ALL MOODY BLUES Community Group
This group is for all people, no matter what disease, disorder, or life issue that causes you moody times and needs a little support or wants to give support. Be yourself, have fun meeting new people that care and understand you. RULES- show respect, no extra drama, no bashing, keep personal info confidential , and don't give advice [ if asked ok] . problems or...
I am so seriously bored right now and it's a major trigger for me I'm an alcoholic and I've put myself in a really bad position. I have no sponsor, I have no one to call and I really don't go to meeting but I've been doing so well lately and I didn't think it was going to be a problem I figured I could handle it on my own but I'm really obsessed right now I just bought a whole lot of beer and I really want to drink but then again I really don't.
Really this isn't the right board for this kind of thing but I find a lot of support here and I really need some right now. I'm really embarrassed because I know some really good friends of mine are going to read this and be very disappointing with me and that really hurts me. I struggle with this damn issue so much and it won't seem to just let me go. it's been well over 100 days since this has happened but none the less I did it and I don't know where to go from here. Obviously I need some help but I can't go to any meeting because I don't have a car and they are all so far away I could take a bus but they don't run this time of night. I looked up the meeting schedule and there is just no where I can go.
I really love Rachyla and rosebud and all the rest of you here and I don't know why I'm even saying this but I have been recently made an admin and I don't feel like I deserve the title right now. I try my best to give hugs and support to everyone that needs it or wants it and probably some of you that don't but I struggle with this thing really hard sometimes and I can never seem to just do the right thing.
I've revealed to all of you my weaknesses and of late this board has been really slow so none of you will get this message till all this is long over. Please don't think poorly of me everyone here has major problems some from what I've read most ways worse than mine. Like I say I thought I could handle it but obviously I was wrong. My liver can't take much more of this I've gotten some bad reports about it in the past but I was clean and sober for almost 4 years and then I got out on my own and the temptation got to me. As I write this I am so afraid to hit the submit button.
Rosebud if you want to take me off as an admin I understand and I won't argue with you at all and Rachyla yes I could have called you but I just didn't want to wake you up. has anyone else here had this kind of thing go on or is it just me. You are my friends right now because I am so isolated I never go out, I spend all my time in this 400 square foot apartment and it get to me. I'm not really drunk but then again I'm not really sober and if there is anything I've learned is that you should never send out messages when you are drunk but I'm not quite there yet.
OMG why am I saying all this, I shouldn't be but I just don't know what to turn to right now. I have faith and believe in God and I know he would help me if I just asked but I can't seem to get myself to do that right now. Again I say this isn't really the right board but for this but being open and honest is really hard for me and I don't know anyone on the alcoholism board. So I've taken too much of your time to read all of this and I will stop.
Really this isn't the right board for this kind of thing but I find a lot of support here and I really need some right now. I'm really embarrassed because I know some really good friends of mine are going to read this and be very disappointing with me and that really hurts me. I struggle with this damn issue so much and it won't seem to just let me go. it's been well over 100 days since this has happened but none the less I did it and I don't know where to go from here. Obviously I need some help but I can't go to any meeting because I don't have a car and they are all so far away I could take a bus but they don't run this time of night. I looked up the meeting schedule and there is just no where I can go.
I really love Rachyla and rosebud and all the rest of you here and I don't know why I'm even saying this but I have been recently made an admin and I don't feel like I deserve the title right now. I try my best to give hugs and support to everyone that needs it or wants it and probably some of you that don't but I struggle with this thing really hard sometimes and I can never seem to just do the right thing.
I've revealed to all of you my weaknesses and of late this board has been really slow so none of you will get this message till all this is long over. Please don't think poorly of me everyone here has major problems some from what I've read most ways worse than mine. Like I say I thought I could handle it but obviously I was wrong. My liver can't take much more of this I've gotten some bad reports about it in the past but I was clean and sober for almost 4 years and then I got out on my own and the temptation got to me. As I write this I am so afraid to hit the submit button.
Rosebud if you want to take me off as an admin I understand and I won't argue with you at all and Rachyla yes I could have called you but I just didn't want to wake you up. has anyone else here had this kind of thing go on or is it just me. You are my friends right now because I am so isolated I never go out, I spend all my time in this 400 square foot apartment and it get to me. I'm not really drunk but then again I'm not really sober and if there is anything I've learned is that you should never send out messages when you are drunk but I'm not quite there yet.
OMG why am I saying all this, I shouldn't be but I just don't know what to turn to right now. I have faith and believe in God and I know he would help me if I just asked but I can't seem to get myself to do that right now. Again I say this isn't really the right board but for this but being open and honest is really hard for me and I don't know anyone on the alcoholism board. So I've taken too much of your time to read all of this and I will stop.
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So mad at Xfinity! They're trying to charge me $115 per month for the same service I had been paying $50 the last four years. I took the equipment to UPS for shipping and cancelled my subscription today! Next door was a cookie shop called Crumbl. I had heard of it before but never went in until today. I don't need one more sugar fix, but maybe it will help with my sad) grieving heart....$15...
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Good Thursday to you!I've been watching a really long trial on Youtube these last couple of nights and will finish tomorrowHopefully I'll be in the land of nod soon and I hope my peeps are having sweet dreams followed by a great daySending hugs...xo
And man u gotta get rid of that guilt and stop punishing urself! Like Rachyl said, go to meetings, get a sponser and do the steps! Listen at those meetings because I guarantee you will hear a message directly relating to YOU!
Stop beating up on urself and go to meetings aqnd do the steps, they have worked for millions of others and they WILL work for you.....if you let it!
Good luck!
I am so sorry you were struggling with this the other night and I wasn't here to support. The truth of the matter is everyone has struggles and things in their life that they wish wasn't so. But what you have to fight day in and day out does not define you. You are a strong person for posting this Christopher. For being above the disease and saying, "I will not give it more power over me" by seeking support during your darkest hour. I am so glad you had many moodie members here to help you and ensure you knew how important it is that you spoke out. You are doing an amazing job. Just go back to attending your meetings (even when you have a handle on it)...because getting back to the swing of things is more challenging if you try to go back to good habits when you're clouded with destructive feelings.
Stay strong, stay sober. Many hugs to you, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Rosa
And then, God was so gracious, he left me so many other areas to work on, like a bad temper, like suffering and marriage issues. We all struggle, there is no one perfect.
Really, your honesty and transparency is good. If not here, then where? Please get a sponsor and do the meetings. And pour that beer down the toilet. That is all it is good for.
Hugs and God bless!
Human beings are tricky creatures. Don't blame yourself. Keep trucking. I am proud of your sobriety.
My dad has been sober since I was 6 years old and my alcoholic sibs (wet) have been sober for 21 and 25 years respectively. The dry alcoholic has been sober for about 5 years now.
It can be done. Be firm. Get someone to help you find a sponsor. And remember, don't let the politics of any group get in your way.