We had a nice visit with Rollie's 'head' doctor. Well, as nice as someone with Alzheimer's can have. He asked Rollie, 'How are you today?' and Rollie answered, 'I'm fine. I brought my friend." His doctor said, "Oh, you have demoted her to friend?" I smiled about that. Rollie did not get the joke and his doctor had done it on purpose because he was trying to get Rollie to tell him who I was, my name, my relation, etc. Rollie could not. He kept looking at me, saying, 'I know, I know, but I just can't think exactly...".

Rollie's inability to recognize me and the people he lives with on a consistent, regular (he does recognize us about 50% of the time) basis puts him in the Advanced Stage since the doctors reference, mild, moderate, advanced. He explained that with early on set, like Rollie has, he is near the end, however, he could live another 10 , unlikely but possible, more likely less than 2. At this point I must give him food in small portions because his throat may actually 'forget' how to work. I had already started to do that because he can't manage a fork and knife anymore.

His doctor does not want me to give him the bladder medicine, he would rather I encouraged him to utilize Depends. The bladder medicine causes further confusion in dementia patients and at this point we can't afford any more confusion. The issues at this point are going to be danger of falls, accidents due to confusion, wandering (like into traffic), infectious diseases that could lead to pneumonia.

His regular doctor has stopped the Plavix (feels like it isn't a risk anymore) but is keeping him on his blood pressure meds.

He told me that he wants to encourage all of us in contact him with to not say things like "Do you remember me?" or "You have Alzheimer's" He feels like the patients do have a level of understanding about what is wrong and this is a painful reminder to them and can cause them additional stress.

Rollie's doctor was (and always has been) extremely patient. I know that Rollie is one of his favorites. He took me aside and talked to me privately. I told him that I looked at some nursing facilities but that I do not feel that I can bring myself to put him in one of them. I just want to keep Rollie at home as long as possible. He said that patients live longer outside of homes. He told me the signs to look for, in caregiver stress. He told me to make sure that I do get away and to NOT feel guilty about leaving him in the hands of his caregiver or other trustworthy people. It is critical that I make time for myself if I am to continue to care for him at home. He told me that he has been a doctor for a long time and has seen many, many couples and families and he said that I am a rare person. He said that he can tell people who are genuine and people who are fake and that I am one of the most loving and devoted wives he has seen, ever. He said he feels good that Rollie is with me because he KNOWS he does not have to worry- that I will do what is right for Rollie even if others may not agree with me. He said he knows that we have the most important thing in our home- love. Of course I cried. He gave me a hug when we left and Rollie gave him a hug. Then Rollie patted him on the head, which is funny because the doctor is actually a VERY short man. The doctor said, "I am glad to see you still have your sense of humor, Mr. Pierce."

So, I will just continue to do the best I can and sharing these things helps me to release the stress so thank you for reading.