Hugs to you Deborah as I know that would hurt. Do you think Rollie could be depressed? My Mother was depressed and didnt want to be here. Mum is on a low dose antidepresent.

Its so hard isnt it? Maybe he was trying to tell you he felt sick. Mmmm I probably would get a Dr around to check him out anyway.

I know that Alzeimer patients cant plan a suicide, but be aware. One fellow in Australia actually dragged himself into the water, which was shallow, and drowned.himself. He also had told staff he wanted to die.

I would just change the subject if he starts talking that way again, and say something like, Why dont we go down the street and get some icecream together? Or would you like to go out for a cup of coffee? Just any diversion you can think of.

I wish you well Deborah, my heart goes out to you :)

I'm so sorry deborah. Wish we could all get together for a big group hug. Maybe someday........

I wonder if that truly isn't their wish when they still have some cognitive thinking. Ron used to say things like that... like
"it would be better if I was gone"..

Our Dr said at that time that it is not uncommon for them to not want to go further into Alzheimer's when they are in early/moderate stage and she has known of a few suicide's... usually pills.

Remember in the book " Still Alice".. she had a stash of pills ..

Interesting topic..

Hi: I know it's sad when they tell us that they want to die. My mom tells me that she wants to die all of the time and then I just say to her..."What am I supposed to do without you?"
I think that there are many times when our moms or husbands just want to die because they can no longer look after them self. They were all independent at one time and not they are stripped of that and their dignity to boot! My mom has said to me a few times that she does not like being a burden to me. This is when I realize that somewhere in there is still my mom, wanting the best for me. Most times I think that she does not, or can not think of how my life is. I guess she can and I am sure that our loved ones still think that they are burdens and that does depress them.
God bless all of you!!!!!!!!!!

My mother will go through phases of "not of any use anymore" I'm just a burden" and "why am I still here" She's in stage 5-6 so I know she understands what's happening. In Rollie's case, I'm sure he might have moments when he's cognizant enough to grasp the reality.

Those words are so hard to hear. Obviously your dynamic got through to him. Let's hope so!

I took care of my Grandmother for 10 months before she passed away. She had ALS. (Ugly). She used to plead with me to give her something to help her die. It was so hard for me.
I can only imagine what an Alzheimer's patient feels during those moments of reality (although few and far between). Living would be much more frightening than dying.

so far he has stopped talking like that but I believe on some level he meant it. He was a doer and an active person and so I know that it bothers him he has to have help all the time. I think he does have moments when he does understand what is going on but is frustrated. I'm sure it;s all natural and if he continues I will take him to to the doctor.

I know Neal has told me that if he had the courage he would kill himself. He does not want to die with Alzheimers, we did talk some about this when his mother had it and we'd talk to his sister about what they were going through taking care of her and he would say I'd rather be dead then be like that and have you go through that. I'm pretty sure he ment it and after talking to his phsyciartist he was put on meds, prozac, for the depression and it's helped course now he doesn't really remember those days (as far as I know) but then he also rarely talks or expresses any kind of feeling.
I think there are probably many independent people who do take their own lives once they've received the diagnoses of AD. I have a strong suspicion I might be one to do that if that day ever came. I have a horror of nursing homes and after seeing some of the worest the disease can cause would not want my children to take care of me and have that as their final memory of me.

That is so sad.....this whole disease is sad. I would do anything to change the subject and i always reassure my husand that I will be here for him and he won't be at the mercy of someone who doesn't know him. I pray when it gets worse i will find home help.but i guess none of us knows what lies ahead. reassurance does seem to help my husband when he gets sad and melencholy. As bad as it is for us i can't imagine what it is like for them (in their lucid moments) knowing what they are going thru and what is to come. All any of us can do is live in the moment. redirect his thinking in anyway you can think of(whether valid or not) hopefully he won't remember. Hugs my friend......