A question I have asked nearly everyday for years.

Glad you are getting help with the Depends..
Did you know... they tear down the side seams if you have a real loose nasty? For a long time I was cuttng them off.

Many times .. when my head is upside down in a Depends mess..
I ask " why.. oh..why ? And .. I ask how much longer can I do this..

I am asking the same question. I don't have the poop yet, but I know it is just around the corner.

Me too! Me too! Went to dinner with good friends last night and they were all telling me how hard my life is & how they couldn't do what I do. I have to question that too. Why ?

The answer to why is - because.,,...

I too (like Sharon) haven't yet hit that , though I know its coming. We are in the incontenance phase which is hard enough, Can't imagine the next step. Always thought of myself as a decent caring person but lately i am having a harder and harder time accpting all this. Don't know what to do as guilt is my middle name whenever I feel I have failed. (catholics are famous for guilt trips) Don't think I can get any respite care as I think we need to be further along. Dr says hes moderate-severe now.how far must you get for help? It has been almost 5 years now and i am wearing thin...any issues I have are all from stress the dr says (diverticulitis,shingles) What is this horrible disease that robs both the caregiver and patient of all dignity and peace??? I am going to try and find a live group somewhere (like some of you have) and hope that helps a bit. Its unfair that we who are trying to give so much should feel sucvh guilt when we dare to honestly say "Come on enough is enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Those of you who are further along than we are are truely saints with a capital S. I hope i make it.

I just started the POOP thing with my mom. It started in the car when my husband and I went too mom for a drive. I said a big WTF.....Many times. I was beside myself and could not believe what had just happened. I had nothing with me to change mom or clean her up. I just did the best I could and then we went straight home and into the tub. Now that it has begun I am much more prepared, thanks to the wonderful ladies here in this group!!! I have a bag with everything needed for any situation. I feel much better now as we take mom for a drive.
Thanks again ladies!

I told Hubby yesterday, after cleaning up a HORRIBLE mess, that there was only one positive thing about this poo situation with Mom. I feel like if I can clean that up and survive it, I can do anything else that is ever required of me!!

It is tough the first time. We may get better at it but we never get better at accepting it.

hang in there.

Many years ago I terminated a man for talking food off of the shelf and eating it. A couple days later he showed up for work , I gently explained that he no longer worked there. "Why ? " He cried.I felt like crap.
I later found out that he had been doing many strange things and guess what he had.

I know that is why I am being punished now for this god awful ,mean ,poop cleaning ,heart breaking disease.

Oh Glenda... I don't know why.. that made me laugh ! Blaming yourself...

I have often wondered what did we ever do in our lives to deserve
this... cause this. Bad choices, karma ??

We are not being punished for the past .. is just is what it is.

I think that we are not being punished. We are just the ones chosen to do this because we can. This is the way I have to look at it. Some days I don't think I can do it any more but I find the strength, read some more posts here on DS and keep plugging on forward. Thank God that I can do this. What would happen to my mom if I couldn't?

Gary Zukov says in "The Seat of the Soul" that these kinds of things are learning exeriences and that we given them because we are ready to learn and grow, sometime I don't want to grow!

Deb, I know that feeling (have also ready Zukov and most of the time agree with him, well all the time basicly except when I am tired of learning and want a break)

Sher, I would think if you've reached the point of having to deal with incontinence you should be able to get respite care. Unless your state Alz. ass. is run different then it is up here in alaska. Neal is not to that stage yet and I qualify for help, just have not been able to really find good help and now that I'm not sick all the time and so depressed I'm dealing with him well enough I have't pushed for it. Talk to them and find out what their criteria are. Believe me being able to get out for a couple of hours can be a brain saver.