really the last thing I want to deal with considering my husband just passed away 2 months ago and there is so much else to deal with.
I just want to throw in the towel where my 15 year old is concerned. However, I know I can't do that. I just don't know what else I can do? I'd appreciate any thoughts/guidance. thank you. Thanks.
Cathy
I'm also sorry your oldest is having such a hard time. Medicine is such a tough thing. You never know what works and sometimes have to try so many different ones to get what's right. My daughter has anxiety and dealt with MAJOR insomnia. She had other issues as well, but the insomnia is the main reason we had her start seeing a therapist. She is on Wellbutrin/bupropion. We have her on a low dose...........I think 75 mg. When the psych doctor tried putting her on a higher dose she was much more agitated and the insomnia was worse so we are keeping her where she is for now. We also have her on a sleep aid.......trazodone. Sometimes the sleep aid doesn't seem to do the trick and we have a bad night, but for the most part she is doing much better than before.
How long has your son seen a therapist? I do know that it took me a long time to actually see an improvement. I didn't think she would ever get better, and it just seemed so drawn out and exhausting.
Losing a father has to be so devastating for him. I can't even begin to comprehend what he must be going through...........all of you for that matter! Do hang in there. YOu're doing the right thing by trying to get help. It may just take some time.
Just a thought............does he like his therapist? My daughter helped me with researching therapists and found one basically on her own. It ended up working out great and she is comfortable gong to her. I, of course, made sure she had the credentials we wanted, but I think it helped that she felt she had a part in "picking out" her own therapist. Only a suggestion. Maybe the one you have is working, and that's great. Sometimes it just takes some time.
Please let us know how you're doing and hang in there. My thoughts and prayers are with you:)
Just curious if Prozac was considered by your psychiatrist? My impression is that it can be a little more mood elevating than Zoloft or Lexapro. Of course, I'm no doctor...
Try not to be too discouraged by where your 15-year-old is at right now. (I know, what a ludicrous thing for me to say, right?) But it has been such a short time since your husband died. With therapy, time and probably meds, your son will come out of this. Can his therapist and/or the school counselor advise you about how to keep him from falling behind, or whether/when you should push him to get back to school?
Finally, my first thought when reading your post was, do YOU have support? I hope you have someone you can talk to, like a therapist.
Let us know how it's going. I hope things turn around, at least in small part, soon.
I hope you don't mind, I followed you here from DS/WW.
May I ask if your son had any anxiety problems or school attendance problems before his dad passed on?
If all this is a total new thing for him, then for sure the shock of losing his Dad due to a stroke...plus you stated your son was, himself, diagnosed with a heart problem. I imagine for a teenage 15 year old boy, that would create a tremendous shock to his system. I also wonder if that has created fear and anxiety of losing his own life.
Now you are hoping school will make it all go away. School would be the last thing he can handle right now.
Do you have access to a counsellor or psychologist, someone who can assess him?
The sooner this is dealt with the better. I am so sorry you have to be dealing with such a profound situation, when you are dealing with such a tremendous loss. Do you have access to any family counselling centres to get you started right away. I truly believe that all the medication, will do is cover up his many fears and concerns in his life right now. Plus you need support on a one on one basis.
I truly care for you present situation, I hope and pray things can get started for some healthy healing.
Love to you and your sons,
Sandra.
ps. please feel free to tell me if I have overstepped my boundaries.
I am trying to be understanding with him right now. We are just waiting for the school to approve the "homebound" instruction. A couple of teachers are sending work home so he doesn't get too far behind.
Thanks again.
Cathy