Happens to me occasionally. And to boot, I'm a speech pathologist and have long care term experience with feeding,swallowing, and communication issues. I say something tactfully (but w/ an absolute in my voice)--" I'm aware of that...she's in Stage 6." Most folks don't understand/ know about the stages and that shuts them up. :-)
I think the reason it shuts them up is because they went from thinking they 'know' to seeing that I 'know' a bit more. So get familiar with your stages and you can pull the same stunt, Most folks are truly concerned...it depends on my mood and how easily I can change the subject. My favorite too is when they say, "My friend's mother" or "My friend's husband." No offense, but I don't care how they progressed in the disease to their death because I don't know that person. People in general don't do very well with sickness/ death because it hits them 'emotionally.' So I think they run to their 'intellect' trying to make me feel better...
Hope this helped.
Queenie

Yes, I get that too. I also get "he seems just the same to me" from people who rarely see them and then when we run into them it's just for a second so all they basicly get from him is a "hi".
I tell them he seems the same because they aren't really seeing him. But for the most part I just ignore them, I know friends care even though most do not want to be around, as Queen said most people do not deal well with illness, particularly the type that is terminal. I blame it on our culture and how we've hidden people away in care facilities instead of dealing wiht them at home as was done in the past. We've sanitised illness and death and have lost much in the process.

We especially don't do well with mental illness in this culture. My husband, only 60, said he remembers his aunt was mentally ill when he was a boy and they never let her go anywhere, not to town, not to church, no where. She just stayed on the farm. And no one talked about it.

When people say, "he seems ok to me" I say, well, that's because you aren't with him 24/7. That shuts them up.

For me the only thing I really want to hear are things like, "that must be tough", "do you have enough support?", "is there anything I can help you with?"

I love Captain Obvious! I am going to borrow it for the two dimwits in our community that tell me that I must be wrong about my husband's condition because he ALWAYS recognizes them. Like they are special! Actually he says hello when he sees them at our local community center. He says hello to everyone he sees there because he thinks he should know everyone.

I think GeorgiaW is right when she says people don't really see him; they just ignore him or say hello and keep going. They act like it might rub off on them if they get to close. Men seem to be worse than women.

Othet people who are the closest to us , will not face the facts
alzhhimers, we are going to get worse. Theres no doubt about it.
If they would just read the information on it, and go to groups on it , they might understand whats happenuing to us,

I get that too. Like I don't know its going to get worse. The one that get me are those who say "If there is anything I can do just ask" But when I ask them to come visit him, take him out for an hour or so (to give me a break), or just give him a call. They say they will but I never hear from them again. Old friends and even family don't visit much anymore or even call. I'm getting used to it, but it still hurts.

Since I have AD I can act as goofy as I want to. Wen someone says something out of sort to me I just cross my eyes and say no s_ _ t. It really catches them off guard. I do not always say that is just depends on the person and situation. Most time people find a reason to get away from me as fast as they can because they really do not know much about it except all the crap they have heard or impressions they have from never having dealth with it. I also repley it may not get worse if I die first, that really stops them with their mouths usually wide open. I am a smart mouth at times but I really just do not do well with people that are not too bright and at times very inconsiderate. Most times tho, I only deal with people that I know and they are aware of where I am at and what is going on so my future does not really come up, they just want to know how I am doing now and do not get in converstaion about the future. God Bless Phil & Flops

I wish somebody would tell me just how it gets worse? Ive only got books and papers to rely on.This disease is very scarey.

Phil, you are funny, A few years ago my husband said something funny after he was diagnosed- "I was in the grocery store and someone asked me where the vegetables were....I told them, I'm right here!"

Hope- I know how you feel about people avoiding you and it really makes me angry. In our case it is his own adult children.

Even my mom and my family doctor said this to me. Gee thanks. And he knows I went through this with my dad so not like he was giving me any new information.

I live in a 55+ retirement community and a lot of my older neighbors who took care of their parents keep telling me these horror stories about wandering and trying to keep their parent at home until then.

I think people don't know what to say. Sometimes it's frutrating but other times it grounds me in reality.

I like your attitude - you can laugh at it. That sure helps.

kat there are many ways it can get worse ususaly starting with their inability to remember something that's just been said or done. They can forget to eat and start hording small bites of food in odd places or putting things in odd places.
Many forget how to dress themselves, how to eat by themselves so they must be fed or they will just starve since the part of the brain that tells them they are hungry no longer functions or the message doesn't reach a part that will cause them to seek food. Drinking enough water is another big problem, dehydration is a huge issue in later stages and that often occurs about the time people have trouble swallowing so the danger of choaking ans aspirating is always present.
Eventualy many lose the ability to walk and talk, they just forget how so most of their days are spent in beds or chairs doing nothing, understanding nothing that is going on around them and unable to participate in their own daily life.
Some people forget who everyone is, some only forget a few. My MIL totaly forgot one of her daughters near the end and remembered she had two sons but refused to believe my BIL was not my husband. We have six grandchildren but my husband only remembers that there are three of them but so far he still remembers how many children we have.
With older AD patients "normal" old age issues like pnumonia often take them before they can experience some of the more horrible effects of this disease. Since they are younger and usualy more healthy early onset AD patients can live until they are totaly unable to do anything but lay in bed often moaning and crying out for no reason that we can understand. I saw this with a foster father who lay rigid in bed and cried and screamed perodicaly throughout the day and night. Was he in pain? There is no way to tell, nothing else about him changed when he cried out but it is very heart rendering for friends and family to see and hear.
Prepare for the worst while praying for the best.

This is just my opinion, but I think the person that is telling you "it gets worse" probably has experienced it first hand how hard it gets, and feels obligated to let you know not meaning to make you feel ignorant about it, but just to let you know. I mean, I've never experienced this much heartache, as it has been with my mom. It is so hard to see a person who had once been such a normal functioning person that loved their home and took their responsibilities seriously just suddenly started looking out the window one day trying to figure out where she was. Then on mother's day in 2006 went off and run me to death driving her around trying to satisfy her by pretending I was taking her to her childhood home. I would drive her for a while, and most of the time when I got her home she would be back to herself and be home for a while, and sometimes when I pulled in the driveway after driving her, she would just sit there and ask who lives here? I would back out and drive her some more then that quit working and I had to put her in a home then it went even further downhill from there. Now I don't have her anymore, she was such a wonderful christian mother and sacrificed so much for her children. I think when I get her headstone fixed for her grave I'm going to write on it "gone home". I loved her dearly and miss her so much. Thank you for letting me ramble on.

Nadine, I think that would be a nice thing to do. And I think you are probably right in that people are trying to be nice and helpful even though it seems like a dumb statement.