Anger Management Support Group
Anger management commonly refers to therapeutic techniques by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce their emotions. Typical examples include the use of deep breathing and meditation as a means to relaxation. Psychologists recommend a balanced approach, which both controls the emotion and allows it to express itself in a healthy way.
I get angry over lots of things. Little things make me unreasonably angry. I've broken things because they didn't work, hurt my hands slamming my keyboard...
Commercials will make me really angry in ways I don't entirely understand. The way the people act in commercials infuriate me.
I'll get angry at strangers who act out of turn. People who are rude. I get angry about screaming children. I don't act on these feelings of anger but they give me headaches.
I have extremely violent fantasies. My boyfriend flew to seattle and had sex with another woman, then refused to stop speaking to her. I wanted to kill her. I sent her anonymous messages calling her names and telling her she was garbage. I found out my boyfriend cheated on me again (with a different woman) and I actually considered finding the woman and beating her with a boken.
I thought about trying to draw my emotions but I was terrified that if my boyfriend found them he would yell at me or throw me out of my home.
Commercials will make me really angry in ways I don't entirely understand. The way the people act in commercials infuriate me.
I'll get angry at strangers who act out of turn. People who are rude. I get angry about screaming children. I don't act on these feelings of anger but they give me headaches.
I have extremely violent fantasies. My boyfriend flew to seattle and had sex with another woman, then refused to stop speaking to her. I wanted to kill her. I sent her anonymous messages calling her names and telling her she was garbage. I found out my boyfriend cheated on me again (with a different woman) and I actually considered finding the woman and beating her with a boken.
I thought about trying to draw my emotions but I was terrified that if my boyfriend found them he would yell at me or throw me out of my home.
I tend to think of anger as an imprecise emotion. We're often confused when we're angry, and so we direct our anger toward things, like keyboards, that aren't to blame. Untangling this confusion can be helpful. For instance, you mentioned that you aren't sure why commercials anger you. Have you tried introspecting about that? You might try spelling out your thoughts about the commercials, whether in a journal, with a friend, or just in your own mind. You could do it on this message board too. Is there a specific commercial that angered you recently?
Eventually a friend gave me the book Co-dependent No More and that made a really big difference for me. Now I am in a long term loving relationship.
You mentioned being angry at a lot of things for no apparent reason. For me, I was doing the same kind of things, self-injury, and breaking things, blowing up in traffic and that kind of thing when all of these things were going on. It turned out I was misdirecting the true anger I had, which was toward my boyfriend (and myself for loving him and allowing him to abuse me)
It sounds like you are in an abusive relationship. You are possibly directing the anger that you feel toward him outward because it is not safe to express your anger towards him. I too was furious at the other women, but when I thought about it they didn't even know about me. They weren't at fault, he was.
You also said you are afraid he will yell at you or throw you out if he finds out about your feelings. That sounds like you are in a dangerous situation! Don't you have family or friends that you can turn to for help?
If you are in an abusive relationship and you need help getting out, there are organizations that can help. Contact the domestic abuse hotline they can help if you don't have support from family or friends that can help you. But PLEASE be careful - the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you try to leave.
That doesn't mean you should stay - just have a plan and an exit strategy. If you have a smart phone here's a great app you can get called ASPIRE, look into it. It could save your life.
http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/
1-800-799-7233
In other words, perhaps, being cheated on is enough of a natural reason ot want to kill that the powers that be made laws saying you die if you do these things. just made me think.
with that said, if someone wants to cheat and does so so blatantly, like your boyfriend, I would not be so pressed to dwell on it if I could do seomthing about it. i mean, it would be great if you could think of him as a weak minded individual (which we all are) and realize that man doesn't come hard wired to be monogomous (at least that is what statistics show). i think I read that 75 percent of all couples have one cheating partner. if we all killed over this seemingly inherent weakness, the world would almost end!
i am so so sorry this is happening. I am not minimizing what you are going through. every bit of pain is justified, just, I hope you see it in a larger picture now.
be well