You mean husbands can actually apologize?? Just kidding, I know you're upset. You shouldn't be really, because it just sounds like a normal, loving little spat that all couples have. When my husband first retired, he followed me around so much, one day I told him I had so much work to do, he would have to "entertain" himself for awhile. Wrong choice of words! He didn't speak to me for two days and I had to do a lot of apologizing! Hang in there, it'll be better in the morning!

Don't beat yourself up. We all do it occasionally. A couple days ago I was trying to get my husband to take his shoes off so I could change
his Depends. He just sat there.. blank. I was tugging and tugging and said "CAN'T YOU HELP A LITTLE BIT??? " Of course, he can't.
I always feel crappy and guilty when I raise my voice .. But we are only human and have our limits.

I am beginning to think Ron doesn't understand much of what I'm saying anymore. He responds to my tone, but not my words.

Judy

Judy, I think you're right, I think he doesn't really understand you. From your posts I think my husband is just a few steps behind yours and many times I have to repeat myself or simplify my instructions. He says, "I didn't hear you" but I think he says that when he really doesn't understand. The job I wanted him to do today was help me pull the hose to water the flowers, he kept pulling it away from me and I wanted him to bring me more.

You think you're telling them in the simplest terms and then you realize that they still don't get it and then you get frustrated, I know, it's human but I still feel kind of bad about it.

You are right.. they don't understand. Last night my husb was brushing his teeth. When he finished I told him to turn the water off. He was just blank. I put his hand on the faucet handle and said "turn it off". He still didn't get it. I put his hand under the water and again 'said " turn it off". He was just blank. So I turned it off and he said "thank you". I really don't know what is going on in his mind.
I just wing it.

Good Morning,
Wow this could be my husband right down to the socks and depends. You want to yell at the top of your lungs some days but then he won't talk to me and worst he will start crying. I know he can't understand but some times I think just a little help with your socks His new thing is when every I leave the room he keeps asking were are you, even though I am just in the next room.He has also started complaining that those two guys that are always in the house won't do anything.Has anybody read the book I'm still Alice? If you haven't it well worth the read. It gives an interesting insight to what one might be going through .Hope all of you have a good holiday. Thanks for yiur help GB

When I got my husband up this morning - he was wearing my BRAND NEW SHIRT ! I had washed it.. hung it in the laundry room as it needed some ironing. I know he gets up and prowls around at night after I go to bed. Lord only knows what goes on here in the
wee hours :-) I find pop cans and half eaten food almost every morning.

I know it is so hard somedays not to snap at them and of couse we all feel like real heels when we do but hey we are only human too, is that still or yet? and there is only so much stress any one person can tolerate at a time before something has to give even if it's just a bit.

Most days my hubby just sits in his chair and in so many ways that is better. Once I get him up and moving he tends to shadow me and that's when Im more likely to snap at him. It's bad enough haveing the dogs and a herd of cats underfoot at my every turn but to add a 6'3", 330 pound man to the mix just drives me nuts some days, more so when I'm really tired or in a hurry.
Yesterday morning was one of those really blank days for him. I had told him the night before and again several times in the morning that he had to see his doctor and we'd be going to town. So when I told him it was time for him to get up and change clothes he leaned forward in his chair and got stuck. He forgot what he was doing, was he just sitting down, was he getting up and if he was getting up why? I managed to get him going and he was pretty good after that until we got home with the groceries (yeah after a fun hour of waiting to see the doc we had to go shopping so much fun I can't stand it). He really did good helping me unload things but then he was right on my tail until I told him it was time for him to go rest. He is such a sweetie and it breaks my heart to see him so confused. He is another one who seems to fear what is going to happen to him, he keeps telling me he doesn't know how he could live if anything happened to me. More then he fears his condition he fears losing me and the care I give him.

I now what you mean, sometimes I am so thankful when he naps in his chair- I sure can get a lot done during that time! My husband also worries about if something happens to me. I think that is where the shadowing comes in, they KNOW we are their connection to everything, their life line so they have to make sure they know where we are at all times. I also think that is why he tries not to get angry at me or make sure I am not angry at him. He did eventually settle down a bit yesterday but not quite, even right before he went to sleep I noticed he was fidgeting (I always read before bed and he usually falls asleep while I am reading). I asked him if something was wrong and he said "I hope i don't have to go anywhere that I can just stay here." I reminded him again that he is my husband and that we live together and we take care of each other. He was so relieved and then he fell asleep.

I havent read others posts. Sometimes I do that so I dont get my thoughts confussed with others. What I would say to you is YOUR HUMAN. I think any couple who is together many hours in a day have spats like this. This is one time I hope he forgets what happened and both of you can go forward from this point. Dont beat yourself up. It is hard to hear the same thing over and over or explain something over and over. Marcia

I have been trying to cope with my husband's Alzheimer's Disease for 6 years. After sobbing fests, anxiety attacks, sleeplessness, and total devastation at the personality changes, rages, and tantrums Alzheimer's Disease brought to my once loving husband, I started a website just for spouses of Alzheimer patients. It is full of information, resources, news, videos, and message boards filled with spouses who understand the unique issues Alzheimer's Disease brings to a marriage. Log onto www.thealzheimerspouse.com, and see what we are all about.

Thank you, I checked it out and there was alot of good stuff there.