This might seem a strange time to be writing about this but I thought it could be of some benefit to other people to know how I first realized I had a problem with some type of dementia that after CT scans highlighted the problem as being Mixed Dementia (Alzheimers, Vascular Dementia and Parkinsons disease)

The notes herein dont necessarily follow any set pattern they were just written as and when I noticed the changes in myself over a period of one year.
I hope this will give other people some idea of the effect that Alzheimers or any other type of Dementia has on the brain of which there is no rhyme or explanation except to say that all logic goes out of the window...

Maybe some of you have been diagnosed with Dementia or maybe youre frightened in case you fall foul of Dementia all I can say is, although this is a devastating illness for both the person and the family Dont be scared as normally in the Early stages there is no bodily pain, except for the that deep sense of anguish in your heart and soul from not being able to do things the way you used to and then the realization of how it will have an effect on your spouse and family.

The point is that unlike some illnesses such as a cold or headache you can tell very quickly what the problem is But Dementia is in no way like that as it seems to creep up on you from behind, its very subtle, furtive, and devious and the chances are you wont even know you have a problem until maybe your family or friends notice changes in your demeanor, or it could be that like myself over a period of time you will start to notice changes in yourself and fortunately wrote them down

Listed out below is how I concluded I had a problem, but you should remember that its not necessarily the same way for any two people as the illness seems to affect us all in different ways and at different stages of its progression


From my diary notes, January 2004-2005

Fuzziness in the head like morning after the night before

Keep getting confused at what Im doing

Getting disorientated when out shopping and in crowded areas

No interest in working at my profession or anything anymore...

Keep forgetting what Im doing or why Im doing it

Keep wandering around the house not knowing and forget why

Loose of balance as though Im going to fall over

Eye sight has got very bad, they hurt when I watch TV, vision blurred

Forgetting the names of people I should know

Forget what Im reading or what Ive just read

Getting the shakes down my right arm and leg when I relax

Cant plan things or calculate my recipes anymore

Making a meal or the bed is very difficult for me now

Vivid memories of my past life, but forget what happened yesterday

Cant remember where I put things

Must write things down otherwise I forget in a matter of minutes...

Hand writing and spelling has become a problem

Lose my temper quickly and get very agitated

Get very depressed

Keep crying and for no apparent reason

My speech has become slurred and cant find the right words when talking and forget what Im talking about

Cant remember how to use the computer and forgetting how to do new things when Im shown

Sleeping habits keep changing now I cant sleep of a night time, and keep waking up for the toilet

Cant concentrate or comprehend my simple crosswords anymore

All thoughts of Romanic sexual interest have gone

Any small sound makes me extremely jumpy

Yes the list is long and over the past six years some aspects have now slowly become worse, others have eased-up thanks to the excellent specialized medication yet still everyday seems to bring something new, I guess you could say you have a surprise everyday. But just remember and keep telling yourself like I do that youre not the only one with the illness and its associated problems, so I keep telling myself to be positive of mind in the fact that Im not alone.

Barry