This seems to be one of the major sticking points for a lot of AD patients; it is one of the main reasons why we had to put my dad in a nursing home; we could NOT get him to bathe! And he would get violent if you tried to push the issue. My main suggestion would be to get someone who has experience with AD patients to help. Try not to make a fight out of it, as that will only make things worse! Also, if you have access to a walk-in shower, it may help. But do not be surprised if you have to find another solution; this is a big problem with a lot of them, as there were others in Dad's nursing home who were only there because of the bathing problem. Good luck!

Lynne, thanks for your help on this. I will keep trying to get her to bathe more..I just cannot put her into a home,at least not yet.
Phyllis

Is there an Alzheimers support group in your area? If so, maybe they have a line on some sort of in-home help you can get, someone who has the training to deal with this. Believe me, this is much easier when handled by an outsider, for some reason, maybe an authority thing! Anyway, see what you can find out; wt the very least, the support group will be a help to you in other ways.

I sometimes have the same problem with my husband and find that if everything is already when I lead him to his bath it goes much smoother.
He will tell me he's had a bath and changed his clothes then I'll say something like o.k. but lets have another one because it's been so hot and we are going to town, shopping or visiting whatever and how nice it would be to be all fresh. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't but he has been pretty used to me telling him to do these things even before developing the AD.

We have same problem with my Dad. My sister, who he lives with, even bought one of those chair things to go in the tub. She has walk-in type shower and she couldn't get him in that either. Last time he was here for a week, I tried unsuccessfully until I came up with idea of washing his pjs and telling that I had washed them so let's get you clean too...he said no at first until I told him that my husband would stay in there with him...he headed straight to bathroom then. I think for some as with my Dad, they are afraid of falling. My husband actually did most of the bathing...I told hubby next time he should put on bathing suit first!
And to get him to change clothes I sometimes with point at a stain or something and say let me wash this for you...works most of the time. Also just go in and take clothes after he goes to bed...if he is still awake I just tell him that I was doing a load of clothes and thought I'd throw his in too.
Hope this helps! It is so hard because they do have a tendency to get anger when you push them too much.

The way I get my mom to shower is to tell her she needs to get her hair washed, this works most of the time, but other times she'll say her back iches and I tell her that her skin needs water cause it is so dry. We are working on a routine with a posted weekly scheduale of what needs to be done each day and it helps for them to see it in writing and if you say okey today is monday what are we surpose to do have them NOT you go look. This is working for now and I have my fingers crossed it continues too.

By & large, AD patients fear water. Can you get her to take a tub bath? If so, let her watch the water run into tub, only about 4 inches. It looks too deep to them otherwise. Try a shower chair in the tub & shower. Don't discuss anything w/her, but get the house quiet, altho soothing background music may help. Have everything set up so there's no standing around half dressed, waiting. Bathroom should be right temp. Have dirty clothes out of sight & fresh one ready. Make up any story--after the shower we're going to get a choc sundae, etc. Get a hand-held showerhead for tub & shower so you can move water around and not have it come down on her. Get into the shower yourself and try to coax her in w/you. Maybe she'll do it w/the boyfriend. Use fluffy sponges & good smelling shower gel, test water temp. Tell her you are going to wash her back, arms, whatever in advance, but don't rush her, her responses are getting slower & more confusing. Give her her own washcloth or rubber ducky, but no bar of soap, to keep her hands busy. If she's modest let her wear her underwear or wrap a towel around her. Use baby shampoo for hair but if she won't let you wash it, use dry shampoo later. Have grab bars within easy reach and stick-on decorations and mat on shower/tub floor. Often enough it takes two people to bathe or shower them.

If all else fails, try a sponge bath, either at the sink or on the bed. Don't let her see the basin of water. Always promise a treat--we'll get that ice cream as soon as we're finished. Let us know how any of this works out.

My mom hates showers and is unable to get in a bath anymore so her support worker sponges her from head to toe 2 times weekly and she will bend over a sink to get her hair washed
I take away soiled clothes and leave clean ones I also have an antipsychotic to give as necessary and I requested it due to the difficult unreasonable times and is works well
Bless you one and all
Haylie

With my grandmother we have Clean Sheet Day. We treat it like a real celebration. She is convinced that "every one knows, you have to shower before going to bed on Clean Sheet Day." It's silly, I know, but it has become a habit that she enjoys.

We had the same problem with bathing. With the caregivers it is not an option and they make her do it. Luckily there is no tantrums with them. Even though they can't remember much I think they know they can manipulate close family. Most caregiver services have people who are trained in dealing with AD & those types of issues.

You could have the caregiver say "I don't want my boss Mr. Smith to get mad if I don't do my job. He said that I have to wash all the clothes today. So will you help me and put this on?"

Shower: "Before we can go to the thrift store-- we have to take a shower. Would you go first and show me how the water spigots work--they're different from the ones at my house." When she says she has already had a shower, say, "Well...could you help me out this once?"
It's worth a shot.
good luck,
queenie

My Mother was also adamently opposed to baths or showers. There is some fear of this that develops in AD patients. One of the "tricks" we used was to tell her we were going out after she got in the shower. And we did just to make sure we weren't lying and her expecations were met. Good luck, this is a true challeng.