Anger Management Support Group
Anger management commonly refers to therapeutic techniques by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce their emotions. Typical examples include the use of deep breathing and meditation as a means to relaxation. Psychologists recommend a balanced approach, which both controls the emotion and allows it to express itself in a healthy way.
I was bullied at my first job out of school. Here is my story below (apologies for the length):
https://wbs10.wordpress.com/2014/04/26/my-ordeal-with-a-vicious-and-evil-workplace-bully/
I am angry because I cannot see how any woman could marry this person let alone bear him children. Yet he has a family and appears to lead a perfectly normal life.
https://wbs10.wordpress.com/2014/04/26/my-ordeal-with-a-vicious-and-evil-workplace-bully/
I am angry because I cannot see how any woman could marry this person let alone bear him children. Yet he has a family and appears to lead a perfectly normal life.
One thing that especially gets to me about bullies is that they have so little in the way of ordinary human feelings like guilt and shame and remorse that they don't seem to suffer much if at all over what they've done. Hopefully, people like you will keep shunning him. Whatever insensitivity makes someone a bully may also shut off part of their ability to fully and truly appreciate close relationships, enjoy art, etc. For all my anger and frustration, when it comes down to it, I don't envy them, I just resent them.
I think you should consider getting therapy (if you can) to help you move past this. You have ever right to be baffled by him having a normal life. I had a coworker who similarly bullied another worker out of our place of work, and I could never understand why his wife was with him. She's the sweetest, most empathetic and compassionate person I know, and if she knew how things had really gone down, and what he had said and how he had said it, I think she would feel differently about him. But because it's not my place, I never said anything to her about it.
But when our mutual friend (and my boss) did something similar to me, I did tell her what happened. I don't know if that changed her relationship with that person. I don't really care. But when asked why I was upset, or now, in the future, when asked why I don't want to be around that person, I don't lie. I'll tell people what they did to me to make me literally never want to see them again.
Unfortunately, when I did report the behavior, my boss, who was also a bully, sided with him and his union representative and threatened to fire me since they claimed I apparently said stuff back to him. At the time I was just to naive and unaware to pursue any further legal action. So as a result, I'm still angry because this guy was never held accountable even though this happened more than 10 years ago. Writing the blog did help as it enabled me to put the entire experience in writing, and I feel I need to share what happened. As for therapy, I did see a therapist last year but my initial visit did not go well. I intend to start seeing one when I am back on health insurance which hopefully should be soon.
Your story strikes close to home with me. In fact, I am here at this group wondering whether to post some comments about my own situation. I have done my job dutifully for over 20 years. Now, I have a supervisor who is half my age and about a 1/4 of my experience. It shows as I have been called often into his office to answer for decisions I have made which he doesn't agree with despite them being in accordance with policy. He told me he could use repeated evaluations against me and made mention of how he'd like to eliminate my position next fiscal year. On one issue, he called me and several other staff into his office so they could witness him criticizing me and told other staff not to respond to legitimate requests I made for information.
Yeah, it is upsetting. I understand completely how you may feel with your boss. I picked up a second job recently to pad my bank account, but I consider it an alternative to dealing with the nonsense at my current position. I want to put more time and effort into getting away from this buffoon than trying to tolerate him. It doesn't always work that way, especially when I get to work and find he wants me to come to his office while I am in the middle of doing my job.
I hope the best for you. I do know how you may be feeling. I can understand your anger. Breathe and realize that you are better than this person. Be well.
In regards to your last sentence, that is exactly what I have realized. I wouldn't say I'm better than him, but I do realize he acted the way he did through insecurity and as a result, the problem was his and not mine. So with that said, I have been doing better. If the anger returns however, I have found a good therapist that I can see. Again thanks for your reply and hope your situation resolves soon.
Hugs