((((((((((((((((((Deborah)))))))))))))))))))))))

Its been that kind of weekend here too. But...she isnt even in my house. Go figure.

J

Do you remember the time .. a couple years ago... Ron said "Lets's go " every 7 seconds for an entire day. I was about ready to plunge a screwdriver in one of our heads... after 10,000 "let's go's".. I didn't much care whose head...

I know...

The sound of snoring, music to my ears, I will try to watch Pride and Prejudice (for the millionth time) and cheer myself up. One day maybe Mr. Darcy will come and sweep me away.......

oh, Deb...I know too, we had that weekend here too...absolutely NUTS! After Ron resisted doing everything including going up the stairs to bed, I ended up having to put him on the floor at the bottom of the stairs as he fell asleep on the bottom stair.....three hours later we got up and I got him upstairs to bed.....there were many other shining examples of life gone totally beserk.....I'm there...

the good news is P&P...if Mr. Darcy comes, please clone him and send him to Ma., ok?


many hugs

in mem-- you made me laugh. Isn't it it amazing that you are able to share with people who understand someone sleeping on the steps! I mean how could anyone possible imagine that if they hadn't lived through what we're living through.

I can sympathize with you. I had mom here in the house for 5 years and I thought she would drive me crazy. I became so bitter and mean toward her. I could not show my love toward her, because I was always mad at her. I took everything so personal, but now I understand. It was not her fault! I feel bad about it, but after all we are only human!
We should try to learn as much as we can about this disease. I am so thankful now, that I can go visit her and be there for her 2 times a day and go home and have a real life.
I understand exactly what you are going through! It will get better!
Eventually they will not be able to do anything. They will just sit, look and sleep. This is my guess. I see them in the nursing home they are lifeless. Its hard to see them like that. They seem to live in their own world. Mom used to be so active. Now she is not able to get up on her own. She just sits on her wheel chair. She cant feed herself. Has very limited understanding of what is going on around and very limited vocabulary. This terrible disease takes our loved one a little at a time. I often think. It is better to have a heart attack. I know its terrible to think this way!
Its easier now than it was. I work @ home and I have an assistant. Nur. Home is close by, so I can go to the home at lunch to feed her and walk her and change her. I also go in the evening to feed her dinner and put her to bed. By the end of the day I am so tired. All I can do is watch TV and go to bed.
Take some time for yourself if you can.
God will reward you for caring for your husband!
pina

Deb; I could have written your words ver batom!!! It seems there are several of us just about at the same point in this disease.

It has nothing to do with lack of love anymore it is the ability to survive another day. This whole thing is really surreal!Sometimes I can't believe it is really happening yet I wake up to it again every day ....and then there is a time every day I look over at him and just tear up for the poor guy...but the thing is his body is here but he isn't.

I have decided against the CT scan they want to do...WHY? If they found a tumor or something I wouldn't have him go through Chemo anyway! Its his weight loss that is prompting it, but that could just as easily be a notual progression. I will do the PT and the blood tests...but I actually think the CT scan would scare him anyway. Why do we have to make these awful decisions and feel like monsters. If he had his way he would shoot himself and not prolong this. God help us all..to get through this and make decisions we can live with.

Hugs Sher

Seriously? He woke up at 5:30 today and insisted on getting out of bed. I am NOT happy to see him this morning. I want to get in my car and drive away.

When my wayne was first diagnosed he said he wanted to retire but not like this....I noticed his memory problems 3 years before he got diagnosed but he refused to go to the Dr.

then it became such a problem at work that he had to do something. First the diagnoses then quitting work because he just couldn't do it anymore...he stays so tired all the time now he is down in the back and we will find out about his MRI today. My son had to come help me with the garden yesterday he just couldn't do it....i'd rather just forget it cause i have enough to do but he wants it....

I just can't believe how lucky I am to have you all as friends. I can't even remember how I found Daily Strength but the name couldn't be more appropriate. I have been in the exact same place where you all are and am not at the moment; but we all know how soon that can change.

Marianne I really could relate to your stair story. One night Tom came out of the bedroom in his wheelchair stark naked with his foley bag dragging along with him. Somehow he got himself out of the wheelchair and tried to crawl upstairs. As I struggled to get him back into the wheelchair, I asked him where he was going. He told me "to find the guy you have upstairs." Sounds so funny to me now but certainly wasn't at the time.

You ladies are just amazing.......luv you all......Jeanmarie

I am with all of you. I feel absolutely nuts. It has been an awful weekend for me as well. I really don't know what to do anymore. I hate waking up.

Sometimes I stay in bed until 10, I stay in bed as long as he will sleep and stay and bed and then when he gets up I am grumpy to start my day.

All these things are so familiar. My husband was doing pretty good, and was cooperative for quite some time, but the last few weeks, Roy has been saying he needs no help, although he forgets everything. He is more confused, but is realizing that his memory is going. It is very sad . He is over the "let's go" stage", that also drove me crazy. Now he is upset with me that we are not going anywhere. He wants to go to our sons home in NH, but just an hour trip to my daughters tires him out so. You never know what is next.

I hear ya Deborah! I laughed too when i read Marianne's story of ron falling asleep on the step. If anyone else would read excerpts of this things, they would thing we were all a bunch of nut cases!

I just remarked the other day how there are several of us with loved ones nearing the end. It can't be too soon. And we all understand that statement.
Hugs.......Carolyn