It is a mixed blessing, Deb, but I grab every opportunity I can to escape for a few.
If Ron is in deep sleep I feel OK leaving for an hour or so. However,I never know what mess I may come home to, so these outings are
fraught with concern.
Even when my daughter or son come to stay for a longer time, I worry that they may have a nasty to deal with and rarely stay away long.
The onset of the poopy problems has really changed things for me.

I am so glad for every chance I get to get out and visit with someone who can engage in adult conversation...and so far Neal is good about not being grumpy when I come home.. I'm much more apt to find him worried that something has happened to me so when I'm out I make it a point to call him a couple of times to let him know where I am and about how much longer it will be before I should be home. that does seem to keep him from getting real freaked out.
Now that winter is on us I won't be going away unless I can take him with me or there is someone here wiht him. We need the wood stove going 24/7 now and I won't leave him home alone to deal with that.
There is also the growing concern over what kind of mess I'll find when I get home. So far there haven't been any of the poopy things to deal with but he can no longer really watch the dogs and make them mind. When Winter and I got home wensday the dogs had gotten into the garbage and it was spread all over the kitchen, they'd grabbed peices of firewood and took them onto the rug to chew and shred in comfort, the animals were all out of water and food and going nuts under our feet while we were trying to unload food and water and he was shadowing. It drove Winter nuts and she finaly told him to go sit in his chair and shed bring him a treat...I think it's good for her to have these experiences, gives her more insight to what my days are like.

And I just found out the lady from our local alzheimers that I've delt with for the last three years is moving to TN and we're not sure if we'll have a rep down here from the Alzheimers Ass. anymore....Julie was such a sweet heart and did everything she could to help so it's a bit scarey wondering if she'll be replaced or if we'll have to try to do everything through Anchorage which is 200 miles away.

Oh, I certainly hope they get some one to replace her, yipes.

Yea, I've come home to messes like before- love my dogs but dang, sometimes......

Ron stopped answering the phone about 18 months ago. I think it got so he couldn't understand what was being said. Plus he was
really losing his word about then.

Ron was and still is neat. He picks up, straightens things -pillows etc.
Thing is - he doesn't recognize most items now, so just throws everything away. I guess that is one way to get rid of clutter :-) This morning I pulled my fluffy duster and a new magazine out of the trash. It is another daily chore to check the waste baskets before I empty them. I really can't leave much laying around or he
will grab it and toss. He still has some sneakiness left, because he never does this in front of me. I think that is very funny.

I'm spraying Lysol and wiping every surface (whenever I have some energy). I sure hope he doesn't get this. He can't tell me what hurts or if something is wrong. I'm pretty sure this is H1N1..
This is not a cold. I am way too sick for a cold.

re: sneakiness, when my husband goes pee in the wrong place he is really sneaky about it , on some level he must sense it isn't right but maybe doesn't know where else to go and if I catch him he looks really ashamed (and no, I don't yell at him). He also likes to be neat and tidy, although his idea of neat is a little off but I put up with it because I know he means well, like we now know that we have to look at a plate or cup we take from the cupboard because it might not be clean.

Ron did that, too, Deb. He takes his food tray in the kitchen and puts the glass, dishes away in the cupboard. But he always puts his silverware in the sink. Odd behavior. I just try to go behind him and put them in the dishwasher.
When we are in the car and have a drink or fast food, he takes all the trash and empty things and puts them in the garbage. If this is one of his last cognitive traits.. it is a good one.

Oh how I wish Neal were neat, I wouldn't mind bringing things back out of the trash or cupboards after he put them there if he'd just pick things up but he won't...did up until about a year ago but now I'm lucky if he puts his candy wrapper on the table next to him instead of just tossing it on the floor.
A few months ago I'd bought him some of those pudding cups and he saw where they were on a shelf and after he figured out how to get them out of the four pack they were in he just stood there eating them and dropping the empty stuff on the floor along with the packaging.
There are so many things he just no longer seems to notice...This morning I dyed my hair (Winter bought the dye for me last night) and went from mostly grey and sliver to a medium blond with more redish brown highlights (it actualy looks like my hair did before all the silver invaded) so after ward I asked Neal if he noticed any difference, he didn't, told me if I'd gone purple or blue he might but he not only didn't notice he couldn't tell the difference after I'd told him what I did.
I guess there is a good side to that, in his mind I'm still the young, slender girl he married...he doesn't see the fat and wrinkles...that's nice, wish I didn't...then we'd both be happy.

Hi Deborah, you take your respite when you need it and believe me I know you do. You need a chance to catch your breathe. Enjoy it when you can. Then you can come back to your husband and feel refreshed.