Alzheimer's Disease Support Group
Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...
Hello,
I am new to this group. My name is Jane.
I am 25 & currently living at my parents' house (with my 95 y.o. maternal Nana who has always lived with us) & an adopted 18 mth sister.
It is very hard seeing nana like this, after she almost raised me while my parents worked.
Nana has had a couple strokes complete with hallucinations, & fallen many times despite close supervision. Some of these falls have cause a broken back, arm, ribs during the night, which never healed straight & causes her pain.
She has issues remembering where she is, or gets angry about her furniture being here though she has lived here for 20+ years.
She often forgets things (like the baby is asleep), minutes after we tell her & yells constantly, often waking her.
I am very concerned about my family. My mother is a breast cancer survivor, & my father is a triple bypass & colon cancer survivor.
They are under a lot of stress, & none of us seem to be able to get any sleep between nana & the baby. Neither work now.
I have my own issues. I am trying to get SSI. My fiance was wrongfully deported & my best friend was murdered by her ex, last winter.
I am worried about moving to join my fiance, due to our income, distance, & my family issues (they need what little help I can provide).
I just feel stressed to the max & lost as what to do, other than pray & hope things will be ok.
Any advice? Also, anyone know about free or cheap in-home respite care? Thank you, & nice to met you all. I wish the circumstances were different.
I am new to this group. My name is Jane.
I am 25 & currently living at my parents' house (with my 95 y.o. maternal Nana who has always lived with us) & an adopted 18 mth sister.
It is very hard seeing nana like this, after she almost raised me while my parents worked.
Nana has had a couple strokes complete with hallucinations, & fallen many times despite close supervision. Some of these falls have cause a broken back, arm, ribs during the night, which never healed straight & causes her pain.
She has issues remembering where she is, or gets angry about her furniture being here though she has lived here for 20+ years.
She often forgets things (like the baby is asleep), minutes after we tell her & yells constantly, often waking her.
I am very concerned about my family. My mother is a breast cancer survivor, & my father is a triple bypass & colon cancer survivor.
They are under a lot of stress, & none of us seem to be able to get any sleep between nana & the baby. Neither work now.
I have my own issues. I am trying to get SSI. My fiance was wrongfully deported & my best friend was murdered by her ex, last winter.
I am worried about moving to join my fiance, due to our income, distance, & my family issues (they need what little help I can provide).
I just feel stressed to the max & lost as what to do, other than pray & hope things will be ok.
Any advice? Also, anyone know about free or cheap in-home respite care? Thank you, & nice to met you all. I wish the circumstances were different.
Sounds like you have alot on your plate. A few different things are going through my mind right now. Not all are related so take what you like and ignore what you don't.
First your grandmother is your parent's responsibility. While it is wonderful that you wish to help out you need to remember that you need to make your own life. Not knowing the details I am guessing that your parents can probably handle this pretty much on their own. I was in a similar situation with my grandparents many years ago and couldn't understand why my parents pushed me away but now I can see that they wanted me to focus on my life.
As to your grandmother, has she been diagnosed with any specific brain disease? At 95 she may be suffering simply from memory loss or dementia due to aging. But she could also have Alzheimers or other conditions that are causing her problems. Given her accidents she may also be in pain that she can't express other than her outbursts. A good geriatric doctor should be able to diagnose and prescribe meds that will keep her calm and pain free. This would make the home life better for everyone.
Life is never simple, we all deal with many different issues at the same time. The only defense we have is to try to eliminate as much stress as possible. Simplify things. If you can find a good geriatric doctor he will prescribe medications and can also direct you to the programs and agencies in your area that can offer care. Depending on her and your parents (if they are claiming her as a dependant) financial status she may qualify for medicaid and some home or daycare. Again usually the best place to start is the doctors office.
Hope this helps. I'm sure others will have suggestions as well.
Good luck.
Sharon
I have found so much help coming here and I hope you do too.
As far as inexpensive inhome respite that is more likely if you get someone NOT through an agency...but you'd want the person to be checked out and have proper credentials...BUT since it is your grandmother who would be the client for care, maybe SHE qualifies for some respite through your local Area Agency on Aging....
i grew up in a large extended family and was close to all my grandparents so I know that is a special relationship. But I'm sure on some level your parents are aware that at your age it is very appropriate for you to be off into your own life.....You have grief of your own and other issues to deal with...Would a support group for family and friends of murder victims help...this has to be very traumatic to process...
From the timing you relate in your post it sounds like all of these things have been in place for a while...your parents had health issues when the baby was adopted, your grandmother has been sick for a while and declining....etc. Maybe it is time to consider another arrangement for your grandmother if your parents cannot cope with their own issues and the new baby in addition to her....?
Wishing you the best....