Hello Everyone;  I am a 66 year old Man who in August 2020 had a BKA done due to an infection called Osteomylitus. This is a non-curable infection that got me at Christmas 2019, my right leg so swolen that I was not able to even move it to pick up my leg. For four years prior to this I had been dealing with Charco (sp) and alot of the bones in my foot just broke, went to bed one night and when I woke the next morning I couldn't walk. After several meeting with my podiatrist we decided to have surgery and repair the broken bones. The surgery went well and thought I was on the road to recovery, which I was. After several months I was fitted with a crow boot that supported mu foot and ankle, man this was an ugly and uncomfortable piece of equipment, but neccesarry. After a year or so of wearing this boot something changed in my foot and I began getting a sore that blistered up from the boot, and this is where the Osteomylitus entered my foot and leg.

    So now it led to amputation or die from the non-curable monster infection, not really a choice. Yet it still took me 6 weeks to say ok lets do it. I had to really get my head wrapped around the idea of loosing a limb, after all I have had it a few years. The surgery went well, as did my immediate recovery. Couldn't wait to get out of the hospital, it was during the COVID time and wasn't allowed any visitors at all, not even my wife. Well anyway got home into my bed and was there for more time than I want to think about felt like years, accept when I did get up on crutches from time to time. After about 2 weeks a wound care person came in 3 times a week for about 30 minuets to change the dressing and check the healing progress. That continued until recently say 8 weeks ago when my wound was healed well enough to start the process of getting a new leg.

    So now I have gone through the process of getting the new leg ( it is next to my chair in Living Room ) and now I have it. Now this is why I am here on Daily Strength today. Through this whole ordeal I have tried to maintain a strong, positive, and happy outlook knowing it will be better with Gods help. And I believe that I have been able to maintain that attitude, with the occasional self pitty moments that I allowed myself. Now here are the two things I am here about and would appreciate any insight or thoughts you may have on this.

1. I am beginning to become depressed about being alone all the time, as I have been since the surgery. I am stuck in my home by myself accept for when my wife gets home from work and her day off. Other than that I am here by myself unable at this time to go anywhere for days on end. I am starting to drive a little with my left leg, but that is only with my wife there until I get it down. 

2. Here is the big one!!!  I was so excitted to get my new leg, it means back to freedom I can stand and walk, and have alot of my old life back what a joy. But here is what is going on: When I go to put my leg on to practice I become excessively Angry and want to throw the leg out the window. It becomes so intense that I am not able to put it on. I have only had it on maybe 3 times since I brought it home, and have tried to put it on dozens of times without success. An anger I have never known is triggered by the New Leg.

Please if someone knows or can explain whats going on and maybe how to overcome it, I would be eternally greatful. Right now my wife is so mad at me for not learning how to walk with it that she is lets say unsure of our future. Well there you are thank you for spending the time reading my story and I hope to hear from some of you soon.

God Bless You All

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