Alzheimer's Disease Support Group
Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...
It is with such a heavy heart that I type this all out, but I feel it needs to be done.
I work in Alzheimer's care (and absolutely adore it) but obviously by the time they reach the facility the progress of the disease is relatively well advanced.
However, it is not one of my residents I am speaking of. It is a family member. I am curious to everyone else's experiences as to when they started to suspect alzheimers with their loved ones and how it was dealt with?
we are deeply concerned about my MIL. she is only in her 50's, however, her mother also passed from early-onset alzheimers. At first, we had brushed most of it off as attention-getting tactics (she is also known for this), however, it has advanced to a point where I am relatively convinced.
she is totally convinced that people are breaking into her house and doing things. these things can range from (and I will quote what she is saying): stealing mail, putting DVD's in the dvd player that she didn't watch, stealing things and then bringing them back and putting them in different places, starting her car, etc.
at different times she has become convinced that the government is living in the neighborhood. she reads into everything way too much. she saw a car with FB1 in the license plate and was totally convinced it was an FBI agent spying on her. She made my kids lay down on the floor because this truck kept driving by and she said it was spying on her...it was the neighbor. one night she received spam mail that said something like, "more delicious than the last slice of chocolate cake you ate!" and she flipped out and broke her computer because she said someone put spyware on it since she had eaten cake. she was convinced that there was spy cameras in her cable box, so she unplugged it and said that suddenly all the neighbors came outside to walk their dogs and everything. So, obviously they were all in on spying on her. she says that scratches in her tables are way deeper than what she did, so someone is making it worse.
anyway, I could go on and on about this. Currently, we are all working on finding her a new place to live. We figure that when she claims the same things are still happening in a new place that will give us the opportunity to talk about it. But, I wanted to know if anyone else has any advice.
I work in Alzheimer's care (and absolutely adore it) but obviously by the time they reach the facility the progress of the disease is relatively well advanced.
However, it is not one of my residents I am speaking of. It is a family member. I am curious to everyone else's experiences as to when they started to suspect alzheimers with their loved ones and how it was dealt with?
we are deeply concerned about my MIL. she is only in her 50's, however, her mother also passed from early-onset alzheimers. At first, we had brushed most of it off as attention-getting tactics (she is also known for this), however, it has advanced to a point where I am relatively convinced.
she is totally convinced that people are breaking into her house and doing things. these things can range from (and I will quote what she is saying): stealing mail, putting DVD's in the dvd player that she didn't watch, stealing things and then bringing them back and putting them in different places, starting her car, etc.
at different times she has become convinced that the government is living in the neighborhood. she reads into everything way too much. she saw a car with FB1 in the license plate and was totally convinced it was an FBI agent spying on her. She made my kids lay down on the floor because this truck kept driving by and she said it was spying on her...it was the neighbor. one night she received spam mail that said something like, "more delicious than the last slice of chocolate cake you ate!" and she flipped out and broke her computer because she said someone put spyware on it since she had eaten cake. she was convinced that there was spy cameras in her cable box, so she unplugged it and said that suddenly all the neighbors came outside to walk their dogs and everything. So, obviously they were all in on spying on her. she says that scratches in her tables are way deeper than what she did, so someone is making it worse.
anyway, I could go on and on about this. Currently, we are all working on finding her a new place to live. We figure that when she claims the same things are still happening in a new place that will give us the opportunity to talk about it. But, I wanted to know if anyone else has any advice.
Now she blames the aids at the nursing home, they are stealing her stuff.
Honey, you need to get your MIL help. Get her to the doctor, there are some meds, but they only work for early onset. Later, they have anti psychotic meds that help. I live in Canada, our social workers help us with these things and help in placing our parents, but if you are in the States, there are others who will give you better advice. If you join Caring for Aging Parents, they will help you lots.
I read all of the posts on here, and I truly hope my dad doesn't get like this. It sounds very hard to go through, and very sad too.
My dad doesn't hear things, or think anyone is doing anything to him, or see things. That's a good sign, right? My dad pretends not to hear my mom because she is so annoying and nags him so much, but talks to me very coherently, over 4 years after mom claims she was told by a doctor he has it.
How long after the first signs that the loved ones you all have on here started having, did these things start to happen. My dad loses his cane, and his wallet, not much else. I lost things!
I don 't know if I have a right as his daughter to talk to his doctor if my mom has been the one talking to them.
a couple weeks ago she called my husband and started yelling at him and telling him he needed to call his dad and tell him to just knock it off. that she KNOWS it is him sending people to break into her house and to scare her and she knows that we are in on it. My husband lost it and said that the only reason he is involved in anything is because she pulls him into it. she kept yelling. Then she started saying that her landlord says that anything that is broken in her house is because of our kids (my kids have been there one time in the passed month and only a handful of times since the new year.) he finally just flat out said, "you have early onset alzhiemers. you need help." We stopped talking to her.
Somehow in her mind she worked it out that we were made at her for the comment about our kids. She kept attempting to call or text, we did not respond. Finally, yesterday, after a phone call and voicemail she left i sent her a text telling her that we were sorry, but she is displaying many signs of early onset alzhiemers and that we are encouraging her to seek mental help. we love her, but our children cannot be within her care until this happens. all hell broke loose. she called my husband in an absolute rage insisting that she absolutely does NOT have it. any signs that we have seen is because of medication problems, NOT alzhiemers and i am the rudest person for saying so. the whole family talks behind our back and she has made the mistake of defending us and she wont anymore. she is a good mother and she is appalled that we are treating her this way, etc.
did i really handle it that badly? we have been trying to YEARS to nicely encourage her, but it is not happening. the way i see it, either A) she is having delusions and my children are not safe in her care. or B) someone is breaking into her house and my children are not safe in her care. I feel like an absolute shit person. I feel horrible and guilty, but i dont feel it is fair for me to risk my childrens safety because of her feelings on the matter? am i totally out of line?
how old are your kids? I mean, she will operate on autopilot as a granny, and they won't come to any harm, and they may help her. Stimulation helps alzheimers sufferers.
Activity is good for them. Getting out and about helps them a lot and having visitors helps them a lot. So to stop her seeing the grand kids is counterproductive. Also you want to naturally teach the kids how to treat you, when you have it. So it's good to visit and take the kids and they will absorb by osmosis how they are going to handle you when it's your turn.