Aneurysms Support Group
An aneurysm (or aneurism) is localized, blood-filled dilation (bulge) of a blood vessel caused by disease or weakening of the vessel wall. Aneurysms most commonly occur in arteries at the base of the brain and in the aorta - this is an aortic aneurysm. This bulge in a blood vessel can burst and lead to death at any time.
I apologize for this being so long - My mother, now 72, had a ruptured brain aneurysm 1 1/2 years ago. She was treated at Mayo. The aneurysm itself was tiny, but we were told it was the most masive bleed the doctors had ever seen. She shouldn't have survived, but she did. After a grueling surgery and thirty days in ICU, she was on her "path to recovery."
She had lost her sight which the doctors said was very rare and couldn't explain it, although kept assuring us it would return. It hasn't. She seemed to make quite a bit of progress over the first year, but in the last six months has begun deteriorating. The doctors are explaining it in such a way that she was working so hard and being pushed to her brain's limits that it was like running into a brick wall. Her brain was maxed out in its fight at recovery and is now in a downslide and deteriorating quickly. It's as if she's regressing back to where she was after it happened.
My step-father has done everything to help her. She has been at home with 24 hour aides, therapists of all sorts in and out of the house, back and forth to Mayo for check ups, tests, etc. She's the love of his life and he is devastated. He's feeling because of what he sees and what the doctors are telling him that she will only get worse and there are plans to put her in a nursing home by the end of the Summer. She's still blind, has never walked, barely can't get up without help to use the potty, etc., was feeding herself fairly well, but now needs help again, very confused, etc. etc. I'm torn. I don't know if this is her fate.
Living in a separate town and not being there often enough to make well defined conclusions of my own, do I buy into what everyone is saying and let the mother that I once knew go?
She had lost her sight which the doctors said was very rare and couldn't explain it, although kept assuring us it would return. It hasn't. She seemed to make quite a bit of progress over the first year, but in the last six months has begun deteriorating. The doctors are explaining it in such a way that she was working so hard and being pushed to her brain's limits that it was like running into a brick wall. Her brain was maxed out in its fight at recovery and is now in a downslide and deteriorating quickly. It's as if she's regressing back to where she was after it happened.
My step-father has done everything to help her. She has been at home with 24 hour aides, therapists of all sorts in and out of the house, back and forth to Mayo for check ups, tests, etc. She's the love of his life and he is devastated. He's feeling because of what he sees and what the doctors are telling him that she will only get worse and there are plans to put her in a nursing home by the end of the Summer. She's still blind, has never walked, barely can't get up without help to use the potty, etc., was feeding herself fairly well, but now needs help again, very confused, etc. etc. I'm torn. I don't know if this is her fate.
Living in a separate town and not being there often enough to make well defined conclusions of my own, do I buy into what everyone is saying and let the mother that I once knew go?
I am an aneurysm suvivor. Two surgeries post. I know how frustrated you must feel. First...an aneurysm that has the most massive bleed the doctors have ever seen, is not tiny Did she have a stroke with this aneurysm? Depending on the location of the aneurysm, loosing your site is very common. Sometimes, family and friends of the aneurysm survivor, constantly look for progress in recovery. The steps are very small and sometimes they don't happen very fast. The residual effects post aneurysm are very hard for others to understand and sometimes it causes frustration all around. Sometimes it's best just to take a day and tell the annie survivor ....... that today we are just going to relax and enjoy each other..........Sometimes it's best just to ask the annie survivor...What would you like to do today?... And do it.....
I know you are very frustrated and confused, but having walked the road you mom is walking, I know she is frustrated too.
Enjoy your Mom...Cherish every moment......
I'm there for you......
Jo Ann
I am an aneurysm survivor too. Mine ruptured at 4mm and I had a lot of bleeding and pressure on the brain. I had ICP tubes and a shunt put in after being put into a coma. When I came home, I tried to do so much to show people and myself I could heal from this. Wrong, it was too much for the brain with no recovery time. I thought if I did not push myself, I would forget how to do things but I did not. Now, I take things as they come and go forward slowly. I had another annie one year later but was coiled before rupture and I think that might have been caused from pushing myself to return to what I was before any of this happened. I did not have a stroke but did have to learn to walk again. Still have not tried to run but would like to. My eye sight did get hazy but is fine now. We each have different things that happen except for the itching and cooties feelings on the head and face. I have read about a lot of us having that. Jo Ann started it I think. Some mornings I wake with scratch marks on my face and dry blood so I know I have been itchy.I would not give up on your Mom. Tell her to be herself and do the best she can. She made it through the worst part and now she just needs understanding and time. My Mom gave up on herself and chose death over living . Think of her and miss her everyday. I get confused some days but blame it on age instead of the aneurysm.We are all here to help if you need it . God bless. Carol
I just read your post. I don't get to the board as often as I would like and when I see things like this I feel so bad that I didn't respond sooner.
I am also a ruptured brain aneurysm survivor. There are no simple answers and there can be vast differences from one patient's recovery to another's because there are so many variables.
I maintain that aneurysms don't just happen to the patient, they happen to the entire family. We survivors go through so many changes that it's often difficult for us to even understand ourselves.
I think the best you can do for your mother is to make sure she knows you love and accept her just as she is today (or any given day).
While it may seem like forever to you, 1-1/2 years isn't all that far into recovery. The physical healing from the surgery may take place in a couple of months, but I know quite a few aneurysm survivors and most do not start feeling at all like themselves for at least 3 years. Sometimes the progress is so painfully slow that you have to celebrate victories so small that you can barely see them.
Sadly, not all cases turn out well. It may be that a move to a nursing care facility may bring a change of scenery that pulls your mom out of her slump. I'm sure it is really hard for your dad. Make sure you let him know that you love him and that you know he's having to make hard decisions.
I will be praying for your family.
Hugs,
Janet