Alzheimer's Disease Support Group
Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...
As I could have predicted there is tension with his family and mine, nothing has happened yet but I am worried.
I sent his eldest daughter (the sanest one in the whole family) an email a week ago telling her that her dad was near the end. She said she would try to come by if she could find a ride. Well, she didn't find a ride, in the whole family not one person had time to make the drive in the whole ten days. She asked me to call her and I said, "No, I will not call you." I would not speak with anyone in the family but they could text or email me for any information.
Since no one made it while he was alive I kind of was wondering if they were coming to the funeral. To my shock his daughter said EVERYONE would be coming to the funeral!
I texted her and said I would like for them to stay on one side and my family on the other, she said ok.
I really don't want them to come. I am really afraid of drama, from them and even from my own kids. My kids are not only hurting but they are also angry that his own family never lifted a finger. Now that he is gone any hope they had that his family would pull their heads out of their butts is gone. I can see one of my kids making a smart ass remark and then everyone getting upset. I have talked to them about it and they don't want drama either but I know emotions are high right now.....
I sent his eldest daughter (the sanest one in the whole family) an email a week ago telling her that her dad was near the end. She said she would try to come by if she could find a ride. Well, she didn't find a ride, in the whole family not one person had time to make the drive in the whole ten days. She asked me to call her and I said, "No, I will not call you." I would not speak with anyone in the family but they could text or email me for any information.
Since no one made it while he was alive I kind of was wondering if they were coming to the funeral. To my shock his daughter said EVERYONE would be coming to the funeral!
I texted her and said I would like for them to stay on one side and my family on the other, she said ok.
I really don't want them to come. I am really afraid of drama, from them and even from my own kids. My kids are not only hurting but they are also angry that his own family never lifted a finger. Now that he is gone any hope they had that his family would pull their heads out of their butts is gone. I can see one of my kids making a smart ass remark and then everyone getting upset. I have talked to them about it and they don't want drama either but I know emotions are high right now.....
Tell your kids that his family made their choice and to be respectful to Rollie, they need to just act like these people are strangers or are totally invisible. To cause any kind of scene would put them down on the same level as his family and that they can be bigger than that.
Your family can stand tall and proud for the way they loved and cared for Rollie. His family will have to live with the way they have treated him.
Hope things go well
Hugs .....Carolyn
Your family can stand tall and honor dear Rollie...
I pray it all goes smoothly for you ...you don't need this now. Shut it out and consentrate on yourself and Rollie....
this is a time to practice Zen warfare.....pay NO attention to them, say nothing..... and if they come after any of you in any way, with even a comment, let it land in the air totally unattended as they unattended Rollie.
As they push anything at any of you, let the momentum of their pushing it have them fall flat on their own faces then just walk past them and continue on.......they made themselves invisible...so...they are...let it be so......
With you and your family-- Rollie's real family.......
hugs......
I totally agree that the funeral is not the time for any confrontations.
Keep it polite out of respect for Rollie.
Your emotions are going to be high that day and the last thing
you need is any kind of additional drama.
best of luck Deb.
In the meantime I will say a prayer and keep my fingers crossed.
It really is true that we reap what we sow.Do not allow them to make it anymore difficult for you.Blessings.....Cheryl
truth will prevail..... and you and your family, i am sure, will continue to honor Rollie.
i will keep you in prayer.....
i agree with the other responses too.
hugs....
So celebrate that :-)
Judy's right! You'll never have to see them again.
If "they" start anything... just give them a small smile ( no teeth)
and think to yourself... ' give it your best shot because it IS your
last shot '..
Be smug. Drive them nuts.