Alzheimer's Disease Support Group
Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...
My mother, 82, is in early stages of AZ. She is forgetful. She is paranoid someone is stealing her money, when she is the one who hides it then forgets where she hid it. She hides everything. Mail, jewelry, keys. I am married, but we decided that I should move in with my parents. I have been there for a month now. My father is diabetic and he just had his leg amputated. He is in rehab now, so it is just me and my mother at home. She doesn't eat much, so I try to make her something when I get home from work. She keeps forgetting that dad had his leg amputated. Now she thinks after rehab he will be able to come home and start working outside doing yard work. He's 84 and hasn't done yard work in at least 5 years. She doesn't wander. She always drove herself where ever she needed to go, but I have taken her car away.
I just wanted to post my story.
Thank you
I just wanted to post my story.
Thank you
My mother had been having her mothers jewelry reset in other pieces so she could use them. How many engagement rings does anyone need..lol. Well there was an extra stone that they had put in an old pill bottle and hidden in a dresser drawer. Surprise surprise it's gone. They tore the house apart and never found it.
The value was not much but it was a sign that even important things will disappear. Almost two years later I hear stories every week that make me realize that neither of my parents are remembering things the way they should. Last week mom found a box full of reports that they always claimed the hospital would not send to them. They have been sitting somewhere in that house for several years now and no one ever knew.
Have you considered what you will do when your dad comes home? Daytime caretakers? Doesn't sound like your mom is up to it although sometimes having a purpose helps to focus the mind.
WElcome to our group...no one wanted to joining, but...we are very fortunate to have people who understand EVERYTHING you can talk about here and will not judge you at all.
It is good for you to post your story and to come here often to tell more of it as it develops...Caregiving has its rewards, but it is hard, sometimes very tiring mentally as well as physically, and it is just hard.....in almost all ways....loneliness in caregivers is particularly an issue....
You have an awful lot going on and I imagine you might be feeling a bit overwhelmed as well as lonely. I agree with Tigg that you need to me talking with the Social Worker at rehab in order to understand what your father will be able and not able to do when he is discharged, and if those disabilities are something that can be coped with in the home....ie will he be in a wheelchair...how many people will it take to transfer him if he is....would any modifications to the home be necessary...bathrooms, rooms for a wheel chair/walker, thresholds, ramps, etc.....You need to know what you all will be faced with as a result of his amputation and ongoing diabetes.
Your mother's forgetfulness and hiding things is difficult and will become more so...I still have not found a lot of things my husband 'hid'....including some sentimental items...(the netsuke i gave him for a wedding present...which was probably also somewhat valuable), some books, many other things.....sad but things are things...but...try to put in a TRULY safe place irreplaceable things like insurance cards, legal papers, etc.
The ALzheimer's Assoc in your state has a wealth of information on the disease that you may find helpful. They also have a 24 hour Helpline.
Your mother may do ok with breakfast if you can see to it she gets that and some dinner, with snacks left in baggies when you are at work......Smoothies with protein powder, yogurt, fruits, etc can often help.....
As far as her thinking he will be back to doing yard work...sometimes with an Alzheimer' person it is better not to pursue a topic, it may be dropped or forgotten soon enough..if that is not possible, sometimes a simple....'we'll figure that out.later' will do.
Also, you will want to review the legal status of your parents...durable power of attorney, health care proxy, living will.....
as well as their financial status so that you know where to find $ for care for them when you are working..........
I think you have been very wise to take the car away....maybe just make sure she can't get your keys and drive your car....
I hope we can be of some help to you, we have all dealt with so many things......we do know how hard what you are going through is.....
I have two sisters that assist in certain areas. I am also married and my wife will come over and stay 2-3 nights. As far as POA and financial matters, that all has been taken care of. I am on their accounts and control her money now. One sister is a nurse so she is in charge of the meds. The other helps out on the weekends as I go back to my house to get some relief as well as see my family.
They are going to try and teach my father how to use a prosthetic leg. If he can manage that then that's half the battle. He was having a visiting nurse come in daily to check on him. I'm sure that will continue.
My wife is OK with it so far. She loves my parents and they love her so it's not your stereotypical in-law setup. It's probably hard on him with 2 minors to look at after by himself. For your sake, I would try to get your sibs to take over since they are not married. I have another sister who is divorced with no kids and does absolutely nothing to help. We have basically shut her out of everything that is going on now.
I am wondering how things are going for you and what is happening with you......your parents...
Hugs......
I am wondering how things are going for you and your Dad....with two minor children and a husband it sounds like the situation will have to change, if it hasn't already.
I do remember a lot of posts where it seems like only one member of the family is the caregiver and the others seem to be 'unavailable'.
You can only do so much and long term arrangements will probably need to be made.
You deserve a life as do your children and husband. I know when my Dad was very sick he wanted for me to have the least possible amount to do.......
Hugs....
Aside from that, everything is still moving along.
Welcome to the site. I'm new too since yesterday. I take care of my husband's grandmother. She was showing signs before I got married to my hubby but his grandfather was in denial. She had her knee redone which caused her Alzheimer's to advance and since then she's gone through so many stages and she's done so many things.
I hope you get help and we could also help each other. Good luck.