Ive been feeling lonely and ive been deprssed since March this year. My mom abandoned me and my family that month but even before that my life has been like hell. I have lived knowing so many lies believing them as if they were the truth. My mother abused me and did many things to me since i was little and it barely stopped this last December only because I threatened to call the cops on her. My mom used to verbally abuse me and physically. She would beat me and take her anger out on me for no reason. My mother told me hurtful things that a daughter should never hear coming from her mom. My mom has made my life impossible but ever since she left I hold many responsibilties around my house that no 15 year old should yet hold. My father and all brothers work and I never have time for myself and I don't know how to really keep us with all this and there are times i wish to take my life away but I just don't do it because I cant make my father or brothers suffer like that but sometimes I just get so loenl and I have no one to talk too and I feel as if no one understands me. I feel put aside way too much and I hope one of you on here can be my friend and we can help eachother through rough times like these. I have thought so many times about running away and disappearing and I just I need someone to help me. I can get extreme shakiness from my anxiety and it scares me.
I've been depressed for a year and a half and it just gets worse. I have a boyfriend but I'm not sure if we should be together. I have little to no one to talk about and everything stresses me out to the point where I breakdown, cry, and want to kill myself... I don't know if I can keep going on when I feel this way...
Sorry I'm such a bother. Sorry I'm so fat and disgusting. Sorry I'm so unipolar.Sorry I'm so indecisive. Sorry I talk about my weight and calories too much. Sorry I can't be normal, like you..Sorry I'm not beautiful like you.Sorry I can't stop being depressed. Sorry I don't know what I feel. Sorry for everything.