Anger Management Support Group
Anger management commonly refers to therapeutic techniques by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce their emotions. Typical examples include the use of deep breathing and meditation as a means to relaxation. Psychologists recommend a balanced approach, which both controls the emotion and allows it to express itself in a healthy way.
I often feel anger over past events, even from decades ago. I control it very well in terms of my actions -- I don't lash out, etc. -- but it eats me up inside. Typically, it's about things that were done to me, especially in cases in which I didn't stand up for myself.
Does anyone else experience anger like this? If so, what helps you to cope?
Thanks.
Does anyone else experience anger like this? If so, what helps you to cope?
Thanks.
I am acting out...snapping at people...crying...just totally angry all the time over past events.
I keep thinking the same types of things are going to happen again and I get very aggressive and defensive when any similar situations pop up.
I am not dealing with the same people now....as far as relationship issues..but I treat my partner sometimes like he is my X and I fear he is going to act like him...so I act out first.
I'm still angry at my parents for kicking me out at 17...I'm 51...and I blame all my life circumstance (only the bad ones) on them....
I have always been "victim" and as I get older it is pointed out by therapist that I can learn to let this stuff go...but I don't let it go.
I am petite and sweet looking...but my words can cut like a knife.
In the last 1.5 years...I have started to throw things...break things....my therapist told me about 2 years ago...some of my verbiage can be considered abusive...I WAS SHOCKED.
I was like...what....of course I act like this...look at my past....she reminded me the people I am acting out on...did not do the things I am angry about.
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through all of that, but knowing that I'm not alone in my problems helps. (What you said about your parents is in particular true about me.)
What coping strategies have you tried, and how has your experience been with them.
Meditation and mindfulness have helped me, because they give me the skill to return to the present when thoughts pull me into the past. Sharing my feelings and talking to others also help, because they help me to understand and get a perspective on my experiences, making them something that I can have a dialogue with rather than something that just overwhelms me.
But these techniques, while helpful, have worked mostly to take the edge of and help me to function better with the world. They haven't lessened the frequency with which past events pop up in my mind.
I have turned it into enabling my oldest son because I will never let him be alone...he is addicted to drugs...and I help him or enable him as some say...more than I should.
That is what my parents did to me by kicking me to the curb...made me swear I would never abandon my sons no matter what.
The only thing that ever keeps me in the present is Ekhart Tolle....he speaks of the here and now...I'm not big into advertising books or good reads or anything else....but his work is soothing.
It is an audio cd...he has many...about human behaviors...egos...and how to focus on the NOW.
Are you getting good, professional help for your son?
It's great to hear that you have committed to not doing what your parents did. I've also made a point to approach life differently than my parents did.
Im sorry that youve been carrying such bad thing for so long
I experienced such anger before , for years of my life
my father always had problems with drinking and he was not present during my childhood and teen years , I used to see kids with their parents outside and I didnt have my father with me , it got me sad because I thought the man was supposed to be the leader of a family and a leader couldnt be a druken one which ignored his children . So I grew up with anger for him , it was strong till the point that for so long I couldnt talk to him at all without getting nervous but I began to change and I began to realise that all he did conciously or unconciously , it hurt me yes but it didnt give me the right to be hurtful to him , I read a sentence these says , saying " No one heals by wounding others " and its so true ! Like you said , youre able to keep that anger within without exploding but you are wounding yourself and sooner or later you will explode because no one can hold something dark back for so long , you shouldnt think about coping but rather think about getting free from it , leaving it behind and you know what helps ? To forgive because when you forgive people who hurt you before , you make a huge step towards cleaning yourself from all that anger and allowing yourself to live feeling better and ligther , the longer you spend without forgiving , the longer you will spend suffering when its not the only way , you can be free from that and finally move on emotionaly . Learn to forgive and you will get much better and wont have to control or hold anything bad anymore , youll finally have peace within
Thanks for the kind words and for sharing your story. I'm sorry that has happened to you, but what you learned about how to forgive has given me a lot to think about. In particular, my anger toward my father could be helped by the things you've shared.